I (40M) just got off a long flight, the kind where even the comfiest seats feel like torture racks. Now, I'm a big dude. Not yet book 2 seats level, but enough for plane seats to be absolute hell. Booked a window seat, figured the extra space would help.
The flight attendant assigns a woman to the middle seat. Nice person, we exchanged greetings, no problem. Here's where things get tricky. Nature called a couple of times during the flight, and let's just say squeezing by in that cramped space is an exercise in contortionism at the best of times.
The woman in the middle seat politely refused to get up whenever I needed to use the restroom. (The lady in the aisle seat was very accommodating and would get up any time either I or the lady in the middle needed to get up).
Now, I get it. Nobody wants some sweaty dude brushing past them. I tried my best to minimize contact, literally sucked in my gut and held my breath like I was underwater. But even with all the contorting, there was some unavoidable brushing past.
At the end of the flight, the woman makes a passive-aggressive comment about "personal space" and how uncomfortable I made her feel throughout the flight. Honestly, I felt terrible.
Didn't mean to make her feel that way, but what else was I supposed to do? Hold it for 8 hours? Ask her to physically get up? (Since she repeatedly didn't get up and indicated I should squeeze by, I had no reason to think she was too bothered by it). AITA for making her uncomfortable?
HappyTrifler said:
NTA. You’re nicer than me, my response would have been: “Ma’am you refused to get up, so my only options were to either encroach on your personal space or pee on you. I’m sorry you feel I chose the wrong option.”
SearchApprehensive35 said:
There is no such thing as "politely refused to get up" when a seatmate needs to get out of the row. When there's about 4cm of gap to wriggle our bodies through, it is incumbent on everyone to get up when someone needs to pass. Anyone who doesn't want to do that basic act of civility needs to book a window seat or exit row.
She was rude, you did your best to cope with a tough situation that was of her creation and the airline's. Even if you'd been skinny, the result would have been approximately the same. Don't beat yourself up about it. NTA. P.S. if that ever happens to you again, summon the flight attendant. YOUR physical space was being violated. Uncool.
Robbes_Watch said:
NTA. But first, on what planet does someone pick the window seat on the theory that it might offer more space? An aisle seat, sure. I've seen that plenty. But a window seat? I've actually flown numerous airlines many times and never had someone say that. But I digress....
The lady in the middle chose not to get up when nature called. Not your problem. I guess she'd better buy a first-class seat from now on, so she won't have to put up with people invading her personal space.
_Tarkh_ said:
Who the hell doesn't get up to let the window person in and out? Even if you are a slender been pole there's not enough space to get out to the aisle without rubbing against someone.
toadpuppy said:
ESH - you should have booked an aisle seat
weech1234 said:
NTA. Eight hours is a long time to be expected to not use the bathroom, but why book a window seat if you know going into it you’re going to be up and down several times?
Backlashwaves said:
Maybe it’s time for that 2nd seat even if you don’t think it is. It’s inconvenient at best for everyone around you