'AITA for making my sick husband clean up his vomit after he threw up on the floor?' UPDATED

"AITA for making my sick husband clean up his vomit?"

My husband has been dealing with a stomach bug of some kind the last few days . Vomiting, diarrhea, nausea, etc. I’ve been taking care of him and the house and kids by myself because of it which is a lot of work with 2 under 5.

This morning my husband wanted to try eating something so I made him toast as requested. As he was on the couch nibbling on his breakfast I was making our toddlers their breakfast and feeding them when I hear him violently gagging in the other room. He’d been hanging out in the living room during this entire illness so he had a trash can there in case he had to puke or whatever.

I called out to him to remember to use it or to go to the bathroom if he thought he was vomit. He didn’t listen and threw up all over the floor and got some on the couch. Husband then comes into where I’m feeding our kids and says he’s gonna go to our room so I can clean up his puke.

I said absolutely not there was really no reason for him to vomit all over the floor so he needed to take care of it . I had been cleaning it up all weekend already without complaining when he was getting sick by surprise but he has plenty of time to prepare for this and not make a mess. Husband is now all mad at me for not showing him a good bedside manner. So AITA?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

AmberWaves80 wrote:

I don’t have to remind my 9-year-old to puke in the toilet. My 9-year-old is smarter than your grown husband. NTA. He did that on purpose.

SnowFizzle wrote:

NTA. Does he not understand that the rest of us have been sick before too? You get like a little indication before you get violently ill even if it’s like three seconds for you to grab that trashcan

I am 44-years-old and I have had stomach bugs and chemo and not once have I ever puked all over my floor or furniture. You can hightail it to the sink, to the bathroom, somewhere other than just letting it go.

I can’t believe those were his expectations.

moomintrolley wrote:

I’ve been so violently sick before that I couldn’t make it to the bathroom and threw up in the hallway, so I know it’s not always possible to control it. But you know what I also did? Cleaned that up myself because (a) I’m an adult that can clean up after myself and (b) I didn’t want to potentially expose anyone else to my horrible stomach bug germs. Your husband is being selfish and inconsiderate. NTA.

ivytower10 wrote:

NTA - whenever my man pukes he also manages to “not make it to” the toilet or garbage despite us talking about this. I think they genuinely have no sense of how much cleanup these things are, and don’t force themselves to move over the one foot to miss the floor. Obviously we’ve all been really sick before, and not once have I just puked onto a floor or furniture.

gas_unlit wrote:

This feels like a deliberate power move on his part. That would make me livid. Like, I would be seriously considering divorce over that. It's not normal for a grown ass man to not be able to contain his vomit to the bucket or toilet.

The way he walked off after telling you to clean it up then got attitude when you refused tells me he did it deliberately. This isn't just some dumb guy who never learned how to use the sick bucket. This was a deliberate attempt at gaining power over you. What a disgusting excuse for a man.

Sweet_Vanilla46 wrote:

In almost 25 years with my husband I have NEVER cleaned his vomit. Only had a couple occasions when he didn’t get to the bucket or toilet (early on, booze was involved) but he cleaned up his own mess. I have never missed bucket or toilet, most I ask is for him to bring me a bucket if I’m in bed sick.

Any cleaning of the bucket is done by the person who puked. My kids both have been cleaning their own sick since early teens, because we take responsibility for ourselves. I’ll make soup, bring tissues, commiserate…but after age of 12 your puke is your own. NTA.

Accomplished_cake430 wrote:

Does your husband actually need to be told not to vomit on the floor? Personally, if it happened in my house I would have to assume that it wasn’t possible to make it if that happened. Benefit of the doubt, no one wants to puke in the living room. Stomach flu just tore through my house, so I feel you, it truly sucks. and having two little to manage is a LOT.

Everyone in the house must just feel so over all of it by now. If your spouse tried to offer to help but truly cant, so be it. He may just be at the point in the illness where his body is depleted and that will NOT bring out the best in anyone. I want to validate your feelings too, though, this is gross and you re SPENT. No one is TA.

PS. If you don’t already have one, buy a small wet/dry vac. with two little you will get a lot of use out of it. signed, a parent who has been there.

Not long after posting, OP shared an update.

Update: I never expected so many comments. Feel very validated. All day my husband kept making snide comments at me about not being a good wife and anyone who cares about their loved one wouldn’t “punish” them when they’re sick. So I showed him your comments and it finally shut him up.

I’ve received many DMs and there’s been lots of comments about hubby possibly getting me and our children sick, don’t worry the rest of us are okay. Husband likely got food poisoning from eating food that had been sitting in his work break room for nearly 24 hours. Thanks for all the comments.

The comments kept coming.

slendermanismydad wrote:

Why the hell is he in the living room? So he can get everyone else sick?

He had a trash can and still threw up everywhere. Then he goes to the room so you can clean it up? Not sure why you had two kids with this dude or why you didn't just call his mother and tell her to come get him.

Individual-Subject19 wrote:

NTA. Men in a weird way start competing for attention once they have kids to see if they’ll be taken care of as well. But the exhaustion is REAL and the need to grow up is real.

Pandasrthebest wrote:

NTA. You are the mother of his children, not his mother. He’s a grown man who can’t even bother throwing up on a trash can. He can clean up his own mess. If he’s complaining about your bedside manners, tell him he needs to show basic manners first.

shame-the-devil wrote:

So your husband presumably has some sort of contagious stomach bug. He decides to stay in the living room instead of a spare bedroom or something??? While you have 2 kids under 5 who could catch it from him???

And then he wants the caretaker of 2 kids under 5 to get in direct contact with his puke, so you can catch it too????

NTA but who is this weirdo you married wtf