"AITA for making my uncle leave my wedding early?"
My husband and I had about 100 guests at our wedding, it was an amazing celebration that went on until 2 am. However, I really wanted my grandmother, who is 95 and in a wheelchair, to be able to experience as much of the wedding as possible. My grandmother has two children, my mother and my uncle (let's call him Jack).
As my mother recently had surgery and had to attend the wedding in a wheelchair herself, there was no way for her to pick up my grandmother and bring her back home. My grandmother does not trust anyone else but her children to take her (she needs help getting up the stairs into her apartment, which is not an easy task).
Before the wedding, Jack said he would not drive my grandmother home, because she would want to go home early and he would miss so much of the reception. As there was no other way for my grandmother to be there, I called Jack myself and asked him to drive my grandmother home.
He finally agreed. My grandmother ended up staying a lot longer than we expected, until after dinner and the first dance, about 9:30 pm. However, after the wedding, Jack said that having to drive my grandmother home ruined the whole day for him and that he could not enjoy the wedding at all. So AITA for making my uncle leave my wedding early?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
New_Beach1011 said:
YTA. Is he a valued guest or a caregiver? His invitation seemed to come with conditions that nobody else's did when you guilted him into agreeing to this. Hopefully this is a wakeup call to your family that your grandmother needs some paid help occasionally.
GaveUpOnBeingPretty said:
Soft YTA. I understand how important it is to have certain relatives at your big moments, especially your wedding, but your uncle was a guest at the wedding too. Your grandmother's requirement that it be your mother ( who was incapacitated ) or your uncle put you in a tough spot, but badgering your uncle until he agreed is wrong.
I would apologize to your uncle, thank him profusely, and make sure he knows how much it meant for you to have your grandmother and him at your special day.
BrinaGu3 said:
ESH - I can understand not wanting to leave an event you are enjoying with family and friends to take somebody home. He told you from the beginning that he didn't want to do it, but you badgered him.
I can understand wanting your grandmother at your wedding, but why not have her come to the church and the photos and leave before the party starts? I have a harder time understanding your grandmother insisting that only your mother or uncle can drive her. Selfish on grandma's part.
Less_Instruction_345 said:
YTA. You basically forced him and that's not fair. He was entitled to want to enjoy your wedding. You should have made other arrangements for this one special day.
FireBallXLV said:
If your Uncle does not want to take care of his mom then you have no authority to make him do so. You HAD the power--by denying him access to the party if he did not comply. But if you forced him then yes, that makes YTA.
15021993 said:
YTA. You made it a condition. Why didn’t you order a car service? It is quite unfair to force someone even if it’s his own mother.
Just_Looking135 said:
Someone couldn’t tuck her in at a nearby hotel and then join her overnight after the reception? This is just weird that everything was so rigid about her care. ESH.