"AITA for making no exceptions for a childfree wedding?"
All names are fake Me (F 27) and my husband (30) got married last week. I have two brothers, "Carl" (33) and "Jake" (30) both married with two children. Jake children are 4 and 7 while Carl children are 6 and 8.
I like spending time with my nephews, but most of the time Carl's children aren't able to behave, and I didn't want them to ruin the wedding, so me and my husband decided to not allowing child under 11 at our wedding. We said this six months before our wedding.
So everyone had the time to find someone to look at their children. A week before the wedding Jake's babysitter got sick and he wasn't able to find anyone else. Fortunately Jake's wife("Kate")'s sister, "Hannah" (17) decided that she would take care of them so my brother and his wife could attend the wedding (she was very happy since she find weddings boring and prefer stay at home playing with her nephews).
Day of the wedding. Everything seemed to be ok until Carl and his wife came with their children, but some guests stops them. I went to see them and I reminded them that it's a child free wedding. They told me I didn't give enough notice (6 months) so they couldn't find a babysitter.
I told Carl that the time was enough and he said that I should made an exception with family. Again, I told them no. It doesn't matter that they are my nephews, no children are allowed. Jake stepped out and reminded Carl that his children aren't there for the same reason and that he should stop acting like a child and let me have my moment.
We start to fight until my parents tried to convince me to let Carl's children at the wedding, but I refuse again. So Carl and his wife accepted this, and said that they would take them to Jake and Kate's house. (Yes, "said", not "asked").
Kate and Jake refused, but Carl tried to convince them by saying that Hannah is already taking care of their children, so two more weren't a problem, and that they were ruining my wedding by refusing (funny that he said that)
Carl then called Hannah in front of us, but she refused. Carl insisted for a while and then Hannah snapped saying that she will babysit them only after Carl and his wife will educated them, and when Carl replied that she is to young to understand how difficult is to be a parents is she told him to f- off. We fight for another hour until they decided to not be in my wedding.
The day after the wedding. Carl and his wife, my parents and most of my family say that I am the ahole for not making my nephews stay. And they are also saying that Hannah is an ahole too for not wanting to take care of her nephews (when they aren't her nephews at all) and for insulting my brother and SIL.
My brother and his wife (and her family) are on my side and my husband family too. But my family keep saying that I should've made an exception because all the family should have been at the ceremony. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say about this one:
Impossible-Major4037 said:
NTA. Failure to plan on their part doesn’t not constitute an emergency on yours. They didn’t have a sitter they should have stayed home not dragged their kids there and hope you’d let their entitled selves in. Horrible.
LearningLadyLurking said:
NTA, it’s always the parents refusing to accept “child free” applies to them that have the problem children. Probably due to entitled attitudes.
suziespends said:
Strong NTA If you had let carls kids stay Jake probably would get pissed that his kids weren’t there. You gave them plenty of notice to get childcare, you have nothing to feel bad about.
HappyTrifler said:
NTA. I’d have told Carl that the way his children behave is actually why you made the wedding childfree in the first place and then recommended some free/low cost parenting classes they should look into.
MistressFuzzylegs said:
NTA; I don’t get why people act like this over little kids at weddings. Those things are boring as hell to them. They had ample time, tried to strong arm you, then Hannah, and failed. They’re entitled jerks who think having kids makes them super duper special VIPs. I hope Hannah got a big ol’ tip for telling them to f off, though.