'AITA for not allowing my ex-fiancée to continue living with me after she broke off our engagement?'

"AITA for not allowing my ex-fiancée to continue living with me after she broke off our engagement?"

My ex-fiancée broke up with me because she felt that we barely saw each other which is a lie. I work in a family restaurant, and by the time my fiancée gets off work, I wouldn't make it home until 3-5 hours after her depending on the day.

She's been wanting me to find a new job because she felt that it wasn't fair she worked longer hours than I did and that since I worked in the evenings she didn't feel like we had enough time together.

I always told her that I had no desire to quit and that I think it'll be beneficial for us if she were to work with me because we'd get more time off and we'd get to spend it together. She told me that she didn't feel comfortable working for my parents, and I accepted that. She'd still complain from time to time, but I never thought she'd break up with me for it.

Well, she did, and she said my work schedule was the reason. This upset me deeply because I didn't understand. I don't work Sundays or Mondays, and I get to spend time with her Tuesday mornings and Saturday mornings before I go to work. I thought we were past it, but I was wrong.

When she broke up with me I was hurt. She was apologizing but told me that with our work schedules she didn't see how we could get married if I wasn't going to try and find a job that was better for all of us.

She said it would be better if we just stayed friends. I told her that she knew before we got engaged what my schedule was and she shouldn't accepted it in the first place. She told me that she accepted it because she thought that overtime I would try and find a different job.

After our break up I avoided her, because I didn't really want to see her anymore, but then I felt that I shouldn't have to be the one uncomfortable in my own home. It's not big enough to avoid her completely, and I felt that she needed to move out.

I told her that I felt that she needed to go and since we weren't getting married anymore there was no point in us living together. She asked me if I was serious, and I told her that I was. I asked for the ring back as well. She got upset by this because she said that I gave it to her and I shouldn't ask for it back since it meant something to her.

I told her that I bought it so we could get married, but since we weren't getting married, I wanted it back. She told me that I could easily afford to get a new one and that I was greedy.

She said that trying to kick her out and ask for her ring back after we've been together for so long was insensitive and I should be ashamed of myself. I didn't budge and she ultimately gave me the ring back and moved out 9 days ago.

But she told me that if I truly loved her I wouldn't have asked for the ring back and would have allowed her to continue living with me. She said that she had a legitimate reason to call off our engagement and that she shouldn't be made homeless because of it. She said that it was her home too since she lived there with me and she shouldn't have to live with her parents.

I don't fault her for calling off our engagement. I just wish she would have told me sooner. What I have a problem with is the fact she think she still has to live with me and gets to keep the ring that I bought?

EDIT:

I work

Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday-4:30pm-9pm

Friday-4pm-10pm

Saturday-4pm-11pm.

The restaurant is only open during the evenings.

She works 7:30am-6pm. She's off on Tuesdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

I'd also like to add that she's not a bad person. We were very good friends before we started dating, and this has definitely ruined our friendship, but I still think she's a good person who was just hurt by the situation. I didn't have to force her out, she moved out on her own.

I received 2 messages about her and they weren't kind. I'm not sure what other people think but I'm just trying to clear somethings up because I don't want other people to assume the worst.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Dipshitistan said:

NTA. What the actual f-k did she think was going to happen?

InstructionTop4805 said:

NTA. Engagement rings are given in expectation of marriage. No marriage no ring. And she can't really expect that breaking up with you but still living together was ever going to work. She just wanted you to be the one to make her leave so she can justify to herself (and probably family and friends) what a meanie you are.

TonsOfFunky said:

Oh man, she expected you to grovel and beg. That explains her behavior after the fact. She had no real intention of ending the relationship, just wanted to guilt you into doing what she wanted then maybe the engagement is back on if you continue to be a good boy. She would have done this the rest of your lives if you dared stand up to her and what you want.

Man4rnt_ said:

You are correct in how you handled it. The ring was a promise that you would get married. You didn’t so the ring goes back to you. As for her continuing to live with you I don’t know what she thought was going to happen there.

Since you broke up did she think you wouldn’t want to meet someone else? If you did meet someone else what did she think would happen if you wanted to bring them back to your place? I don’t understand her logic. NTA.

JollyForce9237 said:

NTA. The ring is given under the condition of marriage, no marriage = no ring for her. She broke up with you, what did she expect? That you would be living together as roommates? You dodge a bullet on this one.

Letzes86 said:

I do think she had a valid reason to break things up. But once she did it, what was she expecting? She had no right to stay in your house. NTA.