'AITA for not allowing my partner's sister's baby in the wedding?' 'I may sound like a villain.'
"AITA for not allowing my partner's sister's baby in the wedding?"
For personal reasons I will not be adding gender or age as people involved don't identify and I don't want to get in trouble with them. So for some context I am a infant teacher. I am around children for 10-12 hours a day.
My partner is not around children much and is very uncomfortable with them especially very young children. My partner and I agreed on having a wedding with 21+ in attendance.
We have told our guests that we aren't having anyone in or around the wedding who is underage (both families are heavy drinkers and some are know for use and I don't feel comfortable with a kid being exposed to that). We also agreed to this because of the budget we set and the amount of people we would want in attendance.
Now my partner is considering having the baby in the wedding after we had a family meet up and the sister became upset that the wedding is 21+. I may sound like a villain but I work all day with kids.
That's the last thing I would want at the wedding. I'm not jealous of the child, I'm more so worried about the activities that would be going on around the child. As a mandated reporter, I don't want to be put in a bad situation.
Plus we already told others that they can't bring their children and now we allow one? What should I do? AITA for not wanting this?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Much_Injury_8180 said:
You are free to have an adults-only wedding. People you invite are free to decline to attend if they don't want to pay for sitters or whatever. You and your partner have to agree, of course. It's not just your wedding, it's your wedding as a couple.
Oorwayba said:
YTA. Your partner wants the baby there. You can't decide on your own that it isn't allowed there. Anti-child rules need to be agreed on by you both. It isn't just your wedding.
And although you don't really need a reason to make the rule besides "don't want them there," you put a lot of effort into making a lot of weak excuses. Not really sure what the point of that is.
Additional_Injury536 said:
YTA - you don't want kids there, in your last paragraph you say that your partner wants their nibling. YTA for making the decision by yourself at that point. They can't be all that "very uncomfortable" with "very young children" if they want their sister's baby there.
photosbeersandteach said:
If you’re concerned anyone at your wedding will engage in activities that would require you to report them, then they are probably the ones who shouldn’t be invited. NTA for wanting a child free wedding.
FLVoiceOfReason said:
NTA. Your wedding, your call. You shouldn’t be pressured to justify reasons for your decision, either - it’s nobody else’s business.
OkReward2182 said:
NTA. For the life of me, I don't understand taking children, but particularly infants, to weddings. It's your event. You're free to invite or not invite anyone you want. Tell this individual if baby daddy or a babysitter can't be found, tough beans. She can't bring her baby to the wedding.
Swirlyflurry said:
YTA for trying to make this decision unilaterally. People are free to have child-free weddings. That’s fine. If that is what both partners want. Your partner wants their nibbling there. Unless you see someone abusing the kid, you’re not mandated to report anything.
And if you really think that’s going to happen at your wedding, you should be reconsidering the adults you’re inviting - not the baby. You’re free to make an exception - who cares if you “told others that they can’t bring their children.” It’s common for close family to be exceptions.