'AITA for not buying my husband gifts because he disappears when it's time to pay for my gifts?'
"AITA for stopping giving gifts to my husband?"
Relevant-Example133 writes:
Last year, I bought myself a bracelet and a necklace, and I told my husband that I’d love to have the matching ring someday. He said okay. A few months later, the ring went on sale, so I told him, and he said, “Let’s go!” While we were driving, he even asked, “Are you excited?” which, of course, I was.
We got to the store, and he told me to find the right size. Once I did, the salesperson brought out the card machine… and suddenly, my husband was nowhere to be found. I called him, and he had already left the store. When I confronted him, he said the ring was too expensive and he couldn’t afford it.
I was upset—not because he couldn’t buy it, but because he wasn’t upfront about it. Why hype me up, take me to the store, and let me pick my size if he knew he wasn’t going to follow through?
Months later, our anniversary came up, and he asked me what I wanted as a gift. He even suggested he could get me the ring. I was skeptical but said sure. He then asked if it was okay if he got it two days after our anniversary instead, and I agreed.
For his gift, I bought him a coffee machine with all the supplies. But when the time came, my ring never appeared. When I asked him about it, he said—again—that he couldn’t afford it. At this point, I was beyond frustrated. I told him not to make promises he can’t keep. (For context, he could afford it; he just changed his mind.)
He does this a lot—he gets excited in the moment, makes big promises, and then later changes his mind, leaving me disappointed. So I made a decision: I would stop giving him gifts altogether. For his last birthday, I didn’t get him anything, but he gave me a gift on my birthday. Now I’m wondering—AITA for refusing to give him gifts after everything?
OP answered some questions in the comments:
MissMandaRegrets says:
NTA. What he did with the ring was deliberately sadistic. His claim of not being able to afford it is just his excuse to dodge accountability. Why does he want to hurt you?
OP responded:
I think he wanted to put me in an awkward position so I’d end up buying it myself, and he wouldn’t have to. But I’m not entirely sure. What I really don’t understand is why he suggested it again later—was he genuinely excited at first but then changed his mind? I just don’t get it.
OldAdministration565 says:
NTA. Can I ask why you’re with him?? This seems like a huge.
OP responded:
I’m planning to divorce him. Not for this event specifically, but other stuff that I can’t forgive.