AITA for not cooking something vegetarian?
So I’m M29, and I live with 4 other flatmates (24–29) in a flat share. We’re all students and I’m moving out next month after my holiday. Last Sunday I cooked for my flatmates as a last supper before moving out. I informed my flatmates in WhatsApp group that I would cook dinner for us, all were invited, and asked which date everyone would be home.
I also said I would invite two friends (ex-flatmates) if they were free. One confirmed. None of us have any dietary restrictions, so I planned a 5-course non-vegetarian meal for 6 people (4 FM, me, and the CF). I brought groceries and wine beforehand and prepped the starter, freezing it so I wouldn’t have to rush on the day.
We live in Germany, so everything is closed on Sunday, including supermarkets. On Saturday at noon I started marinating chicken and preparing dessert. Dev (M25) DM’d me asking if his girlfriend could join. I know She’s vegetarian. So, I said it was fine but I hadn’t planned anything vegetarian except salad, bread, etc., and dessert already had egg (6 rice puddings for each of us in separate bowls).
He said she could eat the chicken sauce with bread. I said that’s fine. I also wanted to make something for her but I was tired and didn’t want to go buy groceries again walking 20 mins so I didn’t have much stuff at home we usually buy food only for 1 week as supermarkets are close from home, plus I was going on vacation next week so just wanted to finish whatever food I had.
Everything went well on Sunday. I started cooking at 14:00 for 18:00. Flatmates helped set the table; I declined help in the kitchen. Everyone arrived on time, we had music, and started dinner: starter, soup, main course, salad, dessert.
But Dev’s GF declined the appetizer and soup and asked if she can start with salad instead. She had to wait for main course as we were finishing our first two courses. As the main course was still in the oven I kept it warm there. And I didn’t want to go kitchen again to serve her food separately. I thought it would be great to all finish together.
We later started with main course and she had just gravy, from the main course with bread. Which I also felt bad about but I couldn’t help with that as it was already agreed. She didn’t complain at all. We finished our meal with dessert which was again for 6 of us, but her boyfriend and I shared with her.
She asked if we want to have espresso after dinner, we all said yes and she made it for us. After dinner, all 7 of us sat on the balcony with wine. Later the couple went inside, and Fabio said: “The food was great, but you should’ve made something for her so she has more than bread and sauce.” I reminded him I had informed them beforehand.
We argued a bit; I was tired, had spent effort and money, and wanted good memories. He said people might agree to the food but you should respect dietary preferences. I got annoyed and went to my room. Later he apologised, I accepted. But the evening, which was supposed to be nice, ended on a sour note. AITA for not cooking something vegetarian?
Edit: So the couple didn’t complain at all as they knew what was going to be served. We talked about it when I almost finished cooking preparing to be serve and I explained her sorry I couldn’t accommodate her.
But my other flatmate Fabio made a fuss later when we were in the balcony after the couple left to sleep. My other friends were on my side that I did my best to serve her what we agreed on chat with her BF.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
BlondDee1970 wrote:
NTA. As a vegetarian last minute plus one - she could have brought something herself to share that she could eat. Side note - I don't know a single vegetarian who would eat gravy from a chicken. I'm vegetarian and would have brought a dish to share.
You don't have to change your menu because someone wants to add a girlfriend to the dinner. He could have brought something for her as well. You were generous enough.
Channelspirited8831 wrote:
Yeah exactly, if she was a late invite it really should’ve been on them to make sure she had something she could eat.
OP responded:
The couple were very understanding. My flatmate Dev didn’t complain at all, not to me or to anyone else. Yeah could have brought something but they didn’t, as it was not a big deal for her to eat the gravy as she sometimes eat at her parent’s place. They gravy was the reduction of broth in which chicken was cooked.
Pendragenet wrote:
I'm confused - as a vegetarian myself, chicken sauce and gravy are not vegetarian options. The rice pudding would be more doable than those (many vegetarians eat eggs and dairy, but meat and meat based items are no gos).
So why would she be eating chicken sauce and/or gravy?
NTA. It was not Fabio's place to reprimand you. The GF said she was fine with the offerings - likely she ate ahead of time so she wasn't starving.
It WOULD have been nice if you had given her the salad rather than force her to watch you all eat appetizers and soup. She could have had a second serving while you all ate your main courses. The couple were NTA. They knew she was coming at the last minute and they accepted the limited food choices for her.
OP responded:
I intentionally made big portion of salad so she can at least eat that guilty free. I served her salad when we started with our first 2 course. She couldn’t eat soup as it had fisch in it. And I asked her to take more salat so she doesn’t have to wait long, which she did and didn’t complain at all.
Tough-Combinatrion37 wrote:
NTA. They could have picked something up or brought something from home. But if in future you’re in this situation, just use another vegetable (potatoes, cauliflower, carrots whatever you have) bake it or grill it and serve with the sauce. If you have dried beans, you could use those with the sauce.
That being said I can tell you like hosting your friends and put a lot of effort into giving them a great experience. Kudos to you on caring so much and don’t overthink this one dinner event.
OP responded:
Yeah I wanted them to have nice experience and remember it. I also gave them options what should I cook for main course and every one choose this option.
But I couldn’t really add anything to it. Because the meat was to be cooked in it. And I am going on vacation for 2 weeks so didn’t had much food as I was intentionally not buying much.