'AITA for not getting my GF food after she told me not to? She's legitimately pissed.'
"AITA for not getting my GF food after she told me not to?"
Hi all, My (26M) GF (23F) and I have been together for about a year and half. It’s been mostly good but it does seem like at times she has very odd expectations. This morning I was going out for breakfast and texted her to ask if she wanted me to get her breakfast and she said no. I asked her if she was sure and she assured me that she didn’t want one.
Come a few hours later she calls me and says “you know it really didn’t sit right with me that you didn’t get me food this morning. If you were more thoughtful you would’ve showed up to my door and surprised me with breakfast.” Mind you, we live about 10 minutes from one another so I had zero problem bringing her food but I asked her twice if she wanted it and she said no.
Do I just not understand women? She’s legitimately so pissed and thinks if I liked her more, I would’ve brought her food anyways. I sometimes think she obsesses over tik tok couples who stage every interaction they ever have so she expects some fantasy land relationship between her and I.
TLDR: I offered to buy my GF breakfast but after she told me she didn’t want anything multiple times, I ended up not doing so. Later she expressed to me that I was wrong for not getting her anything anyways.
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Kalietheblaze wrote:
NTA. This is a mind game, and it’s not fair at all to you. When someone clearly communicates that they don’t want something, it is completely unreasonable for them to expect you to somehow know that they were lying and really did want the thing. (For the record, I’m a woman, and I think only idiots play idiot games like this.)
OP responded:
I completely understand a woman saying “I don’t want to have to spell everything out for you” but stuff like this is way over the line in my eyes lol.
aggressive_cattle320 wrote:
NTA. Your GF needs to say what she means and mean what she says. If you ask her if she wants food and she declines and says no, it's safe to assume she does not want food.
She has a strange vision of what a "fantasy relationship" is. A surprise breakfast taco is in no way a romantic gesture.
OP responded:
The amount of clearly staged relationship tik toks she sends me is alarming.
mmmm_pi wrote:
NTA obviously. You can tell her that you have respect for her so you listen to what she says. Some questions for you to think about. Does she have a history of poor communication skills? Does she not understand that the vast majority of what is on social media is staged? Do you really want to be with someone who fritters their time away caring what other people are doing?
OP responded:
There’s certainly a pattern. She is very big about her being shown off on social media. I haven’t posted on any of my socials in like 8 years, I just don’t care to share my romantic life with people but I’m happy to be all over her pages.
There’s definitely a disconnect as far as her wanting other people’s approval of our relationship though.
I would totally understand her point if I was constantly posting stuff I was doing but in my case, I think that’s fine? I could be wrong here.
mallad wrote:
"You know, it didn't really sit right with me that you were dishonest with me this morning. If you were more honest and thoughtful with me, you would have accepted my offer of breakfast and not turned it into some sort of test." NTA.
jeremyism_ab wrote:
NTA she is, did you point out to her that she specifically said no not only once, but twice? What a f-king AH, you're not Kreskin, you took her at her own word and she's blaming you for listening to her, for not ignoring her? Do you see how f--ked up that is? No means yes, when she feels like it? No. No means no, and she's an utter AH for implying that she doesn't mean what she says, that's a no win situation, for anyone.
Key_Win8153 wrote:
This has nothing to do with gender. She is just in her fantasy land. Def NTA. You mentioning staged TikTok also makes sense here. She has to "grow up". If she ever loses you, she'd find that not many people tolerate these mind games she plays.
corgihuntress wrote:
Head games. She said something and you trusted her to tell you the truth. Now she's telling you she played a head game with you and you were supposed to just know she wanted it. That's BS and a red flag. NTA.
A-Strange-Peg wrote:
NTA IDK why/what made her pull that BS; it's just her. Put up with it as long as you want, then move on if she does not grow/change. Now if you want a comeback:: "You said NO, when a woman says NO, I accept that NO means NO*. Got it?"*
Grizzrich wrote:
NTA.
“If you liked me more you’d have ignored my clearly expressed preferences” is some weird s--t on her part.
EaseUsed5465 wrote:
Next time she says yes to food, don’t get her anything. See how she likes playing games then.
Competitive-Watch188 wrote:
Sh--ty manipulative immature behaviour. I would honestly pull this up hard!
NTA.