'Got stood up on first date - AITA for not giving him a second chance?'
"Got stood up on first date - AITA for not giving him a second chance?"
I (34F) was supposed to meet a guy (36M) for our first date today, he said he got off at 6:30pm and we could meet by his workplace and walk to dinner after. I messaged him at 6 and told him I was running a few mins late but would be there soon.
Arrived at 6:40pm, messaged him and walked around a bit. I never got any response from him so I went and got a drink. 7pm, still nothing. Later went to my car and drove right by his workplace - saw he was working and helping a customer at around 7:30pm.
At this point I get he was tied up with work, but also bummed that he never texted me to let me know. I decided to take myself on a date and grab dinner and see a movie on my own. At around 8:50pm, the texts from him started flooding in, but I never read them until after my solo date finished and the movie got out at 11:15pm.
He apologized several times and said he “didn’t forget” about our plans and still wanted to see me. When I asked why he didn’t text me to let me know what was up, he said “I tried to but I got super tied up… by the time I realized what time it was, it was too late. I’m so sorry.”
He had tried calling me several times but I feel like if he didn’t even have 1 minute to give me a heads up about him working late, why should I waste any more time speaking to him? I got ready, planned my day around this date, and wasted so much time waiting for him… I feel like the least he could have done was communicated with me.
"AITA for not giving him a second chance?" Here's what some people thought:
If he's working where he doesn't have his phone with him, I get him being busy and losing track of time and not messaging you. But...
I also get having a first date planned and keeping an eye on the clock at the end of your workday. You might lose track of time, but 2,5 hours is a lot. It's your choice to go on a second first date or not. You're NTA whatever you decide.
people who don't value your time don't value you.
Either it wasn't that important to him, he is like this all the time, or it was some kind of weird test. Not worth it.
Bullet dodged. Move on. Sorry but a guy who had so little respect for me that he couldn't invest 30 seconds to text is a hard pass. He was supposed to meet you around 6:30 and was still at work an hour later while you were waiting for him?????? Then almost an hour and a half after that he finally contacts you? What did he think you were doing for two hours?????
That level of nonconsideration on the first date is a HUGE red flag. A good rule of thumb: When you have the good fortune to dodge a bullet don't volunteer to stand in front of the firing squad for a second round. NTA and KUDOS for taking yourself on a solo date!