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'AITA for not helping my wife get ready in the morning?'

'AITA for not helping my wife get ready in the morning?'


"AITA for not helping my wife get ready in the morning?"

I'm currently out of work so I stay home with our 4 year old son during the day while wife works. My wife needs to be at work at 8 am, but lately, she will wake up at 6:45, sit in bed for 10 or 15 and watch TikTok videos or scroll Facebook, then go and shower, do her hair, makeup, and get dressed.

Meanwhile I get up, get out, son fed and let the dog out to pee (and because she's a runner, she can somehow get out of our fenced in yard) and get the dog fed.

This morning my wife comes down and gets made that her coffee isn't made, her lunch is not made and packed, her work stuff isn't together and brought out to the car, and her car isn't warmed up.

I told her that it's not my job to get her sh$t together and she can either wake up earlier in the morning or make her lunch and get her stuff ready the night before.

She told me that wasn't the point, the point is that as her partner, I should be assisting her to get to work on time and now she is going to be late. I told her if she didn't sit in bed watching TikTok or Facebook, she would be on time. She called me an ahole. So, am I?


Edit #1 - Since so many people are asking, no, she never got my lunch or warmed my car up or got my stuff ready in the morning when I was working. However I also worked strang hours and often left hours before she would wake, and in fact, she didn't drink coffee until a few years ago.

Edit #2 - I don't mind helping her out. I'm not that kind of partner that isn't upset that I have to help my partner. I'm more mad that instead of getting ready for her day, she's sitting in bed watching TikTok and except me to get her ready.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

mdthomas said:

You're her partner, not her parent. She is a grown adult. As long as you are helping with your child, you do not need to help her get ready for work. That is her responsibility. NTA.

Basilsainttsadface said:

NTA. She placed an unrealistic expectation on you, which you should have known by reading her mind. If she wants that level of support she should hire a personal valet. I'm betting the root of this isn't about your failure to do those things, but something deeper. Maybe about you not working. A complete guess on my part.

D-Valkyrie said:

NTA. You are helping in the morning. You are taking care of your child in the morning so she doesn't need to. Also did she ask? Like if she had asked and you said "Okay sure" that's one thing but it seems like she didn't ask she just expected you to play 1950s housewife.

jrm1102 said:

NTA - are you an AH for this, no. But tbh do you two like each other? Her just demanding you do stuff is wild but you also wanting to not help your partner at all is kind of wild too.

OldGuto said:

NTA. If it was just lunch I'd bite my tongue and not react to her, but getting work stuff together and warming up the car that's too much - that's totally on her.

nixiedust85 said:

NTA. Your wife is a grown woman. She is 100% responsible for making sure she is ready for the day.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one, but what's your advice for this couple?

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