'AITA for not inviting my step-siblings to my wedding?' 'It's common courtesy.'
"AITA for not inviting my step-siblings to my wedding?"
My fiance and I are getting married. We both decided we want to have a smaller wedding limited only to immediate family and a few close friends. "Immediate family" being defined as the family members we interact with on a regular basis, as both of us have family members we haven't spoken to in years.
We're doing this because hosting a big event with large crowds really stress us out, so were keeping it small. Now here's the thing, I have 5 step-siblings. If you count SOs its about 8 people in that pool.
Which is a significant increase to our guest size. Also every one of them came into my life after I became an adult and moved out (AKA I didn't grow up with any of them). So I didn't invite them for the reasons I mentioned above.
I don't have anything against them and there all good people, its just we only have limited number of venue slots and we are keeping it small, and I hardly interact with them.
And for the kicker. My dad called yesterday to give me some sh$% for not inviting his wife's three sons, Bill, Bob, and George. Am I the ahole for standing my ground and not inviting them? He was saying "Well it's common courtesy and expected for you to invite them" and "George in particular was really looking forward to it."
For context, I've interacted with Bill and Bob maybe 7 times total in my life. I've only seen George once in the past 5 years, and he's also never texted/called/responded to anything I've sent him. So I doubt he cares as much as my dad made it seem.
Also If I make an exception for them, people talk so I'll hear a bunch or "Well, you invited those step-siblings. Why were your other step-siblings not invited?" or "How come you invited these people but not your cousins?" Which I REALLY ABSOLUTELY 100% do not want to deal with.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Nitro114 said:
NTA. It's your wedding, your call who gets to be there.
PeaRepresentative843 said:
NTA - I suspect a more likely scenario is that George doesn't come around often, so they were hoping to lure him to visit. If you're having a wedding, especially a small one, try to get used to saying "it's a wedding, not a family reunion."
No-Accountant3744 said:
NTA you want a small wedding with people you’re actually close to. Venue space is already limited if you give in to the step siblings it opens the door other extended family. People who make no effort to be part of life semi regularly are not entitled to special moments.
TofuMissingCat said:
NTA, they're step siblings and you're not close with them, they basically sound like strangers. And it's your wedding so you get to decide who is invited.
Individual_Metal_983 said:
NTA you want a small wedding. You did not grow up with these people.
malibuklw said:
NTA. I was not invited to my stepsister's wedding and I didn’t invite her to mine. We had no limitations on invitations. We just aren’t close at all.
heycoolusernamebro said:
NTA, your wedding your rules. But don’t be surprised to be excluded from other events in the future.