'AITA for not paying for something I ordered and walking out? My friends annoyed me.'

"AITA for not paying for something I ordered and walking out?"

I(23f) have a friend group with five women including me. Their ages range between 21-26). This happened yesterday and I need opinions on whether I was right to walk out without paying or wrong for doing so. So yesterday was my friend's Lily(21f) birthday. She just turned 21 and wanted a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant.

Me and four other girls were in attendance. All of my friends drink aside from me. I'm not a drinker, have never been one, and will never be one. Me and my friends get seated down and Lily all happy suggests me to buy an alcoholic beverage. I refused and the rest of my friends decided to chime in and tells me to get one. Once again I refuse.

They know I don't drink and how I feel about it. But basically them begging me to get a drink kept going on for about five minutes. Even sent the waiter away because I hadn't agreed yet. I'm not good under pressure especially when multiple ppl are telling me to do one thing. I eventually said yes though because they kept begging.

Lily even suggested a drink and said it's for "beginners" whatever that means. I told them I didn't want it and that I know I won't like it. They said I will. The drink came and as I stated I didn't like it. One sip and I wanted it gone. They told me to keep trying it but I refused and luckily they just dropped it. Anyways the bill comes and I separated the meal that I got from the drink.

They all asked me why I did that as I should be buying the drink.??? I said I wasn't buying it since I didn't willingly get it. They begged me to get it knowing I didn't want it. Lily said I could've said no.. I DID!! Many times at that.

They kept going back and forth with me on it and eventually I just got up and walked out the restaurant. I sent the money for my meal to Lily and stated that if she or no one else was going to buy the drink then they shouldn't have begged me to got it. My husband stated I wasn't in the wrong and that I should distance myself from them. However the texts messages from all four of them haven't stoped.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

shelwood46 wrote:

NTA. If they were so desperate for you to drink, they could have just given you a sip of one of theirs. It's disgusting that they pressured you to get that drink. You were right to walk out and right to not pay. Block them all. They are not your friends.

toffifeeandcoffee wrote:

NTA. And these aren't your friends. No is a full sentence and why behind the no doesn't matter. You said no to alcohol and your so-called-friends didn't agree and pressured you. You did the right thing by walking out while paying for what you actually wanted to consume. Block these bullies and be done with them.

LackingTact19 wrote:

ESH, you ordered it and should have paid for it. Put your money where your mouth is if you're going to give into peer pressure. On the flip side they're not being good friends by pressuring you to drink. You should have said "I'll only get it if y'all are buying cause I don't think I'm going to like it and don't want it to go to waste. Can't have it both ways.

disastrous-artifice wrote:

NTA. You seem to have weird friends if they cannot respect your boundaries and wouldn’t stop pestering you after you said No the first time. And one time should really have been enough.

Maybe ask (in a face to face meeting preferably) how any of them would have felt if there was something they absolutely didn’t like or want, and then being more or less forced to try it anyway AND THE expected to pay for it afterwards. My mind boggles.

llamafull98 wrote:

NTA. No means no. You paid for your food but they pressured you to order a drink after you repeatedly said no. They should have footed the bill for that. You might want to reconsider the friendship tho. 1. They disrespected your boundaries 2. They didn’t even have the decency to cover the drink without blowing up. They really should have dropped the matter but kept insisting, that’s not what friends do.

Put them all on do not disturb so you don’t get notifications and then if you want to maybe in a few days read what they’ve said and then maybe based on their responses decide whether you still want to be friends (I.e. if they apologize for their behavior), if not then just block them.

megamawax wrote:

YTA. Just because you didn't have enough of a spine to resist the peer pressure doesn't mean you didn't still willingly ordered the drink. No one was holding your dog hostage. Maybe get some better friends.

SeveralDescription34 wrote:

You ordered it, regardless of the why, you ordered it, making it your responsibility. If you didn't want to order it, you should have stuck to your guns, but when you gave in, it became your responsibility. Next time, just stick to your no. At 23, you should have a backbone formed already.

PBnJaywalking wrote:

ESH. Your friends are not really your friends, but you should have told them before ordering that you won’t be paying for the drink. Yes they pressured you to cave, and that was wrong, but if you ordered it, you should have paid for it.

End the friendship but don’t owe these terrible people any money.

ZEMOSKE wrote:

NTA. Knowing your stance and pushing for 5 uncomfortable minutes, led to the outcome you were prepared for as I'm sure they did too. The least they can do is pay for it. Look at the bright side, I bet they won't ask you again 😂 no but seriously, they asked after being rejected so the least they can do is pay for it with the expectation not to ask you again.