'AITA for not paying to take my son’s girlfriend on vacation? They're both furious.'

"AITAH for not paying to take my son’s girlfriend on vacation?"

I have two sons (22 & 23). They both have serious girlfriends that they have been dating for over two years. Jordan’s girlfriend is an amazing young lady. She has a great head on shoulders, is sweet, smart, polite, good to my parents, responsible, and balances my son perfectly.

They make a great team. Tyler’s girlfriend is selfish, entitled, manipulative, and dislikes our family. She scares me (and the rest of the family and friends) with her behaviors. Both of my sons are in love and plan to marry these young ladies. I was divorced when both boys were in diapers so it has been the three of us for years. We are very close.

We have always traveled together. Jordan’s girlfriend has been on two trips with us that I paid for. Vegas for Jordan’s 21st and charity boat poker run on Lake Michigan. Both of these involved bars. Tyler’s girlfriend is 20 so she was not invited. She became angry that she was not invited. We (new husband of two years) own a vacation home on a lake. My husband planned a guys trip for week.

Tyler’s girlfriend got irate because she wanted to use the house that week (was the week before going back to college). Tyler has now informed me that his girlfriend will be invited on ALL trips and I will be expected to pay for her or he will not come. My husband has said she is not welcome at the vacation house (until she stops acting so entitled).

We were planning a family vacation to the Bahamas for Christmas. Per Jordan’s request I canceled the family trip, upgraded my husband and I into first class and a suite. Jordan thought the trip would be miserable with Tyler’s girlfriend. He wanted me to enjoy the trip. Tyler and his girlfriend are furious. AITAH for not paying to take my future DIL on vacation?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

honeypearlprincess wrote:

NTA. This isn’t about playing favorites, it’s about respecting boundaries and behavior. You’re not obligated to pay for anyone’s vacation. Jordan’s girlfriend has shown kindness, responsibility, and appreciation, so including her on trips feels natural. Tyler’s girlfriend, on the other hand, has been manipulative and demanding, it’s not unreasonable to say no to someone who behaves that way.

Honestly, if someone demands to be included or throws a fit when they’re not, that’s on them. Tyler’s ultimatum says more about him than you, he’s free to skip trips, but you’re free to set the terms for your own vacations. He can make his own decisions, but he doesn’t get to dictate yours, and you shouldn’t be guilted into funding someone who honestly, doesn’t even respect you.

enchantedforestglow wrote:

NTA. She’s not even family yet, and she’s already acting like this? LOL. You’re not obligated to fund her vacations, especially when she’s being so disrespectful to you and your husband. Tyler needs to wake up and realize this is not normal or acceptable behavior from a partner. You did the right thing by setting boundaries. Enjoy that first-class suite!

Big__It wrote:

NTA.

His GF was just expecting to use your vacation home (w/o asking)? Wtf is that.

I'd like to understand why she is a terrible person (outside of entitled). Like what has she done to acquire this title.

Tyler made a bet and you called his bluff and now he's all upset. However no person can expect the finances of others for themselves.

Fallen_Pedals wrote:

NTA! You shouldn't pay for someone who's ungrateful entitled and manipulative. If she dislikes the family why should you pay for that? I wouldn't. Definitely NTA. Someone who dislikes the family shouldn't be involved in "family vacations."

AugustWatson01 wrote:

NTA. Tyler has lost his mind with that demand. They would never get invited or their vacation paid for again. Just take other son and gf as they have manners and respect. T and entitled chick would have to pay for themselves if they want to go.

Maybe she’ll leave him to gold dig somewhere else if she find out they are cut off financially apart from therapy by specialist in emotionally ab-sive relationships and building self esteem for T.

EvilA1030109 wrote:

I'm sorry, but if my son ever said that to me, we'll let's just say he would definitely be missing out because no way in hell would I tolerate that behavior. None of my kids (3) would get by giving me ultimatums. If his partner ever acted that way, she wouldn't be welcome in my home either!

Goodzookeepergame826 wrote:

As parents you are allowed to spend your money on whatever and whomever you want. It’s deeper than that though, you need to explain that their behavior is unacceptable to you and you will not have a child dictating how and why you will schedule your free time and money. They can either shut up and pay for themselves or stay home and work on themselves. It’s really okay to say no.