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'AITA for not providing treat bags at my kid's party?' 'I'd already spent quite a bit of time and money.'

'AITA for not providing treat bags at my kid's party?' 'I'd already spent quite a bit of time and money.'


"AITA for not providing treat bags at my kid's party?"

My kid just had a birthday - she's still a toddler (**she turned 4, I've been informed this is no longer toddler lol) and so are all of the friends I invited, about 12 kids & their parents - so about 30 people in total.

We went to a fairly unique venue that cost me about $350 for 2.5 hours of activities, crafts etc. I also supplied the food (ordered from a pizza place) and made the cake and cupcakes from scratch, as well as some fruit, chips and juice.

Because of all this, I didn't feel like treat bags were necessary - I'd already spent quite a bit of time and money, they took crafts home from the party, and personally I feel like nobody needs a bag of plastic crap at the end of a party anyway. I'm also a single mom so doing all of this was already quite a lot of money on my own.

The kids had a great time, everyone loved the crafts and activities. At the end of the party one of the parents (that I don't know very well - our kids used to go to the same daycare) approached me and asked where the treat bags were. I stated I hadn't made any because they weren't really my jam.

She said it's a courtesy to make treat bags at a party and she always does them at her parties. I can't really remember what I said - something polite - but I was a bit shocked someone would have the balls to say that. I basically brushed it off/changed the subject.

Most parties we've gone to have had little treat bags to take home. They usually have a couple little dollar store items (the aforementioned "plastic crap") and a little halloween-size candy bar or something. They're never anything extravagant and I never expect that there will be some to take home.

Nobody else asked me about them, and some of my good friends that were in attendance said they didn't expect them either when I asked afterwards if I should have made some. So AITA for not also providing treat bags?


Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses, and their cool ideas of other things to do at a party besides goodie/treat bags! Lastly, I appreciate that so many people said treat bags are stupid lol. Let's all take a stand - NO MORE TREAT BAGS!

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

FruitcakeAndCrumb said:

She said it's courtesy to make treat bags at a party The fact that you didn't tell her to go f herself shows that you have more courtesy than me. Tell her to get bent NTA.

Dazzling_Soni said:

NTA. You threw an amazing party! Seriously, a venue, crafts, pizza, cake, cupcakes, snacks and drinks. That's incredible for a toddler party!

Those little goodie bags are usually a dollar store afterthought, and honestly, most of it ends up as clutter anyway. This other parent might be used to doing them, but you definitely don't have to. Especially as a single mom, you rocked that party.

MindlessDribble828 said:

Wow. That’s crazy. How old is your kid? Had you ever invited this parent to anything before? I definitely wouldn’t again, she sounds incredibly entitled and lacking in manners.

Treat bags are a waste. The party is for your child, not someone else’s kid. I’d be thrilled for my kid to be invited to a birthday, get fed and have fun and wouldn’t expect anything. NTA.

AubreyMitchell51 said:

NTA. You've singlehandedly raised the bar for what a toddler's birthday should be about: creating, playing, and making memories, not collecting cheap plastic knick-knacks that they'll forget about by the next day. You provided an experience, something far more valuable and meaningful.

The audacity of that parent to demand more from such a lovingly crafted day is beyond me. Treat bags? How about treating every child to a moment of genuine happiness instead? That’s a real gift. Stick to your guns, supermom!

fern5647 said:

NTA. I remember being a kid and the people in the area where I lived were all very close knit, the parents all had an agreement that "treat bags" would just be a few bits of leftover party food and a slice of birthday cake. We loved it because we got party food the day afterwards aswell - nobody wanted to spend money on the useless clutter, and nobody wanted it in their house!

FlippityFlappity13 said:

Definitely NTA. You provided a fabulous venue, tons of food, and an activity that resulted in them being able to take it home afterwards. That is a LOT, especially for a single mom and a toddler's birthday party.

When my daughter was a pre-schooler, she and I had been invited to her bff's bd party. It was at the child's home, and it was your basic hot dogs, ice cream, and cake deal. The kids played typical party games and about halfway through, a "special guest" arrived. It was a famous (at least in Canada - Fred Penner) children's entertainer.

He didn't sing or play guitar (which he was famous for), but he spent time with each child and autographed copies of one of his LPs that the parents had bought for each kid. No goodie bags in sight. So it was a relatively simple party with minimal expense for the parents (Fred didn't charge. He was there as a favor.)

Not at all as extravagant as you did for your lucky toddler. Not a single kid or parent asked about goodie bags. That parent was incredibly rude to ask about the goodie bags. Let's hope that her child takes after the other parent.

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