"AITA for not sending a wedding gift?"
So I am part of a friends group consisting of me and my partner, and couples I will refer to as couple A, B and C. So I have not been super close to couple C in the last few years compared to A and B but back in the day I was and introduced them to A and B. I am Facebook friends with all of them.
Couple C posted they were engaged and couples A and B offered to have an engagement party. Me and my partner were invited to that but we noticed couple C was somewhat cool to us. Okay that happens and we didn't give it much thought.
So Couple C announces they sent out invitations and if you didn't get one to let them know. We didn't get one so I let them know and got a curt "ok". They said they were going to hand deliver to those a certain day and would call. No response so I let them know and they once again said ok.
We later found out from Couple B that they decided not to invite us and were not happy we were invited to the engagement party. They didn't say why but we figured they no longer wanted to be friends.
We were okay about this but stayed Facebook Friends basically to see wedding photos (yeah I know, dumb). Imagine my surprise when I get an announcement after the wedding and then attacking us on Facebook for not sending gifts.
Apparently if you receive an announcement you are supposed to send a gift. I never heard this but another friend who does not know them said you should. I'm not sending a gift to a wedding I wasn't invited to unless there was a reason (like destination, or married at the courthouse). AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
sockpuppet7654321 said:
No. They didn't invite you. You weren't a part of any of this.
cthulularoo said:
That's not a thing. A gift is not even mandatory for attending the wedding. A gift is always optional otherwise it's a fee. NTA and I would keep the "if you receive the announcement, you have to send a gift" locked and loaded for these assholes when you don't invite to your wedding.
RaddishSlaw said:
NTA. However I am getting married soon and you are not invited but, please send the gifts now.
Hi_Im_Dadbot said:
NTA. They don’t invite you but expect you to send a gift?
NillaGorillaaa said:
NTA. No invite, no gift.
AmethystsinAugust said:
NTA. You shouldn't have been invited to the engagement party if they weren't inviting you to the wedding, and you aren't required to send a gift regardless.