'AITA for not separating drinks in a cooler? My neighbor said kids could've gotten drunk.'

"AITA for not separating drinks in a cooler?"

Last weekend I hosted a small barbecue at my house. I invited a few friends and some neighbors since the weather was nice. One of my neighbors brought their young kid who is about eight years old. I set out food, drinks, and a cooler with beer and soda. Everything was going fine until I noticed the kid had taken one of the beers from the cooler. I immediately took it away and told him that it was not for him.

The neighbor got upset and said I should not have put alcohol where kids could reach it. I was confused because the cooler was sitting on the patio next to the grill, clearly full of beer cans, and I did not expect an eight year old to just grab one without asking. I told the parent that they should be keeping an eye on their child. The parent got defensive and left early with the kid.

Now word has gotten around to some of the other neighbors and I feel like people are whispering about me being careless. I feel bad because I did not want anyone to feel uncomfortable at my house, but at the same time I do not think it was my responsibility to childproof everything when there were parents right there.

So AITA for not separating the beer cooler from the rest of the food at my barbecue or should the parent have been more responsible for watching their child?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Ok_Guest7053 wrote:

NTA. Even though I would personally separate beer from pop/juice/water. I would also make sure MY OWN kid is grabbing what they are supposed to be grabbing from coolers.

If parents think you had genuine bad intentions by not separating them, I wish they would’ve seen my parents growing up. my parents brought 1 water each for my sister and I, cooler FULL of beer and once our waters were gone we were allowed to put some ice in the bottles and let it melt for a drink.

vaporgate wrote:

NTA, they should have checked out the situation and handled their child accordingly. For future gatherings you might grab a second cooler to keep things separated if some people want something non-alcoholic, but it isn't your job to manage their children unless you expressly agreed to do so.

Did you even expect them to bring their child? Did they contribute any food or beverages to the gathering? Or did they just show up, let their kid do kid stuff, get mad and leave? If they want to kick back with the adults and not pay attention, they should probably not bring their young child next time.

The price of having kids is you have to pay attention or enlist someone who will do that for you. The host of the barbecue should not be expected to also be the babysitter.

Bubbly_Chicken_9358 wrote:

I would be mortified if my 8-year-old grabbed something from a cooler at a neighbor's house without asking first. My teenagers ask permission before grabbing something when we are visiting anyone, including family, and if they don't ask the host, they ask me. NTA, but I'm giving those parents some side-eye.

BorderlineTG wrote:

A neighbour's BBQ is not free childcare. They should have been watching their child. Rather than apologize for their child taking without asking, they tried to shift the blame to you. NTA.

MechanicLoose2634 wrote:

NTA - Parents need to parent. If the kid isn’t smart/wise enough to recognize the things he drinks, the parents should’ve attended to his needs before he attempted to fend for himself. Or maybe their reaction was just a cover to hide the fact that their 8yo regularly consumes beer at home.

Abject_Grapefruit558 wrote:

Was the kid the only child at the barbecue? If so, it seems kinda silly to have a separate cooler. If there were more kids, it might make sense to have a separate soda cooler, but even then, the parents need to be keeping at least a loose eye on their children.

Growing up, my parents entertained a lot, and many of their friends did as well. We were told, by our parents, which drinks were for us vs. the adults, and they weren’t necessarily in separate coolers. An 8 year old can read the word “beer,” “ale,” or “IPA” (or Lagunitas, Coors, Blue Moon, etc.) vs. Coke, Sprite, Dr Pepper, etc.

Of course my parents’ friends would’ve stepped in and taken a beer away if they’d seen us with one (as you did), but the onus was on the parents, not the hosts. It sounds like the parent realized they weren’t watching their child, was embarrassed by that, and lashed out and blamed you vs. taking responsibility and instructing their kid on what not to do. NTA.

Maleficent_Web_6034 wrote:

NTA - Anyone old enough to drink whatever they want without needing parental permission is old enough to read. Beyond that, beer is not appetizing unless you are used to the taste or desire the alcoholic effect. An 8 year old fits neither of those categories so something weird is going on there . This is 100% on the parents.

Commercial-Place6793 wrote:

A couple years back, my 8 year old nephew wandered off for a second and grabbed a white claw out of some random cooler while we were tailgating. It was half gone before his parents found him (like 10 minutes later). It wasn’t the other tailgater’s fault that happened. His parents should’ve had a closer eye on him. But it’s not that deep. S#$t happens.

egomaster6 wrote:

One Christmas i remember and dont remember. Spent Christmas eve at my grandparents and family. There was kids punch and grown ups punch. I didn't know this and drank from the adult punch all night long. I was told that I fell asleep at my grandparents and was the last to awake for Christmas morning. S#$t happens.

drossdragon wrote:

Would it be a nice thing to have alcoholic drinks separate from the non-alcoholic? sure. There are enough hard root beer/lemonade/spritzers that are easily confused for the non-hard versions that it’s easy for a kid to never notice the difference when they pick it up. Is it the parent’s responsibility to get drinks for their kid, absolutely. NTA.

Jane-Doe202 wrote:

NTA. Parents look after their kids. Or the surrounding adults. If you don't want to watch your kids, don't go, or go without them. When I was a kid, there were mixed coolers and no one blinked an eye. And I never (or other kids) went for alcohol.

UnicornVoodooDoll wrote:

NTA. My parents used to take us to work events and there would be Jell-O shots lying around on the picnic tables. It was their responsibility to tell us not to eat the yummy Jell-O. It was definitely not the responsibility of the organizer to make the event kid proof.