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'AITA for not sharing my multi-million dollar inheritance with my half-brother?' + MAJOR UPDATE

'AITA for not sharing my multi-million dollar inheritance with my half-brother?' + MAJOR UPDATE


"AITA for not sharing my inheritance?"

Here's the original post:

So bit of background, I was a BIG oops. My bio-mom was a wealthy woman who apparently never wanted marriage or kids. She met my dad at a work event (same job type, different locations, not sharing specifics for anonymity) and they started seeing each other casually for a few months and then boom, her pill, the condom, and the plan b all failed to stop me from existing.

My mother was going to abort me but my father begged her not to because he was actually MARRIED and was told his wife only had like a 1% chance of ever carrying a baby to term.

She agreed only on the stipulation that she can give me up, no visitation, no parenting, nothing but child support and he and his wife reached an agreement and took me under the ruse she'd raise me as HER biological daughter. Needless to say I never met my bio-mom. But it doesn't get any better for me from there.

My step mom actually ended up having a miracle about a year after I was born. A son. My brother has NEVER treated me any different and I love him dearly but I could always tell I was never my parents priority. I more or less just kind of existed to be seen, never heard or really acknowledged unless it was something for the "family".

When I turned 13 I got the opportunity to meet my bio-grandma (mom's mom). She had no idea I existed and petitioned for visitation. I loved it so much with her that I asked if I could live with her. My dad and stepmom seemed happy to be rid of me and accepted. My bio-mom never visited her mom anyway (a rift over her not settling down and having kids). Well that was 6 years ago.

My bio-mom just died a month ago and surprisingly left EVERYTHING she owned to me with the stipulation that I go to school for business and better myself (according to her letter that the lawyer and trustee told me about). This is life changing money I'm talking I went from lowest middle class (grandma left everything to me, but it wasn't alot, just the house and a couple thousand) to a multimillionaire.

Now my dad and stepmom are on my case to share the money. I have no idea how they found out as grandma passed last year (right after I graduated, it was her dream to see me graduate and she had been sick for a few years) and the only person I talk to is my brother but I never even told him.

Apparently they don't have the money to send him to an ivy league school like they've always wanted, but money is no longer an object for ME. I know they raised me for 13 years, but this money could really change my life. AITA if I don't share it?

What do you think? AITA if she doesn't share her massive inheritance with her half-sibling? This is what top commenters had to say:


don’t give them money, maybe set something up with a lawyer like a trust for your brother to use for only school, this way money can’t be withdrawn from it. They have proven they only want the money NTA.


After reading the edits, I’m glad everything worked out OP! But what does worry me is how the greedy “male sperm donor” found out about your inheritance in the first place?

[deleted] said:

NTA. As stated in comments before, the possibility of helping might not even be there. Your bio-mom sounds like a strong business leader which would make me believe that she would stipulate that the money goes to improving you and your education. Not the spawn of a guy she slept with once upon a time that she has no relation to.

You said your brother never treated you any differently and I'm sure you would love to help him. Your parents want to send him to an Ivy league school but how about asking him what he wants to do. Also if they want your help require a certain gpa like scholarships do.

bawbness said:

NTA - 1 you might not even be able to depending on the trust I’d try to see if the trust lawyer is willing to be the bad guy and say it’s just not possible (and it may actually not be) 2 - it’s your money full stop.

You do what you believe is right with it. Full stop it’s up to you. I don’t think you’d be an asshole for any particular choice and I could see a lot of choices open to you. Enjoy a world of choices! Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys options.

Commenters agreed: NTA. And most urged her to protect her money and not succumb to pressure from her parents.

She later shared this update:

I'm not sure about the protocol of an update but I have one. I made an appointment to see the lawyer and trustee handling my bio-mom's estate. So the gist of the meeting ended with them telling me that how my mother wrote her will, in order for the inheritance to TRULY be mine, I have to go to business school.

So I couldn't even give money to my dad and stepmom even if I wanted to, which, thanks to all of you, I learned I have no moral obligation to do and WON'T be doing. Plus, I talked to my brother and he doesn't even WANT to go to an ivy league school, he wants to go to art school and dad and stepmom REFUSE to pay for it.

I offered to him that after I complete my business degree, which I'm going to do, I would be MORE than happy to pay for his art school. He graciously accepted and told our dad and it did NOT go well. They have threatened to disown him. They apparently want him to be a lawyer or doctor or something with a high salary so he can "take care of them" I guess.

They had a massive blow out fight and he is now moving out of their house and into mine. While he's still in highschool, he is TECHNICALLY 18 now so I'm not sure if I'll get in trouble with the police, but I wasn't about to let my brother live in the streets! I've been driving him to and from school while still working until I can register for business school. Thank you to all who commented and offered advice!

Then, a year later, OP shared this second update and it's pretty wild:

Not sure if anyone still care since it's been over a year but I still get messages so I'll provide an update. Last I updated my brother moved in with me and my dad and stepmom were PISSED to say the least.

They did try calling the police but once he showed his id being he's 18 they pretty told my parents there's nothing they can do. They upped the ante and started harassing me at my house and eventually my workplace until I threatened them with legal action.

They've sent letters ranging from wanting to reconcile to blaming me for stealing their child to begging for money and back to angry rants. Not sure what happened to the somewhat neglectful parents who left me to my own devices but I never thought I'd miss "them" as opposed to the parents who won't leave us alone. I've gone no contact for the foreseeable future as has my brother.

Speaking of, my brother is doing great! He's got a part time job right now and he's doing school part time at a local community college to get some gen eds out of the way. I'm about 6 months out from earning my bachelor's degree in business administration. I'm debating a masters but I'm just trying to get this done as fast as possible so I can send my brother to art school!

I also entered the dating scene and have been going steady with my boyfriend for the past 9 months! Definitely looking like marriage material and we've already discussed and agreed upon a prenup so no worries there! Aside from my annoying parents, things are looking great for us! Unless my parents do something drastic I doubt I'll update again. Thanks everyone for reading.

Sources: Reddit
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