'AITA for not taking care of my BF's pets?' 'He got 6 chickens and 2 goats.'

"AITA for not taking care of my BF's pets after I told him I wouldn’t?"

My BF has wanted to get chickens and goats for years, I’ve always told him that he could if he wanted to but I wouldn’t be helping him with them. I work full time, I do all the cooking and cleaning and care taking of our current pets (4 cats and 3 large dogs, two of which are elderly and one that’s diabetic) and I’m not interested in taking on more.

I've made this clear to him, that if he got more animals they would be his sole responsibility. We live on 1/3 of an acre in the suburbs, I don’t think this is enough room for them and I’ve told him that.

Well he got 6 chickens and 2 goats. So far he’s been the one taking care of them but he recently had to travel for work and be gone for 4 days. He asked if I would take care of them and I said no, and when he asked what he was supposed to do I told him to hire a pet sitter or something, basically to figure it out. Well he leaves for his work trip and texts me a list of what to do for his chickens and goats while he’s away.

I called someone that’s petsit for us before and ask if she’d be interested. She agreed for an extra fee because it’s last minute and that’s a lot of animals. I sent her his list and paid her rate up front from my boyfriend’s “fun money” account (I’m on his accounts because I also do the bills and budgeting).

It came to $475 plus I tipped her $50 so $525. He called me pissed off saying I should have either taken care of them or used my own money and he expects me to pay him back (I refused).

Maybe I shouldn’t have just used his money without saying anything, for that I think I may be the ahole. AITA for using my boyfriend’s money to pay a pet sitter for his animals without his knowledge or consent?

Here's what OP had to say about this one:

DawnShakhar said:

NTA. He dumped the animals on you without asking, you were justified in using his money for their care without asking. Frankly, it's not clear to me why you are still with this controlling, manipulative, petulant jerk.

FartMasterChamp said:

NTA. Why did you do everything around the house and with the animals before he got these new animals? You don't see the problem here? That he makes you so EVERYTHING? While he sits back and relaxes? Why are you being this guy's maid?

KronkLaSworda said:

NTA. You warned him that you weren't going to take care of them and he made you a to-do list anyway when he left. He should have listened. Stick to your guns and tell him that this expense will continue to come out of his fun money account and not your shared account or your personal account.

Pets fall under the umbrella of "It takes 2 yes answers for a yes and 1 no answer for a no." Like having in-laws move in, having kids, or trying a threesome.

DenizenKay said:

NTA. You made clear boundaries. You already do the vast majority of the work around the house and for the animals you agreed to have. Frankly, now he can understand the actual value of what he was demanding that you do for him.

It's crazy you're not losing your shit over the fact that he left and then texted you directions, thinking he won by muscling you into a corner and either leaving the animals to go untended/hungry or taking care of them. He's a real piece of work, this guy.

Street-Length9871 said:

NTA - and love this. It was a perfect solution to his problems. Maybe next time he will listen to your words before he gets 6 chickens and 2 goats.

2agood said:

NTA - pets are a two-party consent in my opinion. He got them without your agreement or approval, 100% his responsibility.