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AITA 'stealing attention' at my cousin's wedding by having an allergic reaction? UPDATED

AITA 'stealing attention' at my cousin's wedding by having an allergic reaction? UPDATED


"AITA for not checking with the bride about my allergy thrice?"

Hello everyone. English is not my first language so there may be some errors. Apologies. It was my cousins wedding a couple days ago. I am allergic to peanuts so 2 days before the wedding I asked her if there were any dishes served that had peanuts in it so that I could avoid eating that. She told me she'll check with the caterers and inform me on the day of the wedding.

Fast forward on the day I asked her which dishes had the nut in it and she told me non of them did. After lunch I start to feel my throat closing in and my skin itching. Thankfully I had my EpiPen with and and stabbed it into my thigh. All this had attracted quite the attention and people were surrounding me. I was fine but went to the hospital just to be safe.

I later got texts from the bride and her siblings how it was incredibly selfish of me to steal the attention from the bride and a bunch of cuss words. My family thinks it was her who endangered my life and should apologize. She says I should have just sucked it up. I was sure I wasn't in the wrong but now I'm not so sure. So reddit am I the a$$hole?

Edit: so many people have asked why I waited till the last 2 day to ask her and I did that because my whole family knows I'm allergic to peanuts and during occasional gatherings I'll ask or they'll tell me if something they prepared had peanuts or was prepared in a utensil that had traces of it i.e cross contamination. I didn't want her to change her menu for me and would've eaten nothing if there weren't anything.

I don't mind cuz I don't want to inconvenience people just because of me and have her plan hereby around me. Also in our culture we don't really have RSVPs AND especially those that ask about your allergies lol. I just avoid eating when I go to wedding that aren't my close friends or familys.

Also I couldn't possibly ask the caterers as the teenage boys and girls of the family serve the food which was arranged by the caterers.

RomeoAndOubliette said:

"She says I should have just sucked it up." And ... died? lol. Yeah this is 100% her fault, NTA.

[deleted] said:

NTA, but you shouldn’t have waited until 2 days before the wedding to notify them of your allergy. What would you have done if the answer was all of them?

And if you have such a strong allergic reaction, you really need to be more careful with how you approach eating at events like this. It’s up to you to do due diligence on the food as well. You should have asked the wait staff to check the food that you were being served and not taken the word of a more than likely stressed and busy bride on the day of her wedding.

WolfGoddess77 said:

NTA. Wow, how selfish of you to steal the spotlight with your anaphylactic shock. Maybe next time, leave your allergies at home. Jesus, some people... Peanut allergies can be life-threatening. You had no other choice but to use your EpiPen. You informed her of your allergy twice, and were given false information. This isn't on you in any way.

lilbearr said:

NTA. You asked twice and your cousin told you nothing had nuts in it - she obviously didn't check. You didn't have an allergic reaction intentionally and it's not something you can just "suck up" so your family can apologize to you or you just have to let it go but in no scenario are you in the wrong.

Verdict: NTA.


Anyways on to the update I contacted my aunt (brides mother) because I couldn't reach her (she blocked me?) and asked her what really happened because it midst of all this I wasn't really sure if it was the caterers problem or if she simply didn't check (some people also told me to sue her if that was the case). Turns out she did and the food the caterers prepared actually didn't contain peanuts OR traces of it.

What happened was they had ordered desserts from elsewhere annnnnnd....yeah she forgot to ask them. When she realized what happened after I went to the hospital I guess she thought people will blame her? So she went to offense mode? I'm not sure still. Her mum is sort of old fashioned so she again asked me if I couldn't have controlled it lol.

I guess that's all for now. My cousin told some of the family members that I had made a mountain out of a small rash which is why they went against me I guess? I'm still confused TBH. Some of the stories don't add up. ANYWAYS.

So the people who told me that going to the hospital after using an epipen is a MUST, Thank you. I truly did not know that and my doctor told me to go "just in case". Also we don't have RSVPs in our culture. I'm not from the west.

This was also my first allergic reaction as I have been avoiding peanuts since the day I found out I couldn't eat it and thankfully hadn't consumed it accidentally so I may have a panicked a little and couldn't do the EpiPen thingy quietly. This may not be perfect update but yeah. I'm not mad at my cousin about the allergic reaction but how she blamed me later on :)

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