'AITA for only letting my sister tag along on our Disney vacation if she babysits?'
"AITA for only letting my sister tag along our Disney vacation if she babysits some nights?"
I'm married with a 4 and a 6 year old. I have a sister who is 24. She graduated from college and got a decent first job but got laid off about a year ago and has been living with my parents since. I think she may have had some service industry jobs here and there but generally hasn't worked much in the last year. My wife and I have good jobs but try to be relatively frugal because kids are expensive.
My wife and I are planning a trip to Disney with my SIL (wife's sister) and her husband, and their 5 year old. My wife and her sister are very close and her husband and I are decently good friends these days.
My sister heard about this trip and is really clammoring to go with us. We never went to Disney growing up and she said she's wanted to go forever and really wants to go with us and the kids. She however would not be able to pay her way for the flight/ticket/ and all that.
We'd expect to sponsor her it would all in all cost us about 1k. My wife and I talked about it and decided it would be worth it to us if she would help babysit some of the nights so we could have some just adult time. So we offered her this, thinking it was generous but a win win for all of us.
Long story short she felt otherwise, and said were trying to take advantage of her and treat her as a nanny not family. I think this is kinda ridiculous as she's not my kid, so in my mind there's no reason to pay for her just because if she's not doing anything to be helpful. Would like some feedback from neutral parties if I'm asking too much.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MissSuzieSunshine said:
Oh wow, Nope NTA. She doesnt have the ability to fund her own trip and to expect you (not her parents) to fund her trip (when she is the one who has asked to go with you, you didnt invite her) for free is pretty ballsy.
Asking her to 'pay her way' by babysitting a couple of nights is very generous imho. You said it would cost you about $1k to add her, she would need to babysit the 3 kids for minimum 6 hours each night for 5 nights to make that amount. (= $11/child/hour for 6 hours x 5 nights or $200/night x 5 nights). Yeah, I wouldnt take her for any reason, now, due to her entitlement.
TemptingPenguin369 said:
NTA. If I were unemployed, I'd take that deal in a heartbeat! Imagine being an unemployed 24-year-old and thinking another adult should treat you to a Disney trip.
DragonScrivner said:
Dude, NTA. Your sister is living on a different planet if she used words like “taking advantage of” when speaking to people she expects to give her a free trip for no reason at all Wowwwww lol.
lostalldoubt86 said:
NTA - You generously offered to give her an all-expenses paid trip to Disney. She is upset because you aren't willing to do that for nothing. Maybe she should spend less time mooching off of everyone in her life and more time applying for full-time employment. I lives with my parents into my late 20s, but I also had 2 part-time jobs and spent all of my free time applying for a job with benefits.
Pink_lady-126 said:
NTA...I would tell her since she's unhappy with the "nanny" treatment, then you will revert to the "Sister" treatment instead, which means you're not required to pay a single dime for her to do anything cause she's not your kid and not your responsibility.
"Nanny" treatment = get to go to Disney all expenses paid with brother and his family; "Sister" treatment = on your own for Disney and any related expenses. Seems an easy choice to me.
UnfortunateDaring said:
NTA - reasonable request when someone asks for you to pay for a vacation for them. That’s pretty entitled for her to shame you for it.