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'AITA for publicly humiliating my friend after ruining her relationship?' MAJOR UPDATE

'AITA for publicly humiliating my friend after ruining her relationship?' MAJOR UPDATE

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"AITA for publicly humiliating my friend after ruining her relationship?"

Context: I'm (18F), my (ex?) friend, Sasha (18F), and I have been best friends since we were 12, recently, things have been tense because of her new boyfriend, Tim (19M). We are in high school - Tim is older cause of the weird cutoff in American schools. Sasha has been dating Tim for about three months, I was happy for her at first. But Tim has always given me weird vibes.

He’d text me randomly on snap, asking personal questions like what my plans were for the weekend, if I was seeing anyone, or wanting to play Truth or Dare with me?? (No idea what that meant) I told Sasha about it, but she brushed it off, saying he was just trying to get to know her friends. I decided to let it go because I didn’t want to seem like I was overreacting or being 'pick-me.' Three days ago, things got weird.

Tim sent me another message on snap late at night, saying, and I quote "I need you so bad" and "All I think about it you.” Plus some other less favorable things. He then asked me to hang out at his place “just us” to hook up. I was so shocked and immediately took screenshots on my Ipad. I didn’t respond (I side swiped), yesterday I went to Sasha and told her everything.

She got angry at me. She accused me of making up the whole thing to sabotage their relationship because I’m "jealous." She even said the screenshots I showed her were fake and that I “must’ve photoshopped them.” I tried to explain that I had no reason to do that and even offered to show her the messages directly on my phone but she refused to look.

She kept saying Tim “would never do something like that” and that I was "trying to make her life miserable." She stormed off, but it didn’t stop there. She sat at a different lunch table than me and was telling all our mutual friends that I was obsessed with Tim and was trying to steal him.

Now people are calling me a horrible friend and my worst nightmare- a pick-me. I’m getting high-key horrible texts from people telling me I owe Sasha an apology for “ruining her relationship” and “being a liar.” Ive chosen not to respond to them Tim hasn’t even denied sending the messages.

He apparently told Sasha that I must’ve misunderstood and that he was just trying to test my loyalty as her best friend. I feel like I’m losing my mind because she BELIEVES HIM. So I went to my Snapchat, screenshotted everything Tim had sent me, including his weird messages at the start of their relationship, and uploaded it to my snap story that only Sasha and our mutual friends could see.

This was an hour ago and I haven't touched my phone since-but its blowing up. Kinda nervous to look at it. I might've gone a bit far but AITA for all of this? I don't see how a loyalty test could make sense or why Sasha didn't believe me.

The comments quickly came rolling in.

Outrageous-Farmer-42 wrote:

I tried to save my bestie from being engaged to a cheater and showed proof but she was thinking with her hormones and not her brain. She then ruined my reputation with lies. Her boyfriend then blatantly backed me up but claimed he was just testing my loyalty instead of being an infidel. But she continued to show she was brainless.

So, I showed our other friends the proof.

AITA? What type of trauma did you go through as a kid that makes you think that? Did you make this story up for Internet points?

nuxvomica14 wrote:

She's knows you haven't done anything wrong, she's looking for someone to blame because she refuses to accept that her boyfriend would do that to her. Pretty deranged considering she has proof. I think you did the right thing making the screenshots public, especially since no one believes you.

Also, I would start looking for new mates. It doesn't seem like these people care about your feelings. I'm sorry that really sucks, but you deserve friends who love you ❤️

Concertinaterpsichor wrote:

You were in a no-win situation. THEY put you in a no-win situation. When someone disrespects and lies to you like this, the truth, the complete truth is the only thing that might help. There’s a concept called “keeping your side of the street clean.” In conflicts, sometimes the only thing you can control are your own actions.

You do what you think is right and just and kind, you don’t lie, and you keep going on that way. No matter what happens, or what kind of fallout is going on, you know in your heart of hearts that you’ve done the right thing. Your side of the street is clean, and you can be proud of that.

braingenius5686 wrote:

Sasha doesn't sound like best friend material. Who starts spreading rumors about their best friend??? NTA but I want an update on what your mutual friends are saying now.

A couple days later, OP shared an update.

Its been a couple days since the 'incident.' But wanted to let you guys know whats been happening. After I posted the story with all of Tim’s messages, my phone blew up. Like, I’ve never had so many notifications in my life. Most of our mutual friends were messaging me in shock. A few apologized for believing Sasha and said they had no idea Tim was like this.

A couple of people even told me they’d noticed Tim being weird or flirty with other girls before, but they didn’t want to get on Sasha's bad side by saying anything. So apparently, this guy has a history. Also on top of that, I always knew Sasha had a bit of a temper and sometimes overreacts. I never thought it'd be a big deal though or was a red flag.

Anyways–The weirdest part is that Sasha still tried to defend him. She texted me this long, angry message saying I’d “vi-lated her trust” by telling everyone their private drama and that Tim was “joking” in his messages to me. She even fully said, “You should’ve come to me instead of trying to humiliate me.”


Which like…I DID go to her?

I told her flat out that I didn’t post the story to humiliate anyone—I posted it because she and Tim were spreading lies about me. AND there’s literally NO WAY to “misunderstand” a text like “I need you so bad.”

Apparently, a few of Sasha’s other friends got involved and confronted Tim directly. One of them added me to a group chat and said, “You’re not the first girl he’s done this to.” Turns out, Tim has a pattern of sending these kinds of messages to other girls while dating someone. He’s even tried to slide into the DMs of one of Sasha’s old friends.

When Sasha found out about that incident a while back, Tim convinced her it was a “misunderstanding,” just like he’s doing now.

Also found out that Tim didn't miss the cut off, so even though we are of age he is still like supposed to be in college.

I feel bad for Sasha because it’s clear Tim has manipulated her, but I’m done trying to help someone who refuses to see the truth. She’s still with him, by the way. Sasha's blocked me on everything, and in return I blocked Tim on everything. Thanks for listening guys.

The comments kept coming.

Same_Employment_2457 wrote:

You already tried to approach the situation privately first, and you were being transparent about the truth. It’s not your fault if Sasha isn’t ready to hear it or if she's still stuck in her relationship with Tim. Sometimes, people are blinded by love or fear, and no matter how much you try to warn them, they won’t see it until they’re ready.

Sasha may be upset now, but if she’s choosing to stay with Tim, she’ll eventually come to terms with the truth on her own. You’ve done what you could to help, and now it’s up to her to figure out how to move forward. Don’t feel bad for calling out what was wrong, and don’t let her manipulate your emotions either.

Capital-Village-7562 wrote:

Sasha is delusional. You went to her and showed you the messages and tried to discuss this with her as concern. She not only didn't believe you she spread that you were the s--tstirrer.

You corrected that by showing the messages and allowing people to see your side of the story, that she was manipulating. People have rightly not only apologised to you but have come forward and told you this is part of a wider pattern.

Unfortunately this has cost you your friendship. She is choosing to believe his lies over you and that's fine. She is no friend to you anymore. Do not feel bad this isn't the first time a guy has come between two friends. Go live your life but her in the rearview and forget all about her. But when she comes crying back just tell her the damage is done and you've moved on.

ragadast335 wrote:

NTA, you tried to warn her, she blames you and refuses to check the evidence. She tried to manipulate people to believe that you're a liar, and she refuses to see the truth. It's going to be a sad ending for her, because he will break her heart, but you can't help her if she doesn't want it. You've done want you could.

Krischacookie wrote:

Yikes, what a mess! Honestly, it sounds like you did what you had to do. It's wild that Sasha is still defending Tim after everything that's come out. You tried to be upfront with her, and if Tim's track record is anything to go by, you probably saved a few more people from dealing with his nonsense.

It sucks that Sasha has blocked you, but sometimes you have to cut ties for your own peace. Hang in there, and remember, you did the right thing by not letting lies slide! 🌟

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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