Mom asks if she’s wrong for deciding to divorce husband after realizing she doesn’t need him. AITA?
"AITA for realizing that I don't need my husband?"
No_Path_4736
So this year, my husband and I decided to each have one week of vacation with friends, without family. I went to my vacation first and it went really well and I had a great time. Then I returned home and it was my husband's turn to leave for vacation and that's when things started.
We have 3 kids together(F14, M11, F1). On the first day that my husband left, My oldest got into an accident on her way home from her class, both of her feet were broken, along with a few other bones in her body.
Then my son got sick, to the point that he had to be hospitalized. He wasn't in any serious danger but he still had to be hospitalized because he needed care. Then my youngest's babysitter got sick and informed me that she is taking the week off. I tried to find a new babysitter but I found no one.
At one point I started to cry because of how overwhelmed I was and called my husband and asked him to forget about the damn vacation and just come home because we need him.
He got mad and called me unreasonable because I got to enjoy my vacation but I won't let him enjoy his for a few days. He snapped at me to handle it myself because he is burnt out and will not return home even one minute sooner than he is supposed to and hung up the phone.
So that's what I did. I did everything myself, and I managed it. I was miserable and tired the entire time but I managed it. In that week I realized that I don't really need my husband.
I mean his absence was hardly noticed and as time passed I just started to feel cold towards him. The children were very fine as well and they never even asked about their dad or missed him.
When he finally returned he found all of his stuff, packed in suitcases, at the door. He asked what this is and I told him that this week made me realize that I don't need him. I'm officially ready to become a single mom. He called me a maniac and asked if I'm serious.
I said absolutely. He said the kids would probably have something to say about this. I said let's see and announced to the kids that their dad is home. Their answers were "hmmmm ok" and "good for him". Neither was enthusiastic.
I told my husband he needs to leave and I will send him the divorce papers later. He called me an asshole but left and now I'm getting texts from his family telling me I'm making a huge mistake.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Turbulent_Ebb5669
NTA. It was the cold water your life needed. 2 children needing medical care and no babysitter, but you're interrupting his vacation?
Ferin_Official
NTA. Your husband's actions during a family crisis speak volumes about his priorities and commitment to you and your children. of course you'd question the need for him in your life after he chose a vacation over supporting you during such a difficult time.
Lazy_Lingonberry5977
Men are always saying that women need them for "protection", but every time the family or her really needs them to step up they dropped the ball. I don't know what type of protection they have in mind, like fighting a burglar or something like that. The real protect is this.
Running to your family in an emergency, take things out of your wife shoulders, make the kids feel safe. He managed to do nothing! I can't believe he didn't return right away. She didn't even have to asked for it. NTA. He worked hard on making himself not dependable.
Mundane_Oddity
NTA! His own child had multiple bones broken, and he didn't even flinch?!? The other child needed to be hospitalized and still not enough to come home? I'm already divorced, but if my child is in either situation, my ex-husband better come home from wherever he is, or he's not seeing his child again!
When I started reading, I thought "oh Honey, that's not your husband, that better be your future ex-husband. You took care of that already. Good for you!
Fabulous_Norma
No, you are not the AH in this situation. Your husband demonstrated a shocking lack of support and empathy during an incredibly difficult time for you and your children. It's completely understandable that you've come to the realization that you don't need him in your life.
welcoming_sleepy00
NTA. It sounds like you were tested by fire and came out realizing you're more self-sufficient than you thought. While it’s great to discover your own strength, the real issue here seems to be the lack of support when you really needed it.
A partnership means showing up for each other, especially during the tough times—not just when it’s convenient. If his reaction to your distress call was to hang up, it’s understandable why you’d reassess the relationship.
Maybe his suitcase at the door was a bit dramatic, but it sounds like a wake-up call was needed. Maybe next time he’ll think twice before prioritizing relaxation over real life emergencies.