'AITA for refusing to babysit my niece at the last minute?'
"AITA for refusing to babysit my niece at the last minute?"
I work full time and recently started taking evening classes to finish my degree. My schedule is packed, and I rely on my evenings to study or attend classes. My sister Emily has a four year old daughter named Lila. I love my niece and I’ve babysat her many times when she asks in advance.
Last week Emily called me about an hour before my class to ask if I could watch Lila for a few hours. She said she and her husband both had work emergencies. I told her I had an important class that evening which included a review session for an upcoming exam. I apologised but said I couldn’t miss it and she would need to figure something else out.
Emily ended up calling our mom, who was able to go over and watch Lila. Now she is upset with me and says I was selfish for not helping when she really needed it. She said she would not have asked unless it was a real emergency. My mom also mentioned that I could have made it work since Emily has a lot on her plate with her job and being a mom.
I feel bad for saying no but I also feel like I had a valid reason. AITA to stick to my plans instead of helping her?
Let's see what readers thought:
galagu7 writes:
NTA. You have priorities that are extremely important for you. People accuse others of being "selfish" when in fact, they are being incredibly selfish themselves by putting their needs ahead of someone else's.
Your sister is presumptive that her priorities mean as much to you as they do to her. They don't, nor should they. You are not hired help nor do you have time to step in. A "work emergency" is her problem.
Either way...your mom was available so you sister has exactly ZERO reason to be mad at you. She's a selfish AH, IMO.
apg8 writes:
Sister needs to find an emergency sitter that’s not family. Like many working parents. Point out cost of your class plus time involved and see how equal that is to couple hours of sisters pay.
You are not obligated to help your sister, you can point out to your mom how disappointed you are in her not supporting your education so you can become a self supporting, independent adult.
Parents are huge on dumping that they are disappointed in you. Emily made her choices to have a child and work, you made your choices to go to school. It was not a life or death emergency your mom needs to support both her children not just one. NTA.
ploty writes:
NTA, it was last minute and you already had a commitment. Make sure they realize that it was a commitment, not plans that you could adjust to help them out. It sounds like you work as well, take classes, but because you don’t have a child you aren’t busy, and I am sorry you are in that situation.
They other thing, since they both had emergencies at work and needed a sitter ASAP, they were in a pinch and your Mom was able to help them, why is your sister upset with you? It’s not like she didn’t have a sitter, and it was your mother, why she is even making an issue of it makes her an AH.
finsta writes:
You are absolutely NTA. Getting the education that you need for your own happy future is hard enough without entitled family demanding that you cut class. You clearly take this very seriously and conscientiously + you're approaching finals? No way, Sis!
I have so much respect for all your efforts! Just out of curiosity, can you share what line of work you're sister and BIL are in? I didn't see it mentioned and I'm nosy.
proap writes:
NTA. Your sister had no right to scold you for sticking to your plans. I say this as a mom who also has a 4 year old and is an active member of a Search and Rescue team who responds to emergency calls at the last minute.
If my husband is away, I make the calls and respect "no"s then move on to the next potential babysitter. No hard feelings; people have lives. She should have respected and accepted that you were not available. Even if she was stressed, reprimanding you afterward was uncalled for.