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'AITA for refusing to babysit my sibling’s kids on my one day off? My mental health needs rest.'

'AITA for refusing to babysit my sibling’s kids on my one day off? My mental health needs rest.'

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"AITAH for refusing to babysit my sibling’s kids on my one day off?"

At age 28 I work hard at my job which needs many hours of work and gives me only one full day off each week. My day off serves as my special time to recharge by both finishing my daily tasks and engaging in enjoyable activities.

My sibling who is 33 years old has three kids aged 7, 5 and 2.

Several weeks earlier he demanded if I could babysit his children for a couple hours on my day off because he and his wife wanted to spend time together. Helping my nieces and nephew bring me joy so I happily agreed to their care. Their request for a quick babysitting turned into a full day so I finished drained and unable to complete my plans.

This week, he asked me again. I told my brother I required my day off for personal rest. He lost his temper by accusing me of putting myself first with his response of “family helps family.” Tell them beforehand whenever they need extended help because this day belongs to me.

My parents took his side because as an adult without children they feel I fail to grasp how much work supporting your own family entails. They expect me to contribute because I am available for tasks. I am just trying to keep myself together instead of filtering my response to his direct attack. AITAH for prioritizing my own mental health and refusing to babysit?

The internet had OP's back all the way.

ChemicalGuava650 wrote:

Bro, he literally thinks you're going to take care of his kids on your only day off? There are babysitters who will take care of that, he wants to spend time with his wife and you want to spend free time to recharge, the solution is simple, he can't act like a child because you've told him no hahaha.

Raffeal wrote:

NTA. You’re not obliged to help your brother here. Why is his time alone with his wife more important than yours? It makes no sense. As to your parents are an adult so you can thank them for sharing their opinion, smile and then do what you want smiling all The while. You can also tell them you want your own life, possibly your own family and you need time for that.

I’m guessing you are a girl in the family and this is the usual nonsense put upon girls. Don’t put up with it. If you’re not a girl don’t put up with it either but sexism is possibly the basis for this.

Enjoy your day off, make the most of your life you deserve it 😀

Clear_Emotion_8236 wrote:

These type of threads annoy the shit out of me. DON'T HAVE 3 KIDS IF IT'S INCONVENIENT TO YOUR LIFESTYLE !!!!! NTA. You chose to work hard and deserve your day off. If your brother and his wife need a weekly carer, they need to pay for one. Better still, get your parents to do it since they are happy to throw you under the bus.

EnchantedLollidream wrote:

You’re NTA. You’ve already helped your sibling before, and their “couple of hours” turned into a full day, which was inconsiderate. Your day off is your time to recharge, and setting boundaries for your mental health is completely reasonable.

Helping family is great, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your own well-being. Your sibling needs to respect that you’re not obligated to use your limited free time to take on their responsibilities, especially without proper communication or consideration.

daydreamer19861986 wrote:

Your brother chose to have three children not you. It's literally not your problem. Its nice to help out when/if you feel like it but it isn't something you have to do. Again those are his kids, not your problem. Sounds like your parents are happy to babysit if they took his side 🤷‍♀️

loudturtlenoises wrote:

NTA. It sounds like you're in a tough situation, balancing the needs of your family and your own well-being. You’re not the asshole here. You work hard, and your one day off is essential for your mental and emotional health. You deserve that time to recharge, especially if your job demands a lot from you.

It’s understandable that your sibling wants help with the kids, but they shouldn’t be pushing your boundaries, especially since they’ve already seen how exhausting it was for you the last time.

Family does help each other, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your well-being for it, especially when you’ve already set a boundary.Your parents supporting you is a sign that they understand the importance of taking care of yourself.

It's not selfish to protect your time and energy, and in fact, it makes you better able to help others when you’re feeling recharged. You’ve been clear with your brother, and that’s all you can do. If he’s angry about it, that’s his response to manage—not yours. In short, you’re NTA for wanting to prioritize your mental health. It’s a healthy boundary that anyone should be able to respect.

No_Text_4500 wrote:

I don't care if you have kids or not, only having one day off is already exhausting. You need that time. Id just block them all for a while. Nta. Also, I have kids. And my husband travels for work, and is gone most the time. I couldn't fathom demanding ANYONE to do anything for my kids. That's insane. Absolutely insane. Seriously, if they're wigging out on you and harassing you, block them for a few weeks.

WillLoveCoffee4Ever1 wrote:

NTA! If your brother thinks you put yourself first, you did and GOOD! You're supposed to. If they want time alone, they can hire a babysitter. If they can't watch their own kids, then perhaps they need to learn how to use birth control.

Their babysitting issues and probably wanting go get laid without the kids in the house, is not your problem. They took advantage of you the time before and lied to you. Your parents can babysit them and then if they have a problem with it, hang up. I'll assume you live on your own. Better yet, don't answer the phone and block them on those days.

Sources: Reddit
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