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'AITA for refusing to be my friend’s alibi so he can cheat on his GF?' UPDATED 7X

'AITA for refusing to be my friend’s alibi so he can cheat on his GF?' UPDATED 7X

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What's more important: bro code, or being a good person?

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a guy asked whether he should help his friend cheat or not. He wrote:

"AITA for refusing to be my friend’s alibi so he can cheat on his GF?"

I (M21) have known my friend Matt (M21) since we started college. We're in the same program and have been roommates since day 1. Overall, I'd say Matt is a great guy; however, he has a terrible tendency to cheat. Throughout college, I think Matt had 5-7 different girlfriends, and each of those relationships ended because he would cheat.

Back in January, he started dating his current girlfriend (Jen F21) and has been with her far longer than any of the previous relationships. From my interactions with Jen, I know she's a wonderful person. She's very polite, beautiful, and clearly devoted to Matt. For the past few weeks, Matt has also developed a close relationship with his anatomy lab partner (Cindy F21).

It's become pretty clear to me and my other housemates (Kyle M21, Robert M22, Omar M20) that there is some romantic relationship between them. We’ve even all met Cindy as she came by our house a few times. Long story short, Matt has told me and the other guys that things between him and Cindy are moving fairly quickly and that Jen is completely in the dark about this.

He told us that, for the foreseeable future, he'll be spending a few nights hanging out at Cindy's place. Here's the issue: Jen and her roommates don't live that far from us (about a 7-minute walk). So there's a good chance she'll come by looking for him, according to Matt. Therefore, he wants us all to make excuses for his absences and potentially reassure Jen that he isn't up to anything bad.

Kyle and Robert are fully on board with this, as they consider it the "bro code." Omar is fully against this, and while he has not said he'd tell Jen, he has refused to lie for Matt and has been urging him to end things with Cindy. I would say I'm more neutral. I don't think what Matt's doing is appropriate, but I don't think it's my place to tell Matt how to manage his relationships.

I told him that while I wouldn't seek Jen out and tell her what's going on, I wouldn't lie to her either about where he is and instead say “I don't know." We all argued about this for a while, and the general gist of things is that Kyle, Robert, and Matt all think I'm being a bit of an a$$ for not being more cooperative. Aside from this, I don't think there is really much I can do.

Moving to somewhere else is both economically and logistically unfeasible so I think trying to avoid stirring the pot is my best bet AITA?

Redditors did not hold back one bit.

ConversationFancy255 wrote:

I'm with Omar. The bro code, seriously? What about the moral code??? I've always believed in the golden rule, do unto others as u would want them to do unto u. If u were in Jen's situation would u want to continue being with someone who's made u look like a fool with everyone knowing about the cheating except for u? She doesn't deserve to be the last to know.

OP responded:

I agree that Jen's in a bad situation, but outright telling her will make my housing situation real awkward for the next few months.

Interesting-Sock3794 wrote:

How awkward would it be for Jen to get an STD she's not expecting for Christmas?

OP responded:

I hope she doesn't but I'm not going to ask.

judymcjudgerson wrote:

So what? Do you care so little for other people?

OP responded:

I don't want to damage my housing situation. Not making up excuses or lying for Matt seems like a more logical option imo unless there is something else that I'm missing.

myChemical_imbalanc3 wrote:

Did anything happen to Omar? Repercussions for not complying in his lie?

OP responded:

So far nothing really, aside from tension earlier today I don't imagine things will escalate beyond. I'll have to wait and see.

shrimpandshooflypie wrote:

Sometimes, the decisions you make are a reflection of your character; your decision here reflects poorly on you and your view of relationships. If I was you partner, I would think twice about dating someone helping a cheater like this.

Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 wrote:

I hope Omar tells her she deserves better and the rest of you all deserve eachother.

OP responded:

As pissed off as Omar is, I don't think he will outright tell Jen. He probably end up dropping enough hints around her for her to figure it out for herself. Though he honestly is very bothered by the whole situation so I can't entirely rule out the possibility of him telling Jen straight-up.

Time_Bandit_101 wrote:

Are Jen and him in a committed relationship? If so your friend is a dirt bag. Jen doesn’t deserve that. I wouldn’t lie for him. Your friend should break it off with her. You all are young but your friend is not a good person. His history is showing it. In ten years you will probably be embarrassed to have been friends with him.

OP responded:

To be completely honest, I don't think Matt is capable of a committed relationship. That being said I think he has been faithful to Jen for the past 11 months. He certainly is NOT faithful now. Jen is fully committed however and is unaware of what Matt is doing. Though I'm pretty sure she knows he has a history.

Earnest_Asker97 wrote:

ESH except Jen. Matt is going to kill this young woman and you and your friends are going to help him do it. Grow up, man up, and tell this poor woman what's happening.

OP responded:

"Matt is going to kill this young woman"

This doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Also, telling her would create so much drama with my roommates.

Earnest_Asker97 responded:

People still die from complications from sexually transmitted infections. I know that our generation is cavalier about sexual health but we shouldn't be.

Two days later, OP jumped on with an update.

I’ll start this update by saying Jen found out last night. Like Matt predicted, she came over to our house Tuesday evening. I saw her pretty quickly since I was also coming back from buying some food. She asked me if I knew where Matt was, and I said I didn’t know (because I genuinely didn’t know at the time).

She mentioned how he wasn’t responding to her texts and that she was worried about him, and I felt pretty bad hearing that. Kyle who was inside, came out at this point and said that Matt was in his anatomy lab and then reassured her that he’d contact her once he was finished. She didn’t seem entirely satisfied with that answer but thanked us anyway and left.

Once she was gone, Kyle told me that Matt was actually on a date with Cindy. Since Matt sometimes brings Cindy over, he’ll text the house group chat before they come over to ensure that Jen isn’t around. He did this on Tuesday night, and Kyle did alert him that Jen had stopped by looking for him, so he stayed over with Cindy on Tuesday night. Wednesday evening, only Omar and I are home.

Kyle was with his own GF, and Robert had an exam. Around 7 pm, we got a text on the group chat from Matt saying he plans on bringing Cindy over around 8:30, and he asked if Jen came by. I told him that I hadn’t seen her, and things went on as usual. I’ll add that Omar has refused to respond to these specific text messages from Matt, so there was an expectation on me to clarify if Jen was here or not.

A little after 8 pm, Jen comes by with one of her friends (Carlie F21). They asked us where Matt was since Jen hadn’t been seeing him a lot lately. Before I could even say anything, Omar told them to come back after 8:30, and Matt should be home. They left, and I did argue with Omar about his decision to tell them to come back since it was inevitably going to cause drama, but he didn’t care.

I did text Matt and told him about Jen potentially returning, but since he was driving, he didn’t read the message. At this stage, I gave up trying to contact Matt and went up to my room. A little after 8:30, Matt walked in with Cindy, and not that long afterward, Jen and Carlie returned (Omar let them in). Long story short, there was a lot of Jen yelling and Matt lying and apologizing.

I didn’t bother coming down since I could hear it all from my room. After about 10 min of this, Jen and Carlie left. Matt sent Cindy home after this and was pretty pissed at what happened. I reminded him that I sent text messages (which he now saw), and Omar played dumb, acting like he didn’t see Matt’s message about him asking if Jen was home.

Omar confirmed to him that he told Jen to come back after the first time she came because “He didn’t think Matt was dumb enough to go out with Cindy two nights back to back.” Robert and Kyle came home after this point and I filled them in with what happened. There was definitely some tension in the house this morning as Matt thinks this all could have been avoided had Omar been more helpful.

He also partially blames Cindy for wanting to come over so often. Overall, Matt doesn’t really seem to care that Jen found out and broke things off with him. He said that he’ll try apologizing one more time (as he does prefer Jen to Cindy) and if she doesn’t accept, he’ll leave things as they are.

As for Cindy, Matt has already told Kyle, Robert, and me this morning that he plans on ending things with her after the December exam season. He says that he wants to be single again by New Year’s so he can have a fresh start. Kyle and Robert think this is pretty hilarious considering how much trouble he got into to be with her.

Things have ended more smoothly then I thought and I have made it abundantly clear to Matt to keep me out of his relationship woes. I have also asked Carlie how Jen was holding up this morning as we share a class together. As expected Jen was very upset about the entire ordeal and she and her friends consider everyone at our house aside from Omar to be complicit and awful.

Redditors had a lot to say in response to the update.

Kampfzwerg0 wrote:

If we accept bad behaviour without consequences, then we are a part of it.

OP responded:

That is true, I agree that I probably should have spoken out sooner. I wouldn't feel guilty now and would have saved Jen some embarrassment. To late for that now I guess.

Kampfzwerg0 responded:

No, you can still talk to her. Make sure she doesn’t go back to him. You don’t know what lies he is going to tell her.

OP responded:

There is next to no chance she will take him back so I don't think it'll be necessary.

Suitable-Mood-1689 wrote:

Omar is quite a catch.

OP responded:

He's spoken for, unlike the rest of us he's liked the same one girl since we started college.

bigbeefandched wrote:

Yeah your entire house is trash except for Omar. Wonder how Kyle’s gf feels about him encouraging his friend to cheat and covering for him.

OP responded:

"Wonder how Kyle’s gf feels about him encouraging his friend to cheat and covering for him."

To be completely honest, I really don't think she knows about this. But considering how Carlie and Jen know. I'm sure she'll probably find out within a day or two.

Top-Industry-7051 wrote:

You are actually the worst. Omar is the only decent soul but at least the other 2 friends are firm on their sh#$ty position. You're the one wriggling around trying to play on both sides and claim the morale high ground. What you're actually doing is betraying everyone.

OP responded:

I honestly think it's insane to consider me (who told Matt this was a bad idea) worse than the two guys who were gassing him up in this scenario.

Legal-Ad-1454 wrote:

Idk because you still consider yourself to be on some moral high ground just because you weren’t hyping him up. Even if you weren’t hyping him up specifically you still helped him cheat and you refuse to acknowledge the role you played in this.

PolygonMan wrote:

"As expected Jen was very upset about the entire ordeal and she and her friends consider everyone at our house aside from Omar to be complicit and awful."

Jen has her head on straight. Everyone at your house aside from Omar is complicit and awful.

OP responded:

Matt's going to try apologizing to Jen today. I don't think she'll accept his apology or excuses. On the small chance she does, I think it would be pretty ridiculous for her to still consider everyone else "complicit and awful" as she put it.

PolygonMan responded:

See it's not about her considering everyone else "complicit and awful" it's about everyone else being "complicit and awful". You are complicit, and you are awful. That's what you are. It's not about her opinion, it's just about who and what you are.

OP responded:

I told him from day 1 I though what he was doing was bad. I just didn't think it was my place to go tell Jen isn't that overstepping boundaries? Besides I didn't want to make my housing situation awkward.

F*ckYoApp wrote:

YTA. Omar and Jen are the only decent people here. You straight up tried to warn Matt after saying you didn't want to be involved, you hypocrite.

OP responded:

That was only compensating for the fact I earlier I told him I hadn't seen Jen. I wasn't trying to not get him caught.

If I really wanted him to avoid Jen I would have called him which I didn't do.

Imaginary-Yak-6487 wrote:

Everyone but Jen, Cindy & Omar sucks.

OP responded:

Cindy knew about the mess she got herself into. Matt confirmed that.

Stealthy-J wrote:

Yeah well, Matt's a confirmed liar, so who knows.

OP responded:

Regarding this situation he is a liar. That being said Cindy would still see that Matt's social media still had him in a relationship with Jen the entire time this was going on.

A day later, OP jumped on with another major update.

I've been receiving a lot of DMs from people wondering how things turned out after the big reveal, so here's a quick recap:

Jen did not accept Matt's apology. She has indicated that she, in fact, never wants to see him again.

Matt is still with Cindy, and he still plans on breaking up with her after exam season. According to him, Cindy is starting to feel pretty secure now that Matt is no longer with Jen and has expressed her desire to form a serious relationship with him. While he does feel a bit guilty, he thinks it's best for both of them that he ends things with her before New Year’s.

Despite “feeling guilty” Matt has attempted to reactivate his Tinder account, but Kyle made him take it down. Kyle thinks it's too soon for Matt to do this since someone we know is bound to see him there, and according to Kyle, Matt needs to play up the angle that he's heartbroken about falling out with Jen.

Kyle has smoothed things over with his girlfriend by claiming he had no idea Matt was cheating. Robert backed him up on this and expressed that "nobody aside from Matt knew."

While I did plan on telling Carlie the truth about what was going on, considering how quickly Matt, Kyle, and Robert have been moving I opted against this. Instead, I've told Carlie that I also did not know about Matt's cheating.

Yes, it's a lie, but since I was against Matt cheating, I don't think it's fair for me to go down with the ship, considering that both Kyle and Robert are getting off relatively scot-free. Apparently, I was convincing enough as Carlie told me that while she herself doesn't think I'm so bad, Jen will need time to process what went down, so it's best to give her space.

Again, I get it isn’t the most appropriate measure, but I really don’t think I deserve to be in the splash zone. Omar has expressed his strong disappointment in all of us but at this stage his voice has become ambient noise according to Kyle. Since I’m fortunately visiting my parents this weekend, I get to be away from the drama and hopefully any potential fallout.

Also, since its relatively earlier we'll have to wait and see if anything else happens. But I hope (pray) the worst is over.

Redditors continued to let OP have it in the comments.

Bright_Again wrote:

All of you dudes besides Omar are complete and total garbage. I hope you have the love lives you deserve.

mari5834 wrote:

Are you guys stupi* or pretending to be?????? Literally everyone here said that what you were doing is wrong, and then what you do???? Keeps doing the same f**kin things!!! Pls stop being such an AH. Hope Omar finds new friends, he is the only hope of this group.

Sylassae wrote:

YTA still, everyone aside from Jen, Omar and your poor roomies GF.

I hope you get snowed in when you try to get home.

BlackMoonBird wrote:

So you're all each still as much of an a$$clown as your best pal Chucklef**k Firetaint, in other words. Hey, OP, if you're going to update any further, could you maybe like stop painting yourself as an accidental dumb-dumb who didn't mean to be trash? It's crystal clear you're a dickhead and insensitive, it's ok, we all already could tell from your first post.

Please stop pretending you're not an a$$. The saying about a Nazi sitting with a table of ten people and they're therefore all Nazis fits here. I hope Omar leaves right when one of you a$$hats is in a major pinch, just so you can crash and burn.

matchamagpie wrote:

Just dropping by to tell you that you're a cowardly and enabling POS. :)

Ten days later, OP posted yet another update.

For those wondering why I haven't posted another update, I was busy with exams. However, things have largely calmed down. Omar is doing alright. We're not ostracizing him or anything. All he has is bad exam anxiety (despite consistently getting good marks). We went out to celebrate his birthday a few nights ago, and this did help us all de-stress.

According to Carlie, Jen is still very upset about what happened with Matt; however, fortunately, she's less depressed about it now and feels anger towards Matt more than anything else according to Carlie. As for Matt himself, he still claims to be on course to dump Cindy sometime in the near future, as he has remained adamant about being single by the new year.

Matt and Kyle claim that it is fair considering the role that Cindy played in all of this, but I’m not so sure. Either way, I’ll be staying out of whatever Matt has planned. Kyle has pretty successfully smoothed things over with his own GF. For a bit, it did look like she wanted to take a break from him since she did hear about him telling Jen that Matt was in his lab instead of with Cindy.

She was suspicious, but he did reiterate to her that he had no idea Matt was cheating. Robert helped him with this, and they have successfully put the entire thing on Matt. Matt is OK with this as he does now admit “some responsibility” but he only made this admission after Omar essentially had to spell it out for him. Aside from this, not much is happening since everyone is mainly focused on their exams.

Bruh, I don't know what y'all want me to do. Throw hands with the guy?? His ex is probably never going to come back and he'll be dropping the other girl in a few days. He messed up, and trust me I told him as much. But this isn't going to change his nature. He is not me and I do not condone his behaviour.

Commenters kept it one hundred percent honest.

Lostgirlfrmcanada wrote:

Disgusting. Revolting. Your heartless cowards and I hope Omar gets the hells away from you all before he’s lumped in permanently with yalls trash reputations.

“What do you want me to do” not be such a spineless trash bag and tell these guys girlfriends they’re lying trashbags who willingly backed a cheating pig. Wanna seem decent? Don’t hide cheaters and their accomplices, it makes you one.

OP responded:

"tell these guys girlfriends they’re lying trashbags"

I think you're forgetting my housing situation. We're all living together for the next 5 months and I don't want to get myself personally involved in other people's relationships during that time as I don't want my housing situation to suffer.

pickleslikewhoa wrote:

You’re already involved, love to break it to you. These people are not your friends and clearly have no problem with putting you in an awkward position. Not standing against it and openly discouraging it is what speaks volumes about your lack of moral character.

If I were your parent, I’d be ashamed and would question what I did wrong in raising you. Omar is the only person in this scenario that is a decent person.

SuccessfulInternal40 wrote:

Stay away from Carlie and Jen. You...deserve all the guilt for the hurt you helped cause Jen. Only good person here is Omar. None of you deserve anyone in your life..f#$k man...just because you're in college doesn't mean you can be heartless idiots.

Also...Cindy deserves to f#$king know that he has every intention of breaking it off with her. So far, you are participating in helping hurt two girl...oh.. nope wait there's more girls...Kyle's girlfriend.

The role Cindy played?? Sooo...the fact your friend couldn't keep it in his pants.. he blames on...Cindy? God...you're all lying AHs...and you...are not so fearless as your user name says, in fact. You're a little coward hiding in your room. Grow up. Take responsibility for your participation in helping hurt these women.

goobitypoop wrote:

You are a coward's coward. You hang around with your "cooler" friends and go along with what they do because they have you wrapped around their finger.

Have fun being a spineless follower, you really are pathetic.

A week later, OP shared yet another update.

So, there have been a few developments since my last post. Before you ask, no, I haven't told Kyle's girlfriend anything for obvious reasons. Firstly, I don't want to ruin my housing situation. Second, it'd be my word against Kyle's, Matt's, and Robert's, so she probably wouldn't believe what I have to say. Also, I've started seeing a new girl myself, and things are going smoothly.

Snitching on Kyle would probably ruin that as well. I asked Omar privately if he was going to blow the whistle on Kyle, but he didn't give me a particularly straightforward answer. He's hard to read, so I don't know what he'll do. Kyle has begged him not to say anything, so we'll see how that holds. I'm guessing Omar has probably already told the girl he likes about the entire situation.

They act like a married couple despite not really dating, so if he knows, she probably knows as well, which does put Kyle at some risk of being found out, but this is only speculation and not my problem. Matt's plan to dump Cindy and be single by the new year has completely fallen apart. As you may recall, Cindy is Matt's lab partner, and the anatomy class they're taking is a full-year course.

As Omar so smugly pointed out, Matt wants the anatomy prof to write him a ref letter eventually (since he has done prior research with this prof and is doing well in his class), and if he were to have a conflict with his lab partner, that might spoil the letter.

Omar has been throwing this constantly in Matt's face by saying things like how Matt needs to "pretend to love Cindy even though he isn't capable of love" and how he "can't be a hoe anymore because it will affect his academics." He says all this jokingly, but it is hilarious considering how worked up Matt gets.

Jen and Carlie are doing alright; I saw them before leaving campus the other day, and we spoke briefly. I've heard that Jen is starting to reconnect with her ex (the guy before Matt). Before you ask, she didn’t cheat on this guy with Matt. She got with Matt a few months after she and the guy ended things. Hopefully, she finds happiness there.

Since our winter break has started, we'll all be headed our separate ways for most of the break. I do plan on hanging out with the guys a few times, though for now, as much as I love tea, I need a break from their drama.

The comments kept rolling in.

cowboyflowerz wrote:

What Omar pointed out is correct, Matt is pretending to love Cindy, he's truly a hoe especially since all of you besides Omar are ok with him running around and being disloyal to someone he claims to care about and he's done this in apparently every relationship, the man deserves not to have relationships.

The person you date is exactly that, A PERSON, how would you feel if your gf was running around the town and keeping secret partners from you and her friends were condoning it? Would you call them all disloyal hoes? Of course you would because you don't view women as people you view them as objects just like cars.

Omar has a right to be smug, you guys are the absolute worst and he comes out on top and everyone agrees and clearly you don't want to confront your sh#$tiness because you're STILL, AFTER 4 UPDATES, not realizing how WRONG this situation was. STOP CHECKING ON JEN, YOU CLEARLY DON'T GIVE A F#$K ABOUT HER IF YOU WEREN'T HONEST TO HER.

You could have stopped this, you could have cared more about her and her feelings, but you didn't and you're partially to blame for her sadness and anger for LYING TO HER TO HER FACE. Omar is a king, I hope he sees these posts so he can know just how truly a great guy he is. We need more men like him, men who don't subscribe to a silly a$$ "bro code" that will fall apart once you all leave college.

He views women as people, and for that he deserves a better life than any of you guys. You are condoning Matt's actions and attitude which reflects back to you and your future relationships. Omar and his girl have a full right to blow that whistle on all you AHs so that every girl on campus knows to avoid your a$$es like the plague.

ramblingnerd11 wrote:

I feel bad for the new girl you're seeing, I hope Omar says something to her so she can run for the hills. Seems like Omar has no problem rocking the boat and being an adult who respects others' feelings, especially women's. You should take a page out of his book OP. Bro code isn't everything, Omar hasn't gotten kicked out despite not sticking to the code.

You are just roommates unless you BOYS are closer than that, it won't matter in 5 years when you all have moved on. As for Matt and Cindy, it sounds like they deserve each other, I hope they enjoy the next several months together, until Matt starts cheating on Cindy. Then we'll see where that leads.

PanicSwtchd wrote:

From all the previous posts it's still amazing how you keep trying to come out as trying to be a good person despite literally being just as bad as your other roommates (except Matt). You'll eventually learn that your idea of bro-code will damage your relationship not just with your future partners, but with any women in your life.

What you consider "their drama" is actually your lack of integrity seeing as how you're reveling in how uncomfortable Matt gets with Omar calling him out. Integrity counts and you've compromised yours. The only good person in that house is Omar...if he does get kicked out, it just reinforces how trashy you and your other roommates are.

Diligent-Register-99 wrote:

You are just as bad as the other three guys. You are trying to act like a “nice guy” but in reality you are just lying through your teeth so the blame doesn’t fall onto you. If you actually cared about either Charlie, Jen, your girlfriend or Kyle's girlfriend or hell even Cindy you would be outright telling them about what went on alongside Omar.

You just seem like a coward with no spine since you are slinking back into the shadows and not saying anything. Your comment about “I need a break from their drama” is so delusional too. IT IS YOUR DRAMA AS YOU WERE A PART OF MATT’S CHEATING AND STOOD BY SILENTLY! I hope that your current GF finds out about this and confronts you, she deserves to know how you are complicit in this situation.

Omar and his GF should be blowing the whistle at EVERYONE involved including you! If Omar gets kicked out of the place then it shows how utterly useless and disgusting people you four are.

Roughly five weeks later, OP jumped on with another update.

Unsurprisingly, Matt (M22) has cheated again on his newest "gf" Cindy (F21). I use the term gf loosely because realistically Matt only stayed with Cindy because he needed a recommendation letter from a certain prof and didn't want issues in the class he shared with her. Cindy was essentially a placeholder and since Matt no longer needs that letter (lucky him), he's more or less done with her.

He went on quite a tirade about how annoying and clingy she is and again mentioned how he still prefers his previous gf, Jen (F21), to her. Matt revealed this information, during a completely unrelated conversation, to me (M21) and one of my other roommates, Omar (M21) last night.

The two of us had no idea this was going on as Matt has been more secretive about whom he tells his relationship info since the last time he cheated. Our other roommate Kyle (M21) told us that he has known about Matt cheating on Cindy for almost 2 weeks now (he and Matt are besties).

I'm not sure if our other roommate Robert, who wasn't here last night when were having this chat, knows about Matt cheating yet again. I didn't bother asking Matt or Kyle if he knew. Of course, Cindy has no clue that Matt's been unfaithful nor does Kyle's own gf, Olivia (F21), know that Kyle's been essentially helping Matt cheat on Cindy.

I kinda knew Olivia wouldn't know for obvious reasons, but I didn't want Kyle to confirm this with me. The only reason I got this confirmation was because Omar stupidly asked Kyle "Does Olivia know?" Realistically, Omar knew damn well that Olivia wouldn't know (she didn't know last time Kyle covered for Matt) but I guess he wanted to burden us with this information for whatever reason.

Omar then asked Matt if he was going to break up with Cindy and Matt only responded by saying "Eventually, yes". I asked Matt what he meant by this and he clarified that he wanted to be done with Cindy by reading week (about 2 weeks away). For those wondering, I'm still here for 3 more months until my lease is up.

Redditors let OP have it, for another round.

Fennac wrote:

The lot of y’all are spineless AHs. Except for Omar.

ETA: Honestly, besides your cheating friend you’re the worst out of all of them. Those tao idiots may stick by the bro code and be shit people for doing it, but at least they picked a side.

They decided what line to stand on, and they back it up. There's honor and loyalty in that no matter how wrong their opinion is. But you? You like to take a quiet stance so you don’t rock the boat. You wont outwardly say anything against them doing shit that you quietly say you don’t agree with. Silence is complicit.

By saying and doing nothing, you chose your side. You cant be outwardly indifferent but say something else to claim superiority. You’re a hypocrite and a liar and a coward. If you’re going to be an AH like your friends, then say it with your chest. Otherwise shut the hell up about how you don’t agree with his actions but go along with all of it anyway because it’s more convenient for you.

satyrbassist wrote:

Dude I wish nothing but the worst for your romantic relationships of the future. The only person in that household that’s a decent human being is Omar. I get that you don’t want to mess up your living situation, but after everything that’s gone down? F#$k it. I never thought I’d say this, but I hope every relationship you have ends with them cheating on you.

PatternCapable1382 wrote:

I pity your gf because if you can condone him cheating on NOT ONE BUT TWO GIRLS and not say anything then you are not going to see a problem doing it to your gf. My dad is like your so called friend. I grew up watching him destroy my mum by cheating on her repeatedly while he had 2 young daughters at home.

She finally kicked his arse out when he brought his AP home with him after disappearing for 2 weeks with no contact. Walked in and told me and my sister to get our swimming stuff. My mum told us to go to our rooms. We could hear her screaming at him to get out of the house and to take his f#$king whore with him.

One of the most disturbing things is that that AP was a year younger than his daughter from his 1st marriage so he was literally old enough to be her dad. As a result I have always made it very very clear to any bf I have had that cheating is a deal breaker. Have told them straight that if they ever cheat on me, I would walk and NEVER look back.

You are as despicable as your friend because guess what you are basically an accomplice to his cheating. The only decent person out of your entire group is Omar and I hope that man cuts ties with the lot of you.

Naive-Ad6219 wrote:

Bro. If you really don.t want drama there, you should've revealed the cheating from the start. If you are afraid of Matt's reaction. You should have secretly told Cindy and Olivia what is happening. And to be honest, I don't get why you are considering Matt as a friend when in fact he is putting you in a difficult position. Unless you really want to be involved lol.

Ten days later, OP (who is clearly a glutton for punishment) shared yet another update.

I'm only writing because I've been getting far too many DMs and I just want to address a few things here. Firstly, please stop DMing me. I've got over 50 in the past few days and more or less they're all the same nonsense.

Second, nobody should expect me to march over to Jen and Carlie's house and tell them and all their other roommates that I knew Matt was cheating on Jen for weeks before he got found out. I have a pretty good reputation and don't want to needlessly damage that. You're free to call it cowardice but I think it's pretty pointless to go talk to Jen since she has largely moved on.

I truly hope she's in a better place. Carlie and I still have a few classes together this semester and she generally has a very good opinion of me. We share notes pretty often and I know that telling her would make her disappointed. Third, nobody in our house has any intentions of telling Cindy that Matt is actively cheating on her.

We are all pretty busy dealing with exams, assignments, and interview prep to worry about that. I however told Matt firmly that he needed to stop playing games and at least try and hold down a serious relationship after the Cindy saga ends. He said he would heed my advice, but I don't really believe him.

Fourth, Kyle's gf Olivia doesn't know about how he's helping Matt cheat on Cindy. Omar did tell him that he should probably come clean about that before it bites him in the ass later. Robert on the other hand told Kyle that telling Olivia is "madness" since she may react as if Kyle was the one cheating. Obviously, Matt also doesn't want Kyle to tell Olivia anything.

Lastly, I don't expect Omar to run around spilling tea like most people think. He's got enough on his plate between schoolwork, interviews and prepping for ramadan. However, I will admit there is a small chance the girl he likes (Sara F21) knows about our situation and may tell Olivia. Kyle does worry about that.

The comments kept rolling in.

advvvvx wrote:

I really truly hope all these girls are being safe. Y’all are risking their health by not telling them their “men” aren’t faithful.

Forsaken-Ad5255 wrote:

Honestly he’s no better than Matt. I actually think he is worse because as least Matt knows what he is doing is wrong. This guy thinks he is not one of the bad guys because he is not directly involving himself when in fact he is siding and helping the cheater.

Individual_Matter_67 wrote:

You make it sound like Omar telling people would be a chore for him. When really it’s just called being a good person. Something you are very clearly not familiar with.

Antique_College1619 wrote:

You guys see how they lie for each other? Y'all are the most shady group of STD spreaders I've ever seen. Who behaves like this? Would your mother be proud of who you've become? Are you proud of who you are? Omar is the only one among you with a soul. The rest of you are just as sh#$ty as Matt.

Your "reputation" deserves to be ruined because it's fake. You aren't who you appear to be. You are a coward, a worm, and others should know not to trust you.

A month later, OP jumped on, yet again with an update.

The 2nd term at uni is finally starting to wrap up now, I had a few stressful midterms but for the most part, things seem to be calming down a bit. I only have about 1.5 months left on my lease and then I'll be able to leave all my roommate drama in the past as this is our last year of undergrad. Just a few days ago, Matt told me and the other guys that he had finally dumped Cindy.

It came a bit late as I remember him saying something about being done with her by reading week (which ended on Feb/25). He admitted that he kept her along partially for his lab class. Now only a few more lab sessions remain in the term and most of them are independent work according to Matt.

Supposedly, Cindy is distraught, though since she knew about Matt's antics beforehand, I hope she had the foresight to mentally prepare for this outcome. At least she doesn't know she was cheated on. Since dumping Cindy, Matt has started seeing a new girl.

So far he claims to like her, but since he's likely going to move this summer (to attend med school), the relationship already has a predetermined expiry date. Omar asked him if the girl knew what she was signing up for and Matt gave a lame answer about not knowing the future and how she might prefer this sort of arrangement. Omar was a bit annoyed by this and told Matt that he was behaving like an AH.

I agreed with Omar and told Matt that he was probably already lining up potential affair partners. He denied this and said that if things went well enough, he'd be open to trying a long-distance relationship (assuming he moves out of province). All of us called BS on this, even Kyle and Robert. Speaking of Kyle, he has still not told Olivia about how he's been helping Matt cheat.

Olivia is pretty friendly with Omar's so-called future wife, Sara so maybe she tells Olivia, idk. Kyle is worried about this outcome and asked Omar to help with damage control if this does happen. Omar has refused and claims he can't lie since he's fasting these days. He thinks that Kyle should just tell her so that way she'll maybe appreciate the transparency.

Robert warned Kyle against this and said that it would probably just create drama and stress for him. I've been telling my own gf some of what's been going on, and she has expressed to me several times that she doesn't like Matt (or Kyle lol). Between all the papers she writes for her courses and prepping for the LSAT she'll be writing in the late summer, she's got enough to worry about.

But she did tell me that she'd like me to be firmer with Matt so I've been calling out his problematic behaviour more often. The last thing I'll add is that Jen is thankfully in a better place now. Carlie told me that Jen started talking with a new guy a few weeks ago, so hopefully, that works out well for her.

Funnily enough, Matt knows this as well and seems bothered by it but there isn't much he can do about it aside from coping I guess.

The internet continued to keep it real with OP.

Shelly_895 wrote:

Oh Jeez, can one of you please tell Olivia already so she can break up with that AH? Christ, y'all frustrate me.

CptnAhab1 wrote:

The only good person is Omar. You, on the other hand are equal to, if not worse than Matt. Yall should stay away from women til the end of time, heck maybe you two should hook up while you're at it.

diddyk2810 wrote:

I love that Omar said it’s Ramadan I can’t engage in haram behaviour lmao.

TwistedandPretty wrote:

What I don’t understand is why get in the relationship? If Matt wants to be community d*ck and f#$k around just do that. He doesn’t have to get a girlfriend, just be honest and upfront. There are women out there who need to be in a committed relationship.

You can just date, be FWB, or whatever. Why keep hurting people? Is he some kind of psychopath getting off on the hurt he causes?

Hopefully, this is the last update.

Sources: Reddit
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