'AITA for refusing to buy my sister a baby shower gift for her 6th baby?'

"AITAH for refusing to buy my sister a baby shower gift for her 6th baby?"

So, my sister recently sent me a link to her baby registry, and I was kind of surprised (maybe even a little appalled). This is her 6th baby, and she just had a girl last year who just turned 1. So, I’m confused why she needs all these things again, especially since this baby is also a girl.

I’ve never liked buying new baby clothes because they outgrow them so fast, and I don’t see the point in spending $40 on a onesie a baby will wear once. In my opinion, babies don’t care if something is secondhand, so why not reuse what you already have?

To make matters worse, my husband and I are in our 20s and currently childless because we don’t feel financially ready for kids yet, although we really want them.

Meanwhile, my sister and her husband keep having more kids, and every time we’re expected to show up with gifts for each of them—Christmas, birthdays, dance recitals, you name it. And if we don’t, they give us grief, not realizing how much pressure it puts on us and other family members.

When I told her I wouldn’t be buying her a baby shower gift this time, she got upset. I said I’d still go to the shower to celebrate, but I didn’t feel the need to buy her a gift since she should already have everything.

She argued that each baby should be treated the same, and if I gave her a gift for the first, I should for all of them. She even said I wouldn’t understand because I don’t have kids yet. Now, neither of us has apologized, and we haven’t talked since the argument. So, AITAH for refusing to buy her a baby shower gift?

The internet had a lot to say about the situation.

Wanderer866 wrote:

"She argued that each baby should be treated the same, and if I gave her a gift for the first, I should for all of them."

Oh look at that... "if I gave "her" a gift for the first."

It isn't about the baby. SHE wants presents. Because babies are little dolls and she is sick of all the costumes she already has.

NTA. The kid will get birthday presents, just like the other five. Get her a box of condoms for this baby shower or something.

Saltywithatwist wrote:

NTA. NO ONE NEEDS SIX BABY SHOWERS!!! The entitlement and audacity is off the charts! She should have more than enough baby things by now for a small army!

Beautiful_Sweet8686 wrote:

This is another one of the things that entitled people (my opinion) have demanded. In my day you had a baby shower for the first kid but not any other ones unless you had another one like 10 years later and never expected another kid.

Your sister knew she was going to keep popping out kids so she should have saved everything already and doesn't need anything else except diapers maybe, but that's on the parents to buy if they choose to keep popping out babies.

No one owes them anything, including birthday and xmas presents, your NTA and don't feel a bit guilty. Tell sis if she can't afford to raise her own kids then she needs to stop breeding.

RevolutionaryCow7961 wrote:

She’s a twit! If you feel you have to go the shower. Give her pkg of diapers and say I know you’ll need these. Birthdays and Christmas a card with no more than $10 each. Or bday $5 and Christmas $10. Don’t waste your money on greedy sister. Anybody complains, say I’ve done the gifts for years but cannot afford to keep giving costly gifts to the kids.

Huge_Mistake_3139 wrote:

NTA - My SIL has 9 kids 14 down to 1 (same father, all single births).

Thankfully we do not live close to them because her version of “parenting” is much different than ours.

Her kids have been screaming in the next room and she’s just sitting at the table, until someone says “are you going to make sure everyone is ok?” (At the time they were the only ones with kids).

I remember when my MIL told me that my SIL’s church told her they wouldn’t be throwing her baby showers for her 5th kid or any future children. My MIL understood, but she said my SIL was surprised. (I just chuckled to myself)

No one in my in-law family has been exactly thrilled for her since after the 5th kid. Kudos to you for buying presents for so long. I told my wife we weren’t buying presents for the kids about 6 years ago. We would get them nice thoughtful gifts and their parents would give us each a used VHS tape…while I don’t expect gift giving to always be even, the disparity was too much.

And that was before we had kids.

Again - NTA. I’m not sure why people expect baby multiple baby showers. Maybe two if the second is a different gender or there is a “surprise” baby and they have gotten rid of everything.

sweeteveescape wrote:

NTA. Your feelings about not wanting to buy a gift for your sister's sixth baby are understandable its valid to question the necessity of buying new items when there are already resources available from previous children additionally the pressure to continually give gifts for every occasion can be overwhelming especially when you're not in a financial position to have children yourself yet.

Business-Car5413 wrote:

NTA. If you do get her anything, a gift card to a store where she can buy diapers and things would be fine. Also, when you do buy baby gifts, consider buying larger sizes. If I’m getting clothes, I always buy 12 months size since people give lots of newborn sizes.

Mine all wore 3 months size when they were born, and were never able to wear all cute newborn stuff.

I do like another commenter’s suggestion of a box of condoms tho. That would be hilarious!