'AITA for refusing to change a students pad?'

"AITA for refusing to change a students pad?"

I (28F) work as an RBT, (Behavioral Tech) basically I work with kids one on one in the classroom and document any behaviors of concern and try to correct them. Usually these are kids who have suffered trauma, have autism or another intellectual disability.

To be clear, I do not work for the school, I work for a private company that partners with school districts but I am not a school employee. I was recently assigned a new client who is 16F and nonverbal and generally not very keen on doing much of anything except watch a show on her computer and sleep for hours on end or stealing food from people.

However, recently her teacher came up to me and expressed how the student, lets call her Sally, is on her period and I will need to change her pad. The teacher expressed how she was relieved not to be doing it anymore and thanked me in advance for doing it.

I shut her down instantly and explained that not only will I not do that but I am not allowed to even be completely alone with Sally and I am not allowed to go with her into the bathroom where she is usually fully independent.

Plus I have only been with Sally for a total of two weeks so she is still getting to know me and vise versa, I do not want to make her uncomfortable nor do I want someone assuming the worse if they did see me in the restroom helping a mentally disabled child.

The teacher's reaction was not great, she said that I was required to start changing her pad as it came with Sally's care and needs, I expressed that I understood that however my job is exclusively to aid in Sally's behavioral needs my job does not include academic and especially not bathroom needs.

The teacher remarked with a "we will see" (???) and walked away. I am not only surprised but confused for a variety of reasons but mainly that the teacher is head of the special needs department and has the proper training with how best to handle Sally and her needs in all forms generally and Sally feels safe and comfortable with her.

I also do not think Sally's parents would want a practical stranger in the bathroom with their daughter to go anywhere near her underwear. Sally has already needed to have her pad changed and the teacher has refused to do it, so rather then argue I brought Sally to the nurse who also refused to do it.

I am just unsure what to do, my supervisor is on my side but also says that if Sally is uncomfortable to change it if everyone refuses but I have stood firm on my no for both Sally and I's safety.

But it's the second day of her period and her mom left a note with the teacher that Sally has a rash and to change her pad more often, a note which she gave to me. I am unsure what to do! AITA for refusing to change a students pad?

Let's see what readers thought:

aag writes:

ESH. Y'all gotta figure it out. Seems like a meeting with kiddos team is needed. There is clear confusion of roles and as professional "not my problem" "thats someone.

plo2 writes:

You know where the teacher stands, you know where you stand; therefore, your boss needs to have a conversation with the principal over your CONTRACTUAL responsibilities as the teacher's "because I said so" statement has no weight.

healt5 writes:

Sally is 16. The fact that she has a period should be no surprise, and how her period/toileting should be dealt with should be written into her enrolment plan. If it’s not, then teacher, nurse and aide are all correct.

The solution is for mother to come and change her pad regularly. This may need to be the permanent solution (surely the school has experienced this before). ALL stakeholders need to agree to a solution (ie no one can be forced or force Sally to change her pad).

Perhaps her mother needs to look at birth control solutions that can stop Sally’s period