'AITA for refusing to get my MIL a Christmas gift this year?'
"AITA for refusing to get my MIL a Christmas gift this year?"
My MIL has her birthday on the 27th December and always makes a massive fuss that we can’t mention Christmas on the 27th and it’s just got to be about her birthday. (Decorations etc all have to come down and she won’t ask the kids what they got for Christmas or anything about Christmas at all on that day!)
Last year I got a large Christmas bonus and wanted to get everybody something lovely. She really likes designer bags so I got her one she has always wanted which was more than four times the cost of everyone else’s gifts...
So to justify it, I needed it to be a Christmas/ birthday gift. On Christmas Day last year I gave her the wrapped gift and explained that it was a joint Christmas and birthday gift and she would understand why when she opened it…
Well, she refused to open it. She put it to the side and said “I’ll open it on my birthday else I’ll have nothing to open will I”… I was due to work on the 27th so wouldn’t be at her birthday and said I’d really like to see her open it as it’s a special gift.
She said “you know how I feel about my birthday being so close to Christmas and how awful it is for me and you’ve done this on purpose to spoil Christmas for me” … she then gave me the gift back and stormed off...she spent the rest of the afternoon shut in her room sobbing. (Loudly!!)
Her husband told me to go and get her something else for her birthday, but I said no.) Maybe I’m the AH here!) ...I told my husband I was done with doing the present shopping for her and he can do it from now on…he hasn’t got her anything yet for this year for either Christmas or her birthday and I’m not going to help choose anything…
As I’m typing this I’m feeling like I’m probably the AH as I just don’t think she deserves anything for acting the way she did... but my husband is rubbish as gifting, so AITA for refusing to help and knowing she will probably end up with no gift at all?
Here's what top commenters had to say:
ThisIsMyCircus40 said:
Omg NTA!!!! Return the gift. Get your money back. Leave it to your husband. It’s HIS mother. Let him deal with her childish temper tantrums.
typical_jesus666 said:
As someone with a birthday on Christmas Eve, birthdays don't really matter after 25. This grown woman spent Christmas making a scene because she can't handle having a 2 in 1 gift. I guarantee that she's miserable to deal with in day to day life. NTA.
Sub_Zero_Fks_Given said:
I'd show her a pic of the purse and go "Yeah, if you hadn't acted like a 4 yr old and stomped off to your room to cry you'd have seen why it was a 2 in 1 gift. I returned it yesterday." But I'm super petty like that.
Some-Selection1811 said:
NTA. Your MIL's behavior is beyond childish and absurd and well into lunacy. Stop catering to the crazy.
Penguinssuck05 said:
My birthday is the 26th of December and I get many combined gifts that in all honesty shouldn’t be combined. Whilst I appreciate her frustration since I’ve had the same. That said, her expectations are unreasonable and even if you mentioned the cost and what it was it wouldn’t have been enough for her. NTA and enjoy the new bag.
Sea_Firefighter_4598 said:
NTA. He's hoping you will cave and do it for him. Don't. It is too bad he's not good at gift giving but with a mother like that it is no wonder.