'AITA for refusing to give up my Christmas leave for a colleague who has kids?'
"AITA for refusing to give up my Christmas leave for a colleague who has kids?"
So context, my office closes over Christmas and generally opens around the 2nd/3rd of jan. This year we were instructed to put in our leave request up until the 2nd. And put a second request through for any additional days after that and they would approve additional days after the 2nd once everyone had applied and they got ls assess how many staff they would have.
I put in until the 8th of Jan, as did 3/5 of my colleagues. 1 is coming back the 2nd and another one didn’t put in any extra days so they approved it. The one who didn’t put in any extra days has since gone to the managers and said she wanted to take off until the 8th also because she wants to spend time with her kids (they’re like 8/9) and her husband.
My bosses declined as they needed 2 staff members here and it hadn’t been put in beforehand. Colleague said she wasn’t put in the extra days already but the rest of the team knew and did it.
Bosses said the only way she could hav w it off was if she could get another staff member to come back early. She asked me in a passive aggressive email because “Christmas holidays are about being with family and because I don’t have children I could come back on the 2nd and swap with her."
I declined saying that I had plans for that time and she lost it! She has been going around saying that I ruined her holiday plans and am being inconsiderate of people with families and children.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Remember1959 said:
NTA. You have plans, you requested the leave. End of story. If it were a matter of working Christmas Day itself and a colleague had a 3-6 year old, I MIGHT consider swapping. But after New Year? Nope, a thousand times nope. And Tell HR she’s creating a hostile working environment.
lmmontes said:
NTA. This is on her and you should likely tell HR. Her behavior is 100% unacceptable. And just because people have kids doesn't mean their off time is more important.
Illustrious-Shirt569 said:
NTA. I have young kids who still do the Santa thing and being with them for Christmas is really important to me. So you know what I do? Am the very first one to ask for leave at this time to be sure my supervisor knows and I’m approved. This year I got it approved in July.
Natural_Garbage7674 said:
NTA. Excuse me? You have family, too. Just because it doesn't look like hers, doesn't make it any less valid or important. From a HR perspective, it wasn't fair to anyone who participated in the system correctly to tell her that she could only have it if one of you handed it back. Instead of dealing with her disorganisation, they've created conflict.
Further, you should check whether parental status is a protected class in your area/state/country. If it is, you're likely protected regardless of whether or not you have kids, they can't discriminate against you for having children or not having children.
This would extend to protecting you from discrimination by a colleague. If she's singling you out because you don't have kids, if she's telling you you aren't as important because of your parental status, that's discrimination.
Outrageous_Grade2713 said:
Ugh I hate people that act like just because you don't have kids the holidays shouldn't mean as much or something. I left a job because of that. NTA if anything send her email to HR and let them know what she's doing. If your petty like me I'd start showing people the email and show them how your requested the extra days off as you were instructed to do!
Artistic_Tough5005 said:
NTA this is BS you have a family also! You just don’t have a bunch of kids. It’s ok to take time off for holidays even if you had no family. You got your time in on time she did not.
The_Bad_Agent said:
Easy NTA and her kids are not relevant in any way. Enjoy your holiday, guilt free. And any hostile behavior from her should be documented for reporting.