'AITA for refusing to let my pregnant sister stay with me a month before she's due?' UPDATED
"AITA for not taking in my pregnant sister?"
I 23F don’t want to let my 21 year old pregnant sister move into my apartment. Her and her husband (I’ll call him A) had a recent falling out and are taking a break from each other, he left my sister’s place and moved in somewhere else and she recently got evicted.
Bit of back story, I let her stay at my place twice earlier in the pregnancy when her and A were still together. She made a disaster (left food stains on the bedsheets and left her dirty clothes and dishes all over the place) and got mad when I called her out. A, refuses to take her in and my sister is blaming me for not housing her, even though she got evicted because she didn’t pay the rent.
My place isn’t a penthouse or anything cool but she’s messy, lazy and doesn’t have a job. She’s due in a month and wanted to stay at least another 4 months and I really don’t want to have a screaming infant in my house especially because I have extremely early shifts as a paramedic. After I told her no and apologized, she called me every name under the sun and told our parents.
They called me absolutely PISSED (despite not wanting to take her in either) and demanded I give her the guest bedroom until her and A get back together. Side note: I’m paying for this place fully NOT my parents or sister. When I said that I wouldn’t do that they called me disgusting and said that they didn’t want anything to do with me until I take her in.
I was also told that I’m not welcome at their house or any family functions like Christmas or Thanksgiving. AITA?
What do you think? AITA for refusing to take in her pregnant sister? This is what top commenters had to say:
KittyKiitos said:
NTA. Tell your parents they're not welcome at your house until they take her in, then block them for a bit. How dare they leave her to fend for herself. And how dare they put the parenting on you. They're very, very wrong here.
co_fragment said:
"I’m not welcome at their house or any family functions like Christmas or thanksgiving." NTA. Sounds like they're doing you a favour
GurgleQueen636 said:
NTA your parents and sister are though. They can't refuse to take her in and then get mad when you won't either. They have more responsibility to her then you do as her parents and even then your sister is a grown ass woman.
And Justa-cat said:
NTA- do NOT fall for your parents BS. People always push back nasty when you lay down boundaries. Because they should take her in but won't. And they're the ones with a much bigger house I'd bet my last buck. The fact her own parents won't take her in AND THEN have to resort to CUTTING OFF THEIR OTHER CHILD to force the other child to do it??
Christ what a toxic mess of a family. Do NOT fall for it. This is NOT your monkey and NOT YOUR CIRCUS. Your parents can do their farking job and step up. And you can already see what lengths your "loving parents" will go to to get you to do what they want. Oh hell no.
It will suck not to be invited by your family to stuff BUT enjoy the peace and quiet. Your parents and your sister sound nasty AF. They'll get over it. I hope you will too eventually... now you've seen what your family is capable of.
Verdict: NTA!
Two months after her original post, she shared this update:
It’s been almost two months since my last post. Quick summary: I didn’t let my pregnant sister move into my apartment, she got upset and so on. After the post, my mother and sister threatened to call my boss and have me ‘fired’, thankfully, as a paramedic, my boss knows bullsh!t when he hears it. I still have my job.
I decided to cut off all contact from my parents and sister, despite them being biologically related to me. Her child was born and is around one month old, I’m assuming. I don’t even know the gender of her child or the name. I’m honestly okay with it. Now, I wouldn’t have minded having a relationship with my niece/nephew, but I already know the child would have grown up hating me, as taught by my sister.
As for her living situation, I honestly don’t know. Last I know is that our aunt let her stay for a week. I haven’t heard from her since a little after my last post, my life has been a lot better since then and I feel I made the best choice by cutting them off.
Throughout all of this, I realized family doesn’t always mean you have to be related by blood, family can be whoever you make it, and I met some of the best people these last few years, who to me are family. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the help of you guys, so thank you all.