'AITA for refusing to invite my friend over?' 'He won't remove his shoes.'

"AITA for refusing to invite my friend over because he won’t remove his shoes?"

I have a rug inside of my apartment door to remove shoes. I also have my shoes there which indicates to remove shoes. I also don’t wear shoes in my own house. The first time my friend came over he didn’t ask and just walked into my apartment with his shoes on before I could even say anything.

I told him I want him to remove his shoes and he did. The second time he came over he did the same thing. I got mad the second time because I told him my rules before which he didn’t know the first time. He said he “forgot” to take them off but said he will remove them. I never invited him back over after this.

He asked me why I never invite him over my house anymore and I just always make up excuses. I don’t want him in my house anymore because he doesn’t respect the fact that I have a no shoe policy inside because I actually keep my apartment floors clean. I have a pet and shoe free home and I sweep/mop religiously.

My floors are not dirty and I don’t want outdoor germs on my floor. It takes me a lot of time to keep my place clean. He told me he forgot and I shouldn’t hold that against him. He also said I am being a germaphobe and I’m taking things too seriously when it was an honest forgetful mistake. He said he won’t do it again but I told him I don’t want to test that out.

Mind you, he has done this to another friend at her house. She has told anyone at her house to remove their shoes which we do and then he will “forget” the next time he’s invited to her house and just walk in unless he’s explicitly told each time to remove his shoes. Whenever I go to anyone’s house I by default remove my shoes (or I ask if they want me to) unless they tell me to keep them on.

I told him that I don’t want to test him coming to my place anymore since he does the exact same thing with our other friend. He told me it’s not my apartment and she hasn’t said anything to him about removing his shoes each time and how doing so takes more work/time...

(We are in our early 30’s so he’s not old) so I shouldn’t worry about her place. He also says he doesn’t feel like unlacing and lacing his sneakers each time.

EDIT:

I know his family and his parents have a no shoes policy in the house. So he was raised to not wear shoes in their home. He also doesn’t wear shoes in his apartment and asks guests to remove theirs. He “forgets” at me and other friends homes unless explicitly asked EACH time.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

FALlacies_Ahoy said:

NTA, obviously. Just be honest with him and tell him he hasn't been invited over again because he won't follow the house rules you made for YOUR house. He doesn't take off his shoes, he doesn't get invited to your house.

And if he wants to pitch a fit about not being allowed in a place because he doesn't follow rules, that's his problem. Does he win arguments with club bouncers when he doesn't follow the dress code? Obviously not. Why should he win arguments with "a friend?"

twylahelnot said:

If he wants to get together, he can invite you to his place. NTA.

wayward_painter said:

NTA my best friend has a shoe free home. I even respect.it when I'm just plant sitting. Why? Cause I love and respect my friend. It's not hard.

ashkebane said:

NTA. Your house, your rules and if he can’t respect that, he doesn’t need to be there.

Mizutsune-Lover said:

NTA but there is no point making up excuses and not being honest about it.

Inherently_Rainbow said:

NTA. Not removing your shoes is unsanitary and rude. You asked him to, and he ignored you. I also remove my shoes by default, and I would not invite him back either.