'AITA for refusing to pay my friends back for dinner after they offered to pay for some girls?'

"AITA for refusing to pay my friends back for dinner?"

For context, myself, 2 other guys and 3 girls went out to eat at a steakhouse today. Not a date type of thing at all. Simply grabbing food after hanging out. The 2 guys both got 16 ounce steaks while I opted for a more modest 8 ounce. The girls all got food as well as alcohol, which we all know runs pretty expensive at restaurants.

When we were finished eating, the waiter came over and asked if we wanted split checks. Before anyone could think about it or consult, my one friend immediately said, "nah, just one check."

The girls looked pretty shocked and I just looked over with a "wtf dude" kinda face. The other friend is kinda shy and just went along with what the first guy said. The tab came out to be $164 dollars, and the guy who opted for one check didn't even have enough funds on his card to pay for it. So the other guy paid and we would Venmo him back.

Even after this, the girls insisted on paying us back for the food, and were pretty firm about it. But guy #1 continued to shut them down and kept saying "nah, WE got it". Its nighttime now and he's demanding me to Venmo $55 to cover "my share" of the tab. I explained how it wasn't fair that he essentially volunteered me to pay for their food.

I got the least expensive meal out of the 6 of us, and yet I'm paying as if I ordered half the menu. I'm getting s**t for it and being told to just suck it up and pay. Oh, and by the way, we're all college students. Personally, i'm paying back loans as we speak and working part-time. I intentionally order smaller meals at restaurants and rarely go out. Now I'm expected to just throw $55 out the window for no reason. AITA?​​​​​​

The internet had a lot of thoughts to share.

ifticar2 wrote:

ESH- your friend for trying to flex with money he doesn't have. Leading with money to impress some girls is real cornball behavior. You suck for not having a back-bone. If the money is that important to you, speak up, and insist everyone pays for their own food.

The girls were offering to pay, and guy #1 said "we got it." Sounds like "we" would include you as well since you're one of the guys. Seems like you had plenty of time to tell him to stop being dumb and just let everyone pay their own way. Guy #1 is def the big AH, but imo, you should take this as a lesson to speak up for yourself next time.

Prestigious_Fig7338 wrote:

You need to speak up at the time. If you just want to pay for your meal only, make that clear when paying the bill in the moment. All these post-outing shenanigans do is create angst and sometimes shift the extra cost to the poor sod who put it all on their card.

If you'd have insisted on paying your share, the other two guys would've realised they could i) pay just their shares too, or ii) they'd be stuck splitting 5 people's costs between just the two of them. The most likely domino effect if you spoke up would have been everyone would've just paid their share.

KatzAKatz wrote:

NTA. Ask for separate checks up front so everyone is clear about what you're paying for. If the restaurant won't do that, leave. If you can, have cash on hand in various denominations so you can easily pay your share, including tip, without having to do any transactions with anyone else. Give your cash to the server, don't just leave it on the table as moochers will use your tip amount to cover their cost.

Zookeepergameold3850 wrote:

Holy moly, in the steakhouses and nicer restaurants in my city a 16 ounce steak alone would cost over $100. How on earth can 6 people eat and drink in a steakhouse for $164?!? That's stupidly cheap. $164 comes out to $28 each. I seriously can't comprehend people eating steaks and drinking with a tab at $28 each.

This makes no sense. Given this math I don't think this is real but if restaurants give away food where you live then NTA. You didn't decide anything except what to order and that's all you're responsible for. If your friend wanted to appear like a big shot let him pay for their $84 portion plus tax and tip.

articnight240 wrote:

NTA. I would've said "who's we?!" 😂 must be speaking french... Just send money for your portion and that's it. If he was so concerned about paying for the girls, then he can put them on his tab.

Individual_Ad_9213 wrote:

NTA. Visit the steakhouse's online menu; look at the cost of your items; add in taxes and a generous tip; and venmo your ex-friend that amount.

BoogieKnights9 wrote:

When the guy said one check, OP should have said, "Please put mine on a seperate check." Also, as a female myself, I would have asked for my own check, too. When I was single, I didn't like it when guys tried to impress me by acting like big spenders, especially when they don't have the cash to cover their gesters.

Donutsmell wrote:

Only 164.00 for two 16 oz steaks, an 8 oz steak, whatever two entrees the girls got, and alcohol. What kind of steakhouse was this? NTA for not helping pay for the girls meals, but you should venmo the cost of your meal.

BC_Auron wrote:

You don't volunteer other people to pay for food they didn't eat. Venmo him exactly as much as you would have paid originally and say it was so nice of him to cover the ladies on his own.

Lucky_Volume3819 wrote:

What kind of steakhouse is only $164 for six people, with alcohol? That's cheap AF.

NTA. Dude was trying to impress girls with money he didn't even have.