'AITA for refusing to sell my car to my socially shy niece?' 'My sister called me a jerk.'
"AITA for refusing to sell my car to my socially shy niece?"
I just bought myself a new car, this leaves me with an extra car which I was doing to sell back to my dealership. It’s is a Toyota Corolla 2018 which is in good condition. My sister asked if I would be willing to sell it to my niece.
She is going to college in a few months and she will needs a car. My niece (I am going to call her Luna) has always been a socially shy person. I haven’t seen her much, I just moved back to my home state.
I told them I can bring it by to look at it. I get to their home and my sister and Luna were waiting. I start to show them the car and giving the basic information. I ask who will be buying it and my sister answers. She tells me that Luna is buying it and it will be in her name.
So I start speaking my to her or at least trying to. Ever question I asked her, her mom would answer. For example, I asked her how much she saved up? Her mom answered. I ask how soon would she need the car? Her mom answered.
I have heard like five words the whole time I have been here and it was when she was talking to her mom. I ask if she is interested in the car and her mom answer. I told my sister I asked Luna and wait for Luna to respond. I repeat the question and she doesn’t give an answer and just looks at her mom.
I inform both of them I am not willing to sell my car if the person buying it can not communicate with me. So I ask again what she thinks of the car, she turns around and walks inside.
I informed my sister I will not be selling Luna the car. We get into an argument that I shouldn’t have put her on the spot and I know she is shy. I point out that it her daughter can not communicate and she will be eaten alive at college. I told her I will be willing to sell it to Luna if she contacts me. My sister called me a jerk.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
SintPannekoek said:
ESH, with some doubt regarding the girl because of her age. Alright, I'll show my age now, but the girl has to overcome her fears somehow. Otherwise, she'll miss out on a lot of things that could be great for her.
That being said, the mom appears to be incredibly overbearing or enabling the girl's social ineptitude. Neither of those will do her any good. Sometimes a swift kick in the butt is what's needed, I'm not sure if this was the time. That, or therapy.
joyverse_ said:
YTA. You are not in any way obligated to sell your car to anyone. But I really don’t get why you were so triggered by your sister dynamic with Luna. Is your sister controlling ir overbearing in any way? Did you feel you need to teach your niece a lesson?
It’s not unheard of parents buying a car for their children, and it doesn’t seem that either of them was disrespectful to you. So it is really hard for me to understand what you were trying to achieve with such an adversarial interaction.
fabulousautie said:
You’re not obligated to sell your care to her, just like she’s not obligated to speak to you. But it’s really weird to act like you are teaching her some valuable life lesson by holding the car over her. Just move on and sell it to someone else. YTA for that part.
solidly_garbage said:
NTA. It's entirely possible she doesn't want the car, and her mom is pushing for it. If she can't give you a verbal confirmation of any sort... well, I wouldn't want anything to do with that.
Daisywalloper52 said:
NTA - for all we know her mom could be forcing her to buy this car off of you. You need to hear from her to know for certain she wants this car. This is a big purchase with her money, not her mother’s.
anonymousfemale404 said:
NTA - if Luna wants the car, she should handle at least SOME of the transaction. She WILL need to know how to do these things for the future, because she sure as shit isn't going to have that car her whole life. If she's going to college in a few months, then she's very likely an adult, and adults should be able to handle their own business.
Mom can help, but Luna's not making any effort to communicate with you, and doesn't appear willing to message you to talk about it either. That's a pretty low bar and to me feels rude that she wouldn't even attempt.
You're her uncle, not a stranger. She doesn't even know how lucky she is to even have this opportunity and that it's way less stressful to buy from family than it is to buy from a dealership that wants to sell you this, that, and another thing.
UPDATE:
I received a call form dad ( my Bil). I don't know what is going on in that family but he made it very clear to not sell the car to anyone ( I wasn't going to anyways).
In short Luna can not afford it and they are on debt. I don't know the specifics of what is happening so I am going to stay out of that. I will be selling my car to the dealership