'AITA for refusing to sell the expensive clothes my friend gave me to fund a couch?' UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to sell the expensive clothes my friend gave me?"
My husband (m30) wants me to sell designer clothes my well off friend gave me. The clothes total in 3k with two of the articles if clothing costing 1k and 1.5k.
The price tags were left on the articles of clothing. It's an extremely fancy brand I've only ever see on tv (Armani). I could never afford these articles of clothing and I was really excited to style it. I got special bags for them to stay in. I would (could) never purchase these.
My husband thinks I should sell them and that they'd help us afford a new couch. The idea of a few pieces of fabric being worth a couch is insane to me and I get why he wants to sell it but I don't want to. He's upset and saying I'm putting this fabric before our family's comfort. I think I'd offend my friend if I returned them and I also don't want to. AITA for refusing to return expensive clothes?
Not long after posting, OP shared an update.
Update to add: before I posted this i already started to look for a second hand couch. I found some from Ashley's for 100 each and they are in great condition. He wanted someone new but he's happy with it. I found a bunch of stuff around the house he can pawn that he doesn't use (oculous (sp?), switch, and a old games. I put them on market place.
I told him I wouldn't be selling the dresses, but he could sell the PS5 he never plays. We are good now. Thank you all for the reassurance I was feeling guilty for a moment but yall helped me flip the script and I think we got a good understanding now Answering questions: we aren't poor, our bills are paid. But we aren't rich.
I'm a frugal minimalist and I wanted our extra money to be saved for gifts for our kid this Christmas. We can't afford a brand new couch he wanted. In his defense, I'm frugal and I think he just wants something new and his. I told him we could sell the things I listed above and whatever else he wanted but not the dresses.
The internet had a lot of thoughts.
Storm101xx wrote:
Tell him to sell the PlayStation to fund the couch and when he says no, tell him he is putting electronics over his families comfort. (Or y’know insert valuable object here)
NTA.
OP responded:
You called it on the Playstation ngl
SoScalene wrote:
NTA. They’re yours, not his. If he got gifted something expensive that he really loved would he be willing to sell it? Regardless, a price tag is one thing but you might only get a fraction of what they’re “worth” if you’re able to successfully sell them in the first place.
Online reselling websites and brick and mortar consignments both will take substantial fees, but clothing in general doesn’t keep its value unless it’s a specific item that someone has been searching for in particular, but you can’t predict that.
For example, I recently purchased a cardigan from someone online for $40 even though it still had the original tags on it that priced it at $400. It’s an item that’s in season and from a well known brand.
You must also keep in mind that for a lot of these brands the price tag also factors in the experience of buying the item from a boutique and the prestige of it. People are willing to pay more when they get the whole personal shopper with champagne experience. Also, many would find it very offensive if you choose to sell a gift.
Bulldogfever96 wrote:
They belong to you. Obviously your friend wanted you to have them because she holds you in esteem. Your friend would be very offended to find out that you sold them. You should treasure those and wear them to your delight.
Prize-Bumblebee-2192 wrote:
NTA. The clothes are a gift you were given. They were not gifted to him. How would he feel if you told him to sell one of his possessions to finance the couch??
He doesn’t get to decide what you do with your things.
Weary-Chipmunk5668 wrote:
When I was a kid my mom’s good friend, who was quite well off, had a daughter a little older than me who would outgrow her fancy duds and passed them on to me. It was so fabulous wearing these expensive things that made me feel extra super in. We weren’t poor, but not in the position to spend like crazy.
I still remember several items I especially liked and I’m 75 now. Don’t let your husband ruin the joy of wearing something especially lovely can give you. you can’t sell them for enough to make it worth more than the pleasure they bring you.
FunBodyBuilder4620 wrote:
NTA. They are your presents. And most likely you would get only a fraction of what your friend paid for them, maybe 50%. Even though they are new with tags, they are still secondhand and unless they are limited edition, aren’t super collectible.
TopUsual7678 wrote:
Not to mention, I tried selling brand new expensive designer clothes with tags on those various popular online sites. You will get nowhere near what you think you're going to get for them. Unless you know someone who wants to buy them directly from you, maybe that would work.
I stopped selling them because I was lucky if got 15% of what they cost and they were brand new with tags . I had a Bogner coat for example that cost thousands that I gave to a family Member in the end because I wasn't going to let a stranger get that expensive coat for 10% of what I paid for it Pocketbooks may yield a little more.
CrazyMeansCreative wrote:
NTA to be honest, I will not even keep them near your husband. I feel that he will come one day and will be gone and you will have a new couch…
JujulaBee wrote:
NTA. If the clothing retails for $3000 you would be lucky to get $750 but probably wouldn’t get even that. Armani makes beautiful clothing and a lot of his stuff is timeless. Better to have a few exquisite pieces that YOU feel wonderful in rather than a closet of cheap crap.