'AITA for refusing to share my Christmas gift from work?' 'I honestly don't think I'm selfish.'

"AITA for refusing to share my Christmas gift from work?"

For context: both my wife (43f) and I (42m) started new jobs this year. My job has better conditions in general, but I also pay for almost our expenses: rent, food, bills, etc, as she’s working part time. One of the benefits she gets is discounts for many brand products from different shops, so she’s been able to get herself some nice things.

When I asked if I could get something I was looking for with her discount she said she didn’t feel comfortable doing that, alright fine. Well, last week my company gave me a gift card with around $200, and when she found out, she started planning on how to spend the money without even asking me.

I simply told her I didn’t know what I was going to use the money for as I have until the end of June 2025 to use it, but that I didn’t want to spend it on stuff for the house, as I want it to go towards something I want.

Now she’s mad at me saying I’m being selfish, but I honestly don’t think I am. For context, when she used her discounts to get stuff, it was all for her, not for us, so I don’t see why me doing the same would make me the bad guy here.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

selling_petrol_ said:

NTA it’s your money and there is some double standards here. I think referring to when she used her discounts they weren’t for you, and this was something you got from work that you want to decide how to spend. If she doesn’t take the boundary well I would have a bigger conversation about what is shared vs personal.

QtK_Dash said:

I try not to judge other people’s relationships but what the hell is this? Who doesn’t allow their spouse to use their discount? Is it limited? Given the “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours” attitude, I’d say NTA.

RaineMist said:

NTA. She can't be mad about that when she was uncomfortable with you using her discount but not uncomfortable with using your gift card.

BrokenViolet said:

This is definitely a NTA. As another comment said, she set the standard about the work benefits. She gets a discount on stuff she buys for herself, and now, thanks to this gift card, you will as well for what you buy for yourself. What's good for the goose...

FloorShowoff said:

NTA. It’s unsettling and ironic that she began planning how to use your gift card without consulting you, and then had the nerve to call you selfish.

UnusualPotato1515 said:

NTA. Tell her you dont feel comfortable for her to use your gift card much like she has been uncomfortable for you to use her store discounts. How are you selfish for saying no when she’s been saying no to you all this time?