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'AITA for refusing to wear white at my brother-in-law’s gender reveal party?'

'AITA for refusing to wear white at my brother-in-law’s gender reveal party?'

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"AITA for refusing to wear white at my brother-in-law’s gender reveal party?"

My brother-in-law is hosting a gender reveal party for his first child. Let’s call brother-in-law Sam. I’ll be using fake names. So Sam invited my fiancée, Dean (again, fictional name - yes, I’m using supernatural characters because I have no creativity lol), and told him I should be his plus one. Okay, nothing wrong with that. I thought it a bit odd because the invite said the following: “Every guest and their plus ones MUST EACH bring gifts to the party. Yours is: Medium Diapers (108 pants or more) + a gift to mom and dad” - The sheer audacity of asking mom and dad a gift, and not the baby. Moving on…

The invite didn’t said a word about the dress code, so I thought of wearing business casual which is what I wear on a daily basis. It wasn’t until yesterday I found out Sam and his girlfriend wanted all the invitees to wear ALL WHITE. I freaked out, because Dean, my fiancée has an old all white formal attire he’s borrowing from his dad, but my family in general just hates white clothes, so obviously I had nothing, not even a shirt. I asked Sam if it’s okay if I choose to wear a jumpsuit.

The style it’s pretty close of what I wear on a daily basis so I thought maybe I could pair this with black or maybe chose a color to go with it and use it afterwards. Sam loved the and immediately said yes. Not even 20 minutes go by and my MIL pulls me aside and says “I wouldn’t waste any money if I were you."

Sam and his girlfriend, Berta, wants us to wear all white because they are planning on spray paint the guests with blue or pink - depends on the gender. I’m considering what to wear also because I don’t want any of my clothes ruined specially because I would wear a thing or two I use in court sessions, so please be mindful about that" (MIL is an attorney). I had no idea that was his plans.


Dean told me I was being inconsiderate for saying I was gonna wear black if they refuse to let me out of this paint mess. MIL stood by my side and said she wouldn’t be wearing white too if I wasn’t comfortable, since she wasn’t very comfortable herself, and that she would wear all black with me. They didn’t inform the guests they are planning to ruin everyone’s outfit, so MIL is basically telling everyone she can, not to spend a ton of money on their outfits and Sam’s plans.

I personally asked Sam if I could be left out of the paint thing and he seemed offended, and refused. I asked again saying MIL wasn’t comfortable with his idea either and he said “f*ck both of you, this is MY party, why can’t you just do this one silly thing to cheer me up?"

I replied “well, we’d both gladly would go shopping together for some nice jumpsuit or a basic dress, but since MIL isn’t happy nor comfortable with it I thought about asking you if we could please be left out of the paint prank," and for my surprise he answered “wow. I’m glad the two of you b1tches agree in ruining mine and Berta’s day!”

I just said “Bro, this is a gender reveal, not a wedding and I don’t see why you being so rude to me since you are always so nice. Makes no f-ing sense. But that’s okay if you wanna play the dadzilla role, have fun at your day, not your future kid’s day, your day” and left.

This party is happening next Sunday (4/28). I don’t know if I should just stay home and call it a day to avoid conflict or if I should go anyways. I also don’t know if I’m being an ahole for not wanting to spend about $100 on a jumpsuit to wear it only once and throw it away. I won’t ask what his girlfriend thinks because 1- I don’t wanna risk pissing off a pregnant woman 2- they’ve been together for 5 months (she’s pregnant for 4 months), so I barely know her. She’s not a talker also, which doesn’t help at all.

I don’t know if I’m being the a-hole here for not wanting to spend on a new outfit just for it to be ruined + the diapers + the gifts for Sam and his gf I barely know. Just for context: Me - 26yo, Female MIL isn’t Sam’s biological mother, she just married Sam’s father. Dean isn’t his biological brother either, and his mom is my mother in law. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

SnooRecipes9891 said:

NTA and how absolutely pretentious and entitled.

MistressDamned said:

NTA...wow, just wow...MIL is a lawyer...she might want to point out that if the paint gets in someones eyes and causes issues...or if there's an allergic reaction to the paint used...the gender reveal will turn into a lawsuit against the parents real quick.

rhodante said:

NTA AT ALL!!! The correct way to go about this spray painting prank is to give every single guest a single use white coverall, and spray paint that coverall!!! That way no outfits gets ruined, everyone has a fun time spray painting each other like a water gun fight and people even have the option of keeping the coveralls as mementos of the baby shower.

changelingcd said:

NTA. Stay home. His idea is stupid and selfish, his present list is stupid and selfish, and his reaction was stupid and selfish. I wouldn't waste a penny on these morons who were too dumb to use birth control (or even get an abortion) and are stuck having an unwanted baby with an unwanted stranger, and need to make everyone else miserable to match.

Whether you go or not, warn every guest you can reach about this horrific spraypaint plan. If somebody pulled that on me without warning, I might get physically violent, and these idiots think everyone will just smile and cheer. Gender party reveals are dumb at the best of times, but this is just beyond the pale.

Beneficial_Breath232 said:

NTA If they are planning to paint-spray everyone, the guests need to be on board or the hosts are providing clothes/blouses for the guest BEFORE the spraying. If someone told me "Everyone need to wear white" I am thinking, the star of the day will be wearing colors and they want high contrast for the pictures, not that the hosts want to soil my whole attire!

Ok_Stable7501 said:

I hate gender reveals with the fire of 1000 suns. Every time I start to cool down a bit on the issue, I read something like this. We need to start issuing permits for people who want to reproduce and if you mention gender reveal in the application, it’s an automatic denial.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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