'AITA for reminding an old classmate what he said to me years ago after I found out where he works?'
"AITA for reminding an old classmate what he said to me years ago after I found out where he works?"
I (23M) had a classmate back in high school. I wouldn't exactly call him a close friend, but we were more than just classmates. We talked sometimes and were generally cool with each other. Back then I had already started working out, and he used to call me “ripped,” so we got along fine.
After high school we went our separate ways, but we were still friends on Facebook. One day we ended up chatting, and I honestly don’t even remember how the conversation turned sour. But he suddenly got really hostile and started insulting me. It escalated to the point where he created a group chat with some of his classmates just to talk trash about me.
They were all saying things about me, but one thing he said stuck with me all these years. He said: “You’ll probably end up as a computer shop attendant anyway.”
That hit me hard at the time, especially because we were both studying Information Technology. It felt like he was saying I would never amount to anything.
Fast forward to now. I’m working remotely for a company. No RTO, fully work-from-home. I get to keep most of my salary since I don’t spend much on transportation or food outside. I can help my family financially, and after work I can literally just lay down and rest. Overall, life turned out pretty good for me.
Earlier today, I randomly ran into him. I noticed he was wearing a white uniform, so I thought maybe he was still studying or doing some kind of internship. I asked him, “Are you still studying?”
He said no, he’s already working.
Turns out he works at an automotive company as technical support. It’s a decent job, nothing wrong with it, but from what he told me, he earns a lot less than what I currently make.
I’ll admit something here: the moment he told me that, the memory of what he said years ago immediately came back to my mind.
So I said something along the lines of, “Oh, that’s cool. At least you didn’t end up as a computer shop attendant like you said I would.”
He kind of went quiet after that and the conversation became awkward. Later I started wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have said that and just let the past stay in the past.
Part of me feels justified because what he did back then really hurt me and stuck with me for years. But another part of me thinks I might have been petty for bringing it up.
So AITA for reminding him of what he said to me back then?
OP said this about the situation:
I might be the a^%&le because I brought up an old insult years later in a way that was meant to throw it back at him and compare our situations now. Even though what he said back then hurt me, I could have just kept the conversation polite and moved on instead of making the comment. My remark made the interaction awkward and could have come across as petty or like I was looking down on him.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
The fact this bothers you tells you your behavior was beneath your expectations for yourself. How you treat others shapes you. If you see him again apologize and explain that his comment had rattled around in your head. BTW. High school kids project their own fears for themselves.
The old friend was an as&^%le as a teenager, which isn’t all that unusual.
The OP was an a*#$ole as an adult.
ESH. No one likes a sore winner, true "revenge" is thriving in life to the point you don't carry trauma over such petty events. You have one of the most privileged existences on the planet and still cling to teenage drama. He was younger when he was an asshole so you definitely come off looking more a^%$olely in this situation though.
alfredodiliman OP:
Most privileged?? Look at my other comment.
Mild YTA.
You carried that line around for years waiting for the comeback moment. The real win would have been not caring anymore.
NTA, this is the kind of pettiness I can get behind!
NTA. that wasn’t even that harsh honestly. you just quoted his own words back to him lol. he said it, not you. if hearing his own insult repeated back years later made him uncomfortable then maybe he should’ve never said it in the first place.
Yeah, YTA here. It was probably very satisfying to say, but you took a conversation to a hurtful place due to your being hurt in the past. That makes it very understandable and perhaps even justified, but still AH territory.
If you want a litmus test for being an AH, if you're punching down you are one. If you're punching up you're not.
Later OP added this in the comments:
For the people saying I’ve been holding onto this for years, I really haven’t. It bothered me for a few months back then, but after that we never spoke again. I muted the group chat they made about me and moved on.
He never apologized either. Whenever we happened to see each other after that, he’d just ignore me. The only reason I even remembered what he said was when I saw him earlier and he told me about his job. That’s when the exact line came back to me: “You’ll probably end up as a computer shop attendant anyway.”
For context, life wasn’t exactly easy for me. My mom died before I even started college, and my father has basically been absent from our lives. I’m the breadwinner for my family and I have two younger sisters who depend on me. So when I say what they did back then hurt, especially what he said, it really did.
Back then he made a whole group chat just to talk trash about me with his friends. They laughed at me and treated me like I was already a failure. I never fought back. I just focused on working hard and proving to myself that I could build a better life.
So when I saw him again years later and realized the future he mocked me for never actually happened, I guess part of me wanted him to hear those words again.
Maybe that makes me a little petty. But after everything that happened back then, I won’t pretend it didn’t feel a bit satisfying.