'AITA for ruining my daughter's dream Disney World marriage proposal?'

"AITA for ruining my daughter's dream Disney World marriage proposal?"

My (51f) daughter Sarah (29f) is a lesbian who is now engaged to Lily (32f). During Sarah's childhood, on multiple occasions, she had told me that her dream place to get engaged was Disney World.

When Lily told me she wanted to propose to my daughter, I suggested Disney World. For Sarah's 29th birthday, her birthday present was that Lily and I were taking her to Disney World for her first time there. Sarah seemed so happy. This part is relevant to later events, she wore grey sweats, sneakers, and no makeup.

While having fun, she got "sweaty and stinky" (her words). She looked the happiest I've ever seen my daughter. I was filming her with my phone. Later that day, Lily proposed to Sarah and Sarah said yes then kissed her. I thought my daughter got her dream marriage proposal.

But later that week, Lily expressed to me that Sarah told her that she didn't like how both of them looked and smelled on her 29th birthday. That Sarah said if she had known this was going to be a proposal place instead of just a birthday present, she would have made sure that both of them looked like a princess.

I told Lily to let me tell Sarah that Disney World was my idea but Lily said she doesn't want me to take the blame. I had to beg Lily to allow me to take the blame before she gave me permission.

When I told Sarah that Disney World was my idea, she lost it on me. She said how could I allowed her to look that way on her proposal. That I should have made sure she looked like a princess, and made sure the proposal came early in the day so she doesn't get messy having fun before the proposal.

Despite her telling me Disney World was her dream proposal place, she was completely surprised. Am I the ahole?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

lychigo said:

NTA. She's 29. If she looks like a schlub, why isn't that on her? Why should her mother have to nag her to look presentable when going to Disney World instead of a Walmart shopper?

She would have b'ed at you about nagging her to look good and been in a foul mood all day, and not thank you for helping her look good for the proposal. You didn't ruin anything.

AltrixMysterious304 said:

NTA. A proposal should be about the moment, not how you look in the pictures of it. It was literally her dream to be surprised at Disney World with a proposal and you not only helped make that happen but also footed the bill for the vacation that made it possible.

She can be a beautiful perfect looking princess that smells like roses at her shower, bachelorette party, wedding day...she should focus on the beautiful memory she gets to have forever, not how she looked.

CarbonS0ul said:

NTA. Your daughter dressing for comfort at Disney World was a choice she made. Lily for her part could have hinted to Sarah to dress nicer for a proposal without giving the real reason.

IrrelevantManatee said:

NTA. Your kid doesn't want a marriage, she wants a wedding, and she is just trying to find scapegoat for everything that doesn't measure up to her exact expectations.

unsolicited-advice1 said:

NTA. There’s so much positive happening beyond what she looked like- she should be ecstatic she’s engaged AND it happened at her dream location. Instead she’s being a monster about the details.

Does she actually want this? Is she mature enough for marriage? Or is she just this bitter and negative all the time? No matter what, you should not feel bad about her gross overreaction.

RichardBachman19 said:

NTA. People need to get over the idea of looking spontaneously glamorous for their proposal.