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'AITA for saying I was no longer going to babysit my mother's kids for free?' UPDATED 3X

'AITA for saying I was no longer going to babysit my mother's kids for free?' UPDATED 3X

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Saying no to your parents when you're still a teenager can lead to some serious repercussions, even if you're in the right.

"AITA for saying I am no longer going to babysit my mother's kids?"

I am a 14-year-old (F) struggling with a home issue and need help, my mom (35F) has recently been asking me to babysit her kids 7M, 10M, and 6F, more often ever since summer hit. Her and her husband (40M) work during the day, and needed me, I had no problem babysitting. I live with my grandparents but my mom has full custody of me.

I have my mom pick me up when she needs me out at her house to babysit keep in mind I do babysit for FREE 4 out of the 7 days of the week sometimes more than that depending on how busy they are. It's been months and I have been slowly getting more tired and not wanting to babysit anymore, it's become draining with the kids never listening too me and always picking a fight.

I do admit I have an attitude when I get frustrated and stressed out but that's normal for girls my age. My parents have been bad with not taking me back home to my grandparents, keeping me there for literal days watching the kids, with no spare clothes or any of my soaps for a shower.

I am really picky when it comes to that kinda stuff so I don't use theirs unless I feel like I need to. At first when they would make me spend the night they would say "we are going to be home to late to drop you off" or make other excuses I thought nothing of it and just spent the night.

Now they don't tell me anything until I start asking to go home which they always reply with "when I feel like it" or "in a minute" it always end up with them not taking me home at all. This is where my attitude kicks in. I start telling them that they need to take me home, they don't like it when I "tell them instead of asking" but at this point I don't care.

When I ask they rarely bring me home. It pisses me off alot. I have been in multiple argument with my parents telling them that they need to start bring me home or I will no longer babysit. Every once in a while after like two days of continuously babysitting three kids my parents will hand me a 20 dollar bill.

I am thankful for that but they only started to do it because I have made threats of quiting. Like I said this is VERY draining mentality, tonight I got in another fight with my parents about the whole situation. I was mad at her for saying that she was going to take me home but then two hours later of asking she still hasn't took me home.

I was already not in a good mood due to something that happened this morning so I already upset after two hours of waiting for her I went in the room to ask her when we were leaving once again she told me in a minute and I had enough I said to her that she had to take me home and that I'm not spending the night anymore and that I was no longer going to babysit for her.

Both my parents got mad at me for saying that they then said that they were not going to bring me home now because they did not like that I was telling them what to do. They then went on to say that living with my grandparents was a privilege And I need to appreciate it, She then said that she can make me live out with her.

My mom has a 3 bedroom house occupying, her, her husband, three kids, and a roommate, plus two dogs. Her house is packed with all three kids crammed In a small bedroom. This argument was over text and I still haven't responded to her last message, I have no idea what to do as they wont take me home and I cant walk to my grandparents. Please if you have and thoughts or suggestions.

The internet had OP's back.

Old-Length1272 wrote:

NTA. It’s disgusting to me when people use their kids as babysitters. Stop having kids you can’t take care of. I would start telling my grandparents I don’t want to go over anymore and join summer school clubs and use the “I have homework” excuse. Involve your teachers more incase you need adults to talk to if your grandparents allow your parents to keep treating you this way.

They’re getting too comfortable using you as a babysitter. No one forced them to not one but three kids. Obviously that comes with responsibilities. They chose to have when they willingly had you guys!

Sensitive-Ad-5406 wrote:

"Move me back in, just know the second you leave those kids with me, I'll call the authorities about abandoning minors. Parentification is a form of ab#se as well. I didn't have kids, YOU DID."

NTA.

OK-Rip2794 wrote:

NTA once home try not to go back, tell them your not watching their kids anymore. That they chose to have them and they are their responsibility. Remind them you are a child, that you are their child that they’ve already neglected enough and that your done with this ab#se. I’d record or send in text that you do not agree to ever watch them again and if they leave them alone with you, you will call the authorities.

freshneighborhoodd wrote:

I totally get where you're coming from. It sounds like you're being taken advantage of and not being treated fairly. Your parents should respect your boundaries and not make you feel like you're stuck in a situation you don't want to be in. It's understandable that you're frustrated and feel like you're being drained. You deserve better, and it's okay to set limits and prioritize your own needs.

Three days later, OP shared an update.

Since my last post I still haven't been taken home...they said I would be taken home today and then left and did not come back until almost 2:00am , I stayed up waiting for them only to get into another argument but this time with just my step dad. My step dad is a manchild.

I ignored him when he came inside because I was upset and didn't want to end up crying he got mad and took my phone then threw it at my leg and said that I can stay here because of my "attitude." So looks like I will not be going home anytime soon. I will probably keep you guys updated but I'm very upset right now and can't give a proper update so I apologize.

The internet continued to give OP advice.

Dizzy_Cellist1355 wrote:

Ask your grandparents to pick you up early in the morning before they all wake up and don’t come back.

kesseLocomotive wrote:

Are you ok OP? Your stepfather just threw a small brick at you. This suddenly turned a lot more serious.

OP responded:

I'm okay thank you for asking.

Shatoradragon wrote:

OP call the police. Right now the best way to help your step sibs is to get out and get stable the authorities will have it on record that one child was removed for safety from the house. They will weight that should you call back and report your step sibs are being hurt. Best both you and step sibs are taken to your grandparents.

Big-Tomorrow2187 wrote:

Seriously call your grandparents, the authorities and CPS. Do it when they’re gone, so they can’t lie and tell the authorities everything. This is not okay. If the kids were/are old enough to take care of themselves, honestly I would just leave and call CPS when you’re at your grandparents.

Eleven hours, OP shared another update.

Update! My grandparents picked me up and got into a argument with my parents so it's safe to say that they are siding with me...they are letting me rest for a bit rn but tomorrow they are inviting my parents over to dinner to talk about this problem. I told them about me no longer babysitting and my grandma agreed with me and said it was my choice but idk about my grandpa as he didn't say anything but I'm home now!!

Four days later, OP shared another update.

Sorry I forgot to update you guys. I had dinner with my parents and they made an agreement with my grandparents that it's best if I stay here (with my grandparents) my parents also slipped me 70 bucks. IDK if they thought that I would be happy with the money and forget about what happened but me and my mom are fine and talking. My step dad is ignoring me not that I care though.

My grandparents have apologized to me for not handling this sooner as they didn't know that they were keeping me there against my will. So far everything is going good so thank you guys.

The commenters had a lot to say.

-my-cabbages wrote:

"Cool, $70. That really makes up for the emotional and physical ab#se, and holding me against my will for days. Let's stay in-touch"

*They did not stay in touch.

maywellflower wrote:

Why do feel like the mom is only talking due whatever inheritance the grandparents have and doesn't want to be disowned if knows what good for her regarding what she did to OP. And stepfather pissed because he actually now has both parent his kids and pay the $100-$200 a day/night babysitter for his 3 kids.

I hope you use and ab#se the "I don't want visit nor sleep overnight at your home ever again after what happened, mom - I'll meet you at grandparents place from now on." Because I highly doubt your mom is sincere and truly sorry for using you like that for her three replacement kids with stepfather.

DBGirl73 wrote:

$70 isn't even enough to pay for a new phone after your stepfather has thrown yours at your leg. Your mom is the one who's responsible for everything, she's the one who married your stepfather and she's the one pressuring you to babysit and lock you up in her home. If she cared, she would have never done all these things. Do your grandparents get custody?

yeoldladyhidro wrote:

Hold your ground, kiddo. I am the oldest sibling. When I was your age, my parents would have me babysit my younger siblings while they worked or went out, but at the same time, I also never had any authority to do anything.

It was really really frustrating as a 14 year old girl to try to navigate and it ultimately hurt my relationship with my siblings, who viewed me as a parental, no fun figure for most of our childhood.

I'm 34 and have two sons of my own. I will not do the same to them. I never stood up for myself. Your step dad is not safe. Your mom should be making sure there is space and things for you if she's going to keep you there. You, at 14, should not be consistently watching 3 other children. It isn't feasible.

Don't let them talk you into continuing. For your sake, for the sake of any future relationship with your siblings. Make sure you start writing down and recording everything and emailing it to yourself so they can't delete it. All of the hugs to you, little love.

[deleted] wrote:

Where is your bio dad in all of this? Also wondering why you’re with your grandparents in the first place if your mother has full custody?

OP responded:

Well my bio dad is out of my life as I want nothing to do with him because of issues we have and I went to my grandparents because my mom and step dad spilt up and we moved in with my grandparents but after a while they got back together.

My step dad moved into a smaller home so when my mom moved back in she left me and my brother with our grandparents because are school was down the road and his new house was in a different town she didn't want us to switch schools. Plus there was no room

Sources: Reddit
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