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'AITA for selling my wedding dress so that my sister can't have it?' UPDATED 2X

'AITA for selling my wedding dress so that my sister can't have it?' UPDATED 2X


"AITA for selling my wedding dress, so my sister can't have it?"

Hello people, I am a 30 yo American woman. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend, and later, fiancée for 5 years, we had an amazing relationship, and I still love him. The thing is, he is from a foreign country living in America, he took care of some family franchise here, and my mom and my sister never liked him, they never gave me a reason to dislike him, so I assume It's because he isn't white.

My mom is very old-fashioned and always badmouths non-white people, so that makes sense to me. 3 years ago, 2 months before our wedding, he went to his home country for a business trip, and then he disappeared, we still don't know what happened to him, maybe he was kidnapped, but we got no ransom, so maybe he could have been forcibly recruited into some guerrilla army.

In his country, this happens a lot. I went for a full season to his country trying to find him, but it was useless, so I came back to America. I had already bought my wedding dress, and I had it there hanging in my closet, while I waited for a miracle. NGL, I cried so many times while holding that dress.

My sister is getting married soon, and a few weeks ago, she came into my house, she just wanted to chat in the beginning, but then she asked me to give her my wedding dress. I told her no, that it's the dress for my future wedding, but my sister just told me "He is already dead anyway, get over it, and you won't need it". I started crying and kicked her out of my house.

Later that day my mom came into my house, demanding to give my dress to my sister, she also said that my fiancé is already dead. I was shocked, and wanted to end the discussion, but she kept fighting and disrespecting my fiancé, and I kicked her out.

They kept harassing me for the dress, until I got tired of them, I went to my best friend, who has a sister that is going to marry in a few months. I could sell them the dress for a cheap. They were hesitant, but finally accepted my dress and I got a bit of money, I'll be granted a special sit at the wedding in return.

I told my mom and sister that I sold my dress, but that only made the harassment worst, and now they are demanding to take it back. I don't know, was I wrong?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

[–]TaiwanBandit said:

Because your family had no respect for your fiancé, they assumed the dress meant nothing. You had intimate and emotional ties to this dress. My first thought was to burn it in the fireplace instead of letting them use it. They can't shop for their own unique dress? I hope you get some closure from your fiancé being missing.

Perhaps doing jail time for some bogus charges when he returned to his country. Like others have mentioned I would cut contact with your mom and sister. Good Luck.

[–]LunaLaeta said:

NTA. Your sister and mother don’t deserve anything from you, including your time. I’m so sorry this happened to you and sincerely wish you the best!

[–]Electrical_Age_6542 said:

NTA. Sorry, why do you still talk to those people who have such an atrocious mouth?

[–][deleted] said:

Absolutely NTA. I'm so sorry to hear what happened, OP and I really hope your fiancé is safe and can return to you. Your mom and sister are absolutely heartless.

[–]ShesNotNice said:

Omg I'm so sorry! NTA at all! I would change my number and move. Get away from that horrible family. Do not attend the wedding and find peace.

[–]MythologicalRiddle said:

NTA. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. I would have shredded the dress with a knife before I let your sister use the dress. I'm glad you found a good person who could cherish it.

Edit: I am so grateful for everyone who shared their support. It means the world to me. And thanks to a wonderful person who talked to me in the DM's who comes from my fiancée's country and shared her story with me, god bless her. I will do as much as I can to cut contact with my mom and sister, and that includes to disappear as much as I can from the internet to get some piece of mind.

But I can't and don't want to move out, because my fiancée helped to buy the house for both of us, and the day he comes back, I want him to be welcomed at his home. I also send the post to my friend to see it, and we had a good heart whelming talk, and she will always be by my side. Thank you all for uplifting me, and giving me motivation to move on. God bless you, you all are angels.

She later shared this final update:

First, I want to tell you how much I appreciate all the angels that shared their support, and gave me hope, and wished the best for my fiancée. My fiancée is still missing, but I have an update from my mom and sister story.

My immediate actions after my post, were to deactivate all of my social media accounts, or delete them. For now, I communicate thought text messages now. I blocked my mom and sister, and had a few days of peace.

I decided to behave badly for once in my life, and, by suggestion from one of you guys, I bought the cheapest wedding dress I found online. I wanted to send it to my sister with a letter, but one morning, my mom and sister came to my home. They knocked on the door so hard that I thought they were going to take it down.

I opened the door, and they started asking why I went no contact, and if I got my dress back. I said "Wait a second" closed the door, got the cheap dress from upstairs, came back, opened the door again, and said "Here is your dress, enjoy it" throwing the dress to my sister's face. I was closing the door, but my mom stopped me and pushed me inside the house, letting herself and my sister enter.

She started screaming in my face, until she cornered me and kept screaming a lot about how ungrateful I am, that she didn't raise me to be so rude, that I deserve everything that happened and will happen to me, that my fiancée was an illegal alien using me to stay in this country, that the children who disrespect their mothers will burn for eternity, and a lot of other hurtful things.

My sister went upstairs, she left a total mess trying to find my dress, my whole closet was all over the place, along with the contents of my dresser and my makeup kits, when they couldn't find it, they just left. I cried in my sofa for the entire day, and couldn't sleep at night. The next day I got a call, it was my sister's fiancé.

He asked me: "What happened to the dress?" My mom told him that I was going to sell them an unused dress, and made a lot of excuses for why they couldn't get it yet. I told him the full story, crying. He listened to it politely, and he apologized for his fiancée behavior, and hung up.

Like, 10 hours later, he called me again, he said he spent the whole day arguing with my sister and mom, and that they won't bother me again, because there'll be no wedding. He wished me good luck, and then hung up. I wasn't sure if that was real, so I called him again, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. He told me that he cancelled the wedding and will move back to his hometown.

I felt very bad for breaking up my sister's relationship, but I was also glad that, it's finally over for me. Also, I'm booking a therapist, I really need it. Thank god, this whole situation was just too much, I hope god can forgive me.

Sources: Reddit
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