'AITA for showing up to a couples event against the will of my fiancée?'

"AITA for showing up to a couples event against the will of my fiancée?"

He writes:

I (24M) recently showed up 'unsolicited' to a couples event my fiancée (27F) was invited to 'in a professional capacity'. She is currently very pissed at me. My fiancée is an attorney. She's been working at a firm for some time since graduating law school. Every year the local bar association organizes this event where attorneys from the area are invited to network and see some old palls from college.

The invitation also goes out to the partner of said attorney. Last year I went together with her and had a merry good old time. I saw some guys there, who also work at her firm, that frequent the performance engine shop where I work as a mechanic. We share similar interests and we pretty much hit it off immediately (we still hang out every now and then).

The event got pretty rowdy towards the end (contrary to popular belief a lot of these attorney types aren't the goody two-shoes they pretend to be) and I (amongst others) ended up on stage singing to classics such as Journey's 'Don't stop believin'' (love that song). However, my fiancée ended up experiencing that night very differently.

She pretty much went off by herself during the entire thing. She told me she spent the night networking with a few established attorneys and some old acquintances. She also told me she got a bit embarassed by my actions towards the end and that she would like to put on a professional demeanor in front of her colleagues and expected that of me too.

Now, mind you, we often go off the deep end in the weekends and she doesn't have a problem with me acting like the fool I am then! So last week when I mentioned how excited I was to go with her again this year, she flat out rejected me! She told me I wouldn't be able to properly behave myself in front of her fellow members of the bar and that was that.

I tried promising her that I would be on my best behavior, but "No means no!" was the final answer. Why would you be embarassed of going to an event with your significant other just for being the person he is? Certainly if that very partner promises to be as innocent as grace itself! The event is literally meant for couples...

Initially I wasn't gonna go, but my newfound friends whatsapped me and I thought "to hell with it". So I got there early, joined up with them (saying she was gonna run late), texted her, had a few drinks, and when she arrived almost got dragged out of the party. I got stomped into my car with strict guidelines to go home and was whipped into motion!

Not wanting to make a scene I drove off, got two honey butter chicken biscuits from whataburger and spent the rest of the night netflixing. Fun times.

A week later she is still pissed as hell at me for not respecting her boundaries. I've been sleeping on the couch since then. In the meanwhile I can sort of find the humor in her not wanting to lose face in front of her fancy pants colleagues because of her 'oddball' (it truly isn't that bad tho) fiancé. But she still can't. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

ProbatWork1313 said:

YTA BIG TIME!!! She told you she didn't want you to attend this event because you embarrassed her last year, so you lie about it and go anyway?!?! Is there any possible interpretation of these facts that allows you to believe you are not the a$$hole?!?! Because I honestly don't see how that is possible in any way, shape or form.

MichaelScottOfReddit said:

YTA yeah this is so obnoxious. I remember seeing a post on relationship advice where a girl did this to her boyfriend, and he dumped her right away. And I remember everyone agreeing that he was right to do so since she had sabotaged his career.

OP did the same here. You're lucky she hasn't dumped you. You're lucky she hasn't even kicked you out bro. Don't mess with her professional life, start taking her seriously. You straight up disrespected her after she made it very clear that she doesn't want you to come. Learn the difference between personal and professional lives.

StateOfContusion said:

Yeah, YTA. She said don't go and you did anyway. Last year you behaved in a manner that her co-workers could get away with but was maybe not appropriate for the s/o of an employee. You seem to not recognize the difference between a corporate event where your fiancee wants to put her best foot forward to get on the right track and a regular weekend.

[deleted] said:

YTA. So, last year you got trashed and embarrassed her at a company event. This year, she didn't want you to come, but you showed up anyways. If she's still engaged to you at this point, she's a saint.

DeliciousBarnacles said:

YTA. It wasn’t a “couples event.” It was a networking event. SOs are the arm candy in those scenarios; they’re there to support their partners working in that field. And you embarrassed her.

Siren_of_Madness said:

YTA. And you continue the a$$holery by refusing to understand what you did wrong. You embarassed her at a work function. You were behaving foolishly and should respect that this is her JOB. You behaving like a drunk frat boy reflects badly on HER.

THEN you doubled down, went completely against her wishes, and FURTHER embarrassed her AGAIN. Dude. Seriously? You don't see how you messed up here?

vakarianne said:

YTA and your arrogant, "who, me, misbehave?? Can you believe she's acting like this??" attitude in this post makes you sound like a complete and utter creep.

Bodymaster said:

YTA. She gave you clear reasons why she didn't want you to show up and you did anyway. You may not agree with her decision, but you should have respected it, she clearly takes her work seriously, and now you've given her the impression that you do not.

It's pretty clear what the consensus is here: YTA.

Hopefully he learned from this!