'AITA for singing at my husband's coworker's wedding?' 'He just had this stink face.'
"AITA for singing at my husband's coworker's wedding?"
I saw a post earlier that reminded me of this and it didn't happen too long ago. I go back and forth between thinking it was no big deal and that my husband was right so I thought I'd get some thoughts.
My husband [30M] of 3 years and I [29F] attended the wedding of his coworker last week. I only knew 3 other people at the wedding, my husband's other coworkers. It was outdoors and people were just kind of huddling in their own little groups.
At a certain point, they started playing a song that is a typical white-people-karaoke-song but it's one of my favorites so I went booking it to the dance floor. When I got there the DJ was asking people over and over again to sing the song... he was putting his microphone out towards the guests and no one wanted to do it. So I said screw it, let's go.
There was no open bar so I'd had two beers at that point, I was not drunk or even tipsy. I got the mic and sang the song and it actually got some people's attention, more came towards the dance floor and were joining in to sing. (just your typical song like Piano Man or Sweet Caroline where everyone knows the words.)
I finished, some people clapped, I gave the mic back. On my way back the groomsmen and groom grabbed me to say I did a great job, they had me do a shot of whiskey with them, then I went to my original group. I was beaming and so excited but my husband...he just had this stink face.
One of his coworkers asked him "Did you see what [OP] just did?! That was amazing!" and my husband said "Yeah...this isn't the first time she's pulled something like that."
I immediately deflated. He made it sound like I had embarrassed him. I stayed quiet for the rest of the evening and he never said anything to me afterwards about it; I figured if I had upset him we could talk about me singing, but he never brought it up and I was too embarrassed because he made it seem like I just acted like a total idiot. So AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
TemptingPenguin369 said:
NTA. Was your husband telling the truth when he said "his isn't the first time she's pulled something like that"? It seems like harmless fun, but I'm curious why he said that about you.
Equivalent-One-5499 said:
Soft YTA. Look if this was a wedding of his non-work friends, I’d say N T A. But this is with his work colleagues. Workplace relationships can be fraught for some, even with colleagues they are closest to. The way I behave with my closest friends sometimes differ from how I behave around colleagues even those I’m closer to.
If I was going to my partner’s colleague’s wedding, I’d follow his lead in terms of behavior, and if he was not calling attention to himself with something like this I would not do so either.
You say it was getting awkward that no one was singing, but I’m not sure why you thought I fell on you (a spouse of a colleague of one of the couple) when even the couple’s own family and closest friends weren’t, and surely you’d have seen that would draw even more attention to you as the only person doing it?
But I’m extrapolating here based on a pretty basic understanding of the fact the people behave differently in different settings, but if you want to truly know how your husband felt, you’ll obviously have to speak to him.
ahknewb said:
NTA. It sounds like your husband is the kind of person who hates "public displays" (or whatever nonsense wording he uses to describe it). The DJ wanted people to sing.
Clearly the groom didn't care. You can tell your husband to head to the Home Depot. They can sell him some tools which might help him remove the stick that is firmly stuck up his... nevermind.
CandylandCanada said:
NTA. Yikes. Yikes again. Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited him. It seems like this sourpuss doesn't want you to have any shine time, and any praise for you is a bad look for him. Worse, he doubled-down and now "won't talk about it" with you. He seems fun...
friendlily said:
NTA. You should never stay with someone who makes you feel like a wilted flower. Life is hard. Those closest to you should lift you up, encourage you, and celebrate you. Your husband is going to turn you into a shell of yourself.
SpicyMargarita143 said:
YTA - this seems like attention seeking behavior. You drew a lot of attention to yourself in a situation where it wasn’t appropriate.