'AITA for skipping my sister’s wedding because of her awful behavior even though I'm MOH?' UPDATED

"AITA for skipping my only sister’s wedding?"

My (22F) sister (24F) asked me to be her maid of honor a few months ago. Since then, she has not included me in any of the wedding planning, told me she DOESN’T want a bachelorette party, and decided to do her wedding in a different country (where her fiancé is from).

She’s staying in that country (I won’t say where since she might see this post) for a couple months before the wedding to help furnish the house, plan the wedding, etc. My sister asked me to spend about a month and half in that country to help her plan wedding stuff. I was able to come here for that month since I just graduated college and have some time before I start work

However since I’ve gotten here, my sister has gone out every single day with her fiancé (let’s call him Max) and his family, & has not invited me out except once when she was wedding dress shopping.

I had a conversation w/ her about how I’m in a foreign country so I’m not comfortable going out alone when I know nobody here. Also the only reason I’m here is for her. She called me inconsiderate and selfish, saying I should be prioritizing her needs since the wedding is in a month. We’ve been arguing everyday about random/ petty things since I’ve been here.

The last straw was when I went out to buy fabric for my dress for the wedding. We had agreed on a color and getting the dress custom made once I got the fabric.

My sister, unsurprisingly, did not want to come dress shopping with me because she was with Max's family. When I got home she was upset that I got the fabric for the dress without her, despite me telling her before going. She said she thought I’d wait to buy it when we were together, mind you I am paying for my dress & she didn’t offer to pay for it at any point.

We got past that conversation and started discussing the design of the dress. My sister got upset at the design I chose bc it was not “modest enough” for Max’s conservative family. (It was an off-shoulder maxi dress, with literally no cleavage showing, NOT a bodycon, A-line with a slit up to the knee)

She told me since it’s her wedding and she wants to go for a certain look in her pictures, that she should pick the style of my dress. I agreed, with the condition that I have to like the design too (the fabric getting the dress made would cost about $400 so I want to be able to wear this dress again at some point)

She picked out very ugly long sleeve dresses that look very much like mother-of-the-bride dresses. When I kept telling her this was not my style and I wouldn’t feel comfortable in it, she said I was being inconsiderate and told me she’d wear a sparkly red cupcake gown to my wedding (my wedding is next year).

I ended the conversation by telling her that I’m not catering my style to Max’s family, and I’m not dropping $400 on a dress I don’t even like. She said if I don’t care about what she wants then I shouldn’t come to the wedding. AITA for still getting the dress I want made? I am her only sister and maid of honor.

EDIT: A lot of people are saying Max & his fam are abusive/isolating my sister, but I don’t think that’s the case at all. My sister facilitates all the communication between his family and I. Her fiancé is a great guy but very oblivious to her actions & assumes I don’t want to spend time with them since my sister declines all their invites before letting me know

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

LT-Lolo84 said:

NTA. Your sister is being a bridezilla.

Kytrinwrites said:

Yeah, this is absurd levels of bridezilla. I encourage OP to get the dress of her dreams and see if she can connect with some tours or something to get some sightseeing in before bailing. Sister can learn the hard way that there are consequences for actions, and that a wedding does not excuse that.

Crimson_Metallurgist said:

100% NTA. Sounds like she is being completely unreasonable. From the sound of it, you did all you could and put up with a lot. I hope in time you two can get past this, but you are not to blame here at all.

EmpressJainaSolo said:

NTA, and it sounds like your sister has allowed her life to be swallowed by her fiancé and his family. I hope this is merely someone in love being selfish instead of someone being isolated. Different country, adopting new conservative values, and only interacting with the spouse’s family is raising flags for me.

Aquarius052 said:

NTA. If she was paying the bill for the dress, I'd say wear it BC she's paying for it. But her treatment of you is atrocious. I personally would have left a long time ago.

She later shared this update:

I went to get my dress done today and i decided on a new dress that I think is a good compromise. My sister said she did not “necessarily dislike” it. Today i went to dinner with Max and his family.

They invited us because my mom just got here. During the whole time my sister was ignoring me/ turning her head away each time I spoke. While this might be a petty reaction to the dress, I had a good time meeting Max’s siblings. Also, as per some of you guys’ recommendations, I set up some sightseeing and tourist activities w/ some acquaintances I met at their engagement party :)