AITA for snapping a woman who kept commenting about my underarm hair?

"AITA for snapping a woman who kept commenting about my underarm hair?"

I (30sF) was an an outdoor cinema event with my friend (30sF) yesterday and I was wearing a tank top. At one point the woman next to me said she loved that I was "embracing my feminine hair."

I haven’t shaved my underarms for a while so I guess it was more noticeable than I realized. I kind of just awkwardly laughed, said thanks and that I was ‘just lazy’ and turned to chat to my friend.

For context, I’m pale and have dark hair so it can be noticeable. I also have PCOS so I grow more hair than "average." I’m quite insecure about this (I dermablade under my chin regularly cause I hate the dark "more than peach fuzz" I grow). But I also have sensitive skin so sometimes I just choose not to shave.

Anyways the woman next to me and her friend kept getting progressively drunker as the film went on. At the end, she turned to me and again started commenting on how much she ‘"loved" that I didn’t shave. She kept going on about how she wished she was "brave" and I just snapped.

I told her to stop, that I wasn’t being brave, I had a personal medical condition I’m still insecure about and to stop commenting about how my body is different. She got silent, mumbled a sorry and walked off with her friend. We passed them again when they were leaving and she looked like she had been crying.

My friend said I was too harsh and she was just drunkenly trying to complement me. I said it didn’t feel like a compliment when she’s pointing out how different I am. My friend said I had earlier complimented a woman’s hair and she was a different race to me, so it was similar.

It’s starting to get to me. Obviously this drunk woman didn’t know about my issues with body hair but it made me so uncomfortable repeatedly bringing it up. So, AITA for snapping at a woman who kept commenting about my underarm hair?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

piemakerdeadwaker said:

NTA. People gotta stop commenting on other people's bodies.

WandersongWright said:

NAH, honestly I sincerely believe that woman was trying to pay you a compliment and failed miserably. I don't think she's an AH if her intentions were entirely kind and she was drunk and thus more eager to compliment a stranger. You correctly pointed out to her that this is a sensitive subject and she shouldn't be commenting. She apologized.

This was just an awkward interaction with a drunk stranger who did something kinda dumb in an effort to be nice, I don't think either of you should walk away from it feeling particularly awful about what happened.

peachpeachfuzz said:

NTA. You’re not responsible for protecting the feelings of someone who is drunk and can’t control themselves. Even while sober she made a weird comment on someone else’s body which is wild to me. You weren’t harsh going by what you said here either.

You didn’t shout or swear and just asked her to stop commenting on a medical condition. Your friend kind of sounds like TA actually like why is defending the feelings of someone they don’t know more important than listening to how you feel? Complimenting someone’s hair is way different than a comment on body hair also so idk why your friend is comparing that.

Just-Secretary-4018 said:

NTA. Commenting on underarm hair is weirdly personal even if you only do it once. That's one step away from walking up to a stranger on the beach and clapping every time they flash their fuzzy bikini line.

Mindless-Client3366 said:

NTA. It's possible she was trying to compliment you. It's also possible she channeled her inner mean girl and was saying "you're so brave" in a very backhanded way. Either way, people need to stop commenting on others' bodies. Stick to things like "I love your hair" and "Great shirt!"

maybebaebea said:

NTA. Maybe she shouldn't comment on people's bodies next time. I know she was drunk, but still. If you get so drunk that you keep making another person uncomfortable, you need to stop drinking so much.