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'AITA for not taking my boyfriend's dislike of Spaghetti-O's seriously?' 'It's a weird hill to die on.'

'AITA for not taking my boyfriend's dislike of Spaghetti-O's seriously?' 'It's a weird hill to die on.'


"AITA for not taking my boyfriend's dislike of Spaghetti-O's seriously?"

Hello! My boyfriend and I (both 35M) have been together for about five years. He's a little bit of a fussy eater, and in general I do most of not all of the cooking in our relationship. I regularly make pasta dishes and he's completely fine with eating them...

- he even says that my pasta bake is his favorite food. One food which he absolutely hates is Spaghetti-O's - they're not really an important food to me so we just don't buy them.

I went and bought the groceries for the week and happened to pick up some Anelli pasta so I can make pasta bake, his favorite dish. For those who don't know, Anelli pasta is hoop-shaped like Spaghetti-O's.

As soon as he saw me putting them away in the cupboard he got really annoyed at me, and asked why I bought them knowing he had an issue with Spaghetti-O's. I said it's not the same thing, it's just dried pasta with the exact same ingredients as the other shapes of pasta he eats every week.

He said he's been very clear that it's a food he won't eat, and he wants me to go out and buy a different type. I said I know he doesn't like Spaghetti-O's, but maybe if he's eating his favorite meal he won't notice them and it might help him get over his issue with them. AITA here? I think it's a weird hill to die on and that he's overreacting.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Stranger0nReddit said:

NTA. You aren't pushing spaghetti-os on him, you didn't buy them. You bought plain, uncooked pasta. He's 35, he should understand it will not taste like the canned spaghetti-o's. Does he have a really bad association with spaghetti-os or something?

slap-a-frap said:

NTA - what makes Spaghetti-O's taste like shit is the sauce. The hoops are, like you said, just pasta like all other pastas. If you're using them in your own sauce then it's about as far away as Spaghetti-O's as you can get. It is a weird hill to die on.

MemChoeret said:

NAH. He doesn't have to "get over" his issue with Spaghetti-O's. If somebody forced him to eat it as a kid or something like that, that's a valid reason not to ever eat it again. You, on the other hand, didn't do anything in bad faith.

That pasta isn't Spaghetti-O's, and it was reasonable for you to assume when you bought it that he would be fine with it. But once he told you the pasta you bought gives him the ick, you shouldn't insist on him eating that. It's not like he waited until after you cooked it or something.

He told you the minute he saw it that the shape of the pasta is disgusting to him. Just use a different pasta. If y'all are in the US, a box of pasta costs around $1 or $2. It's not really something that's worth fighting about.

Wild-Pie-7041 said:

NTA. Spaghetti-Os aren’t in the same class as homemade pasta. He’s being ridiculous.

codayus said:

Eh...I think it's important to take his dislike of Spaghetti-O's seriously, but I think you (mostly) are. I think it's utterly reasonable to interpret "I don't like Spaghetti-O's" to mean "I don't like canned spaghetti", which is understandable (it makes me queasy just thinking about the texture). So no, you shouldn't buy canned spaghetti, and you didn't, so that's fine.

If he has so much of an issue with one particular type of canned spaghetti that he refused to eat other foods that look a bit like it that's...well, people don't really get to control their food preferences and phobias, but that's an extreme reaction, and while it's fine he has it, he should have been clearer about it, and he shouldn't get upset after he wasn't clear that you didn't somehow figure it out anyhow.

So I would say he's being a little bit of a asshole by (at least in your telling) for getting upset at you for not being a mind reader. Then again, you're being a little bit of one too for your "might help him get over his issue with them" comment.

Eating a pasta bake made from real pasta isn't going to make someone get over the horrifying texture of canned spaghetti, and I'm not sure it's something he really needs to "get over" anyhow. NAH I guess?

Or maybe a super mild everyone sucks. He should apologize for not explaining the depths of his phobia for the horror that is canned spaghetti and for getting upset after he didn't and you made a reasonable mistake. And you should make sure you're taking food preferences seriously.

I mean, if you've been together 5 years, I feel like you probably should have some idea about how picky he is, or how likely he is to let a dislike of one food spill over to similarly foods. Presumably you love - or at least like - the guy; have some charity. I'd feel sh%tty if I accidentally bought some groceries my fiance hates; I wouldn't get mad at her over it.

icansmokewmyvag said:

NAH, I don’t think you did anything heinous and I don’t think he’s in the wrong for having an aversion. “I think it’s a weird hill to die on,” yes I think most random food aversions are weird, so what? People do weird things all the time.

Holiday_Trainer_2657 said:

NAH Or maybe ESH. I get that you had no idea O shaped pasta was part of his SpaghettiO aversion. And you are being kind enough to make his favorite food. So he was kind of rude, but maybe just horrified. He probably never thought to specify that O noodles trigger him.

Your theory you can cure his aversion is kind of AH though. If someone made my favorite food but included something I had an aversion to, I'd be horrified. And afraid my favorite food would be tainted or ruined for the future somehow if I tried it. I'd let him buy replacement pasta if he isn't up for the trial.

Most people were on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

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