'AITA for tearing my girlfriend's family apart over money? She wanted my opinion on the family business.'

"AITA for tearing a family apart over money?"

My girlfriend’s father had a business which was started by his great grandfather back in the 50s and passed through to different members of his family. His father eventually ended up being sole owner after buying out the others. The last person he bought out was his brother to whom he paid about $20,000 back in the early 80s.

This business did not generate much money so he left it to become a grocery store manager while renting out the commercial property. When he passed, he left the property to his wife, my girlfriend’s mother. She’s (the mother) has been receiving rent, about $2800 a month, but it’s barely enough to cover taxes, insurance, and maintenance costs. In most years, she takes home around $5,000.

She wants to sell it for about $350,000 and use the money to travel and see family then move into a retirement community. She’s not rich and is basically living off of social security and measly rental income.

My girlfriend asked my opinion since I’m experienced with land and property so I told her I thought the asking price was too low for a commercial property sitting on an acre of land in the middle of town. She said that’s what it’s worth according to their property tax.

Apparently throughout the entire history of the property, the family had been using the tax assessment to determine the price of buying in and out of the business. I told her the tax assessment and property value are two different things so I sent my appraiser out and he came back with an appraisal of about $1.2 million.

They were shocked and didn’t think that was an accurate price until they started getting offers after it was listed. After some bidding, they came to an agreement with a buyer for almost $1.5 million. The closing is next week. When their family found out, things exploded. Everyone who’s still alive thought they got ripped off for the past buyouts, some dating back to the 60s.

They want their fair share of the selling price but that’s almost impossible because we’re talking about a dozen people with some owning half of the business at some point. Now the family her mother was wanting to visit are threaten to sue.

It’s been stressful on my girlfriend and she’s taking it out on me. Last night she told me that things might have been better if I didn’t bring up the appraisal since all it did was tear her family apart.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

steviesie1984 wrote:

If it was a big secret that grandpa ripped off all his family to amass this “fortune” (that didn’t actually make any money), I could see people being upset that you told everyone the secret. That would assume grandpa told OP and OP was supposed to keep it a secret.

Which is all laughably absurd.

The value of the business has been constantly changing over the last 75 years. People came to agreements about their respective buyouts.

The third guy that started Apple didn’t expect billions in the 2000’s just because he sold out for a few thousand dollars. I’m sure if grandpa had run this company into the ground, or if the EPA found $2MM worth of environmental cleanup that bankrupted him, the extended family wouldn’t be looking to get their stake back. NTA.

Electrical-Tie-5158 wrote:

NTA. This family seems to have a shared trait of being bad at math and business, but you’ve done a massive favor to your in-laws and by extension, likely your wife and your own direct family. All those greedy extended family members were happy to sell their shares for nickles decades ago and should seek their own therapy to deal with their jealousy and entitlement.

MNCrazygirl wrote:

NTA. Your gf is being ridiculous. You helped her mom sell for way more than she was originally going to sell it for and she's upset this happened? She should also know that her family have up their share way back and they have no right to anything from the sale.

stroppo wrote:

NTA. For one thing, you were directly *asked* for your opinion. You didn't insert yourself into anything. It was the mother's decision to act on the information. Not yours. I'd advise her to get an atty though. And if the relatives sue, direct them to the atty. She should not speak to the relatives about the subject again.

NoralieDust wrote:

You didn’t tear the family apart, you exposed the cracks that were already there with a flashlight made of truth and a $1.5 million reality check. The past buyouts were their own agreements; you just made sure her mom didn’t get swindled like everyone else.

becoming_maxine wrote:

NAH. You seem pretty savvy about property. Have you explained to everyone that what that property is worth now is not what it was worth back in the 60s? Back in 1960 the land my house is on was $1.43 an acre.

The neighbor says when he bought the two a joining lots in 1969 it was up to $249.00 an acre. I paid him $300.00 for my quarter of an acre plus house. My house in the last 6 years has gone up to $500+. I think at the time they got paid what the land is worth.

TrainingScared1705 wrote:

NTA at all. No one in her family knows how real estate works. You can’t be Johnny come lately and try to get a piece of something you don’t even own. They all had the ability to get an appraiser and didn’t.

Also what a shock that something is worth a ton more 40 years later. That’s the point of real estate. Your girlfriend should be thanking you. Sorry you’re dealing with this. Your gf is not being fair at all.

KrofftSurvivor wrote:

NTA. Any single one of them could have chosen to have the property value assessed at any point in time before selling their portion. But what they are forgetting is that it wasn't worth anywhere near that much in the 80's, and the only way to recoup the money is to sell.

The property would not still be in the family at this point. The individual who held on to it, the longest is going to be the one who makes the most profit from selling it.

And that's the way life is, and they are being unethical as hell.

Point out to her that they cannot win a lawsuit based on a sale that took place nearly fifty years ago, and if they make the attempt, she can instruct her lawyer to counter sue for the costs incurred in defending her case. In fact, tell her to go talk to a lawyer about this - at this point, even a few thousand is going to be worth the piece of mind that's going to give her.