'AITA for telling a coworker to 'mind her business' after she rudely interrupted a conversation?' UPDATED

"AITA for telling a coworker to 'mind her f* business?'"

So I’ll give some background so people can try and understand why I had this outburst. I am a first generation immigrant and have no family left in the states. My favorite uncle was deported in 2009. My mother was deported in 2011 and I lost both my grandparents in 2012 almost back to back.

I have no contact with some extended family and I moved to a different state where I only have my partner. I work for a grocery store and I keep to myself most of the time but as of recently I have become close with one of the store greeters, lets call her Susie. She is a 72-year-old woman I can say is a hard worker and a kind person.

During my breaks she started to talk to me, me and everyone at work know a lot about her because she likes to talk a lot but I think it's because she’s lonely.

Okay I'll just move forward to the issues that happened, Susie is a widower that due to fertility issues did not have any children, but she has cats.

Their names are Willie and Bill and she refers to said cats as her boys. I myself have 2 cats and I refer to them as my girls, Susie and I bonded over this and we talk a lot about our cats and I even sometimes go over to her home to help clean up and wash her litter boxes every 2-3 weeks.

Anyway we have a coworker we’ll call her Karen, she is the bosses minion she thinks she can boss us around and it's pretty annoying TBH. So the other day Karen heard us talking about how Susie is taking her boys to the vet and I was going over possibly joining her or my partner.

Karen butted in really loud “I didn't know you guys had playdates for kids!” (she knows Susie doesn't have kids, my guess is she was being nosy) Susie being the angel she is, responded “Oh we do! We have playdates with our furbabies” Karen’s face changed and she looked mad.

“Animals aren't kids” she said super rude and it made me and Susie uncomfortable

Susie tried to laugh off the tension saying something along the lines of “To each our own '' but Karen kept going at it, she scolded us, told us how inhumane it was for us to compare children to animals.

Went on and on about how she had a cousin that lost a baby and couldn't imagine hearing someone like us call animals children. I was getting fed up because Susie looked like she was going to cry, then Karen said “But I guess I shouldn't expect someone who can’t have their own kids to understand” to say I was shocked she said that is a understatement.

Susie looked crushed and I snapped “Karen why don't you mind your f* business?” Karen huffed and puffed how she was going to tell the manager what I said to her but idc…Susie ended up taking the day off after that and requested time off. And I know I will have disciplinary actions for what I did. But AITA?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Jerichothered wrote:

Tell HR/supervisor about how she was bullying a widow who couldn’t have children about her cats…by the way NTA

OP responded:

I will filing some sort of complaint with HR and see where it goes. Thank you!

JJ-Anthrax wrote:

NTA, and you should get to HR before she does because bringing up someone's infertility in a nasty way is bullying and no way is that allowed in the workplace

OP responded:

I am starting to get feeling I should do this, I 've had a lot of people message me and I see few post here. I think I will be taking this further, thank you!

TigerLilyKitty101 wrote:

NTA, she can F off with that “holier than thou” attitude and keep her nose out of other people’s business. She butted into a conversation she wasn’t welcome in, got all judgy and sh#$ty, and then shamed a child-free person.

sweetpea0893 wrote:

NTA omg please give Susie a hug for me! I also have 2 kitties and they are my world. People like to bring other people down just to make themselves feel better and I’m glad you stood up to a b-lly who was hurting Susie for absolutely no reason other than to be hateful.

A month later, OP shared an update.

Hello dears, I just wanted to update on my post I made about my dear friend Susie and an annoying coworker.

I was let go by this employer and to be quite honest it was a blessing in disguise.

I was treated very poorly after I got HR involved at the advice of many of this thread, I had a bad feeling if I did that, I was going to be b#$lied relentlessly because the HR we have is not a normal one its what is called partnered HR and they are about the employer and saving their company and not caring about the employees.

I had spoken with Susie who at first was apprehensive about escalating the situation but I told her I was going to do it in our behalf and before I knew it I was literally picked on afterwards. Its ok though I was let go and Susie quit right after and I am helping her right now cleaning her house and cooking for her as well.

I thankfully do not need money, my partner and I knew something like this would happen if I took matters to HR so they are working OT at the moment and Susie being the angel she is has helped me when needed which is why I am doing all her house work to repay her for the help she gave me this past month.

She also opened up about her husband who was an expert in a field of work I am VERY interested in and she has actually spoken with many of her late husbands friends and I have a chance to work my dream job!

I am thankful for everyone who told me I did well for standing up for my friend. She is amazing and I do not regret what happened. We also spent all holidays together and my friend Susie looks a lot happier since leaving that toxic place, so again thank you all for your time! I really appreciate it.

Not long after posting, OP shared another update.

EDIT: I am making this one and only edit bc wow firstly I am overwhelmed with the response on this post, I had no intention on saying anything but I see people saying I should sue and so forth.

TBH its not worth it for me, I feel like the only comment that resonated with me was the one to report what happened so others are careful if they work for this company and store in particular. I would hate for anyone to go into this blindly that place especially nc it was good to me up until I involve HR.

I really from the bottom of my heart thank each and everyone that in good faith are telling me the steps to take but have to be careful how I proceeded in corporate America bc this will residence until maybe 2025 or 2026 and I am POC I know there is a place I meant to take in USA.

I want to cherish my friendship with Susie, I want to travel with her and show her my home country and I want her to enjoy her days. and that's the bottom line for me.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

abelard25 wrote:

I do employment law - not sure of the law in your jurisdiction, but you likely have a strong claim here.

suchboss1136 wrote:

HR is there to save the company from being sued. But a ton of lawsuits stem from mistreatment of employees. As a rule of thumb, HR will do the right thing in employee conflicts. In this instance my guess is the one broad lied & it was a he said she said situation. And her being a suck up to the boss, they sided with her.

Many states & nations have labour laws that were broken in this situation. You potentially had a case to sue. But that said, you’re in a better place & peace of mind is worth more than the little bit of money you could potentially win. I’m happy to hear you’re doing well! Kind acts don’t go unrewarded and it seems like you’re getting yours!

[deleted] wrote:

Glad everything turned out for you, but never trust HR. People have this idea that they're there to mediate, but they're simply not.

cooky2k wrote:

Make a report to department of labor. They retaliated against you raising a grievance which is a protected right. That retaliation to child worker's rights is a violation of fair labor laws.