'AITA for telling a plus-size woman that I love being skinny? She commented on my body.'

"AITAH for telling a plus size woman that I love being ‘skinny?'"

I dread going to my childhood friend's birthday party every year. We moved apart a decade ago, and even though I'll always care deeply about her, we are very different people now and her friend group reflects this.

She has one friend, let's call her Amanda, who...without fail... has to comment on my weight EVERY single time she sees me.

'You're so skinny!' 'Do you even eat?' 'Does your bf care that you don't have curves?' 'Your legs are like sticks!'

For the record - I eat plenty. I just have a fast metabolism which keeps me super thin. I keep a strong face when Amanda says these things to me, but truthfully she's touching on my worst insecurities and it makes me dread going to these parties every year.

I was considering not going this year, until I talked to my mom about it.

My mom had (what I thought was) a great idea on how to deal with Amanda. She suggested I pretend she's giving me a compliment.

My mom told me: "If Amanda says 'You're so skinny!', just smile and say 'Thanks! I love being skinny. And if she looks disappointed at your response, you'll have proven she was trying to insult you." I thought this was great advice, however something I had failed to mention to my mom was that Amanda was overweight. I didn't realize this meant I was entering potential AH territory.

Anyway, the dreaded birthday party day comes. And of course, no surprise, Amanda immediately looks at my arms and comments how tiny they are. I ignored this comment. Then later on in the day, we were standing in a group together and she was eyeing me up and down. She chuckled to herself and says "God, you're so skinny."

And I thought, ok here it is. Here is my moment.

I turned to her, smiled and said "Thanks. I love being skinny".

And then, and I am completely serious here...

SHE SLAPS ME IN THE FACE!!!!! I was in complete shock, just staring back at her, mouth hanging open with my hand on my cheek. Everyone was silent.

She suddenly bursts into tears and runs out of the room. Two of her friends chase her. Only one other girl and my childhood friend asked if I was okay, but everyone else was just shooting me dirty looks. I promptly left the party (which sucked cause I had a two-hour commute and had planned to sleepover).

The next day, I was texting with my childhood friend about it. She basically thinks that even though Amanda shouldn't have slapped me, that I was insensitive for saying "I love being skinny" to a plus size person. I argued that Amanda has been consistently insensitive to me every party. And I didn't comment on her body, only my own.

She told me that it's different because being skinny is socially acceptable, and that Amanda wouldn't usually do something like this but I triggered her with my 'insult'.

My mom thinks I am in the right but this was all her idea so of course she does lol. So AITA for what I said to Amanda?

The internet had a lot of thoughts about the situation.

facingtherocks wrote:

NTA. I am overweight and I would NEVER comment on anyone’s body size—large, small, medium tall short. Someone’s body is the least interesting thing about them. And body policing is wrong no matter what. Appearance comments, even ones on women who are small are harmful. You have the right to live in peace in your body.

PBB_Sav wrote:

Press charges, I hate people like that with my whole soul. Drop all of them people that disagree with what you did, it will help with you not having any drama to deal with. People like that are so ignorant and hypocritical. It’s sad to see how stupid their logic is. You’re so much better than me I would have gotten fed up and would’ve started making comments about her weight. You're very mature.

WorthFeeling5295 wrote:

NTA. Being plus sized doesn't give anyone a free pass to comment on other people's bodies. She was a b-lly and when you called her out on her shit, she lost it and did what she probably wanted to do for a long time and punish you for her insecurities.

Of course, she's going to spin it differently and play the victim, but at the end of the day, you have to calmly tell your side of the story. P.S: Your mom was right.

gdaybarb wrote:

I knew someone like this.

She used to call me skinny mini every time I saw her.

One day I replied back hi fatty watty. Never happened again.

PlayaRosita wrote:

You are not the AH! Why is it not okay for someone to comment on how overweight they are, but the same doesn’t go for being thin? Imagine if you would have said “oh my, you are so fat” to Amanda every time you saw her? Screw her, go and have yourself a huge piece of cake and laugh about how you won’t gain a pound! 🤪🍰

MyFriendsCallMeEpic wrote:

NTA - I'm petty. I'd press ass-ult charges.
Her having an issue with her weight doesn't give her the right to lay hands on anyone.