I (25F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been a relationship for 4 years now. My bf has a thing where if anything interrupts his peace then he gets very upset. For example, when we got our puppy, he was not used to having him around at first and gets upset that his home is no longer a place for him to relax after work because he bites his leg wanting to play. After a while, he does get accustomed to the new changes (now he loves our dog).
My bf was dealing with an itch in his butt and I took a look at it a home and it was like a bump next to his anus. For context, I work in the emergency room so I suggest that we should have a PA or doctor to take a look at it. $350 down the drain later and he was diagnosed with hemorrhoids, which is uncommon for someone that young. PA said that it’ll go away on its own.
He has been dealing with the pain and itches, while annoyed by them, is getting better as days goes on. A week later, I had to go to work and thank the PA for treating my bf.
The PA then tells me that he may have to deal with it for the rest of his life because hemorrhoids can occur at any time but can be prevented if he eats more grains and drink more water. Which is perfect because he loves overnight oats (just started incorporated them into his diet) and drinks plenty of water. I text him this and he EXPLODED.
He said that I ruined his day because this hemorrhoids is messing with his peace. Said he wasted $350 just to tell him this. I told him that it’ll be fine and that he just needs incorporate more fiber in his diet. He complains that I should’ve told him in the evening and not in the morning before he goes to work because his has go through work with this news.
He said that he has to rethink life over this. I don’t think it’s a big deal because as a person who works in the ER and seen lots of worse cases happen to people, my bf having a hemorrhoid is not that serious.
But idk maybe it’s because I never had it that I can’t sympathize with him. I know he will be accustomed to these changes but his comments towards me were hurtful. So AITA for telling my bf that he has to deal with his hemorrhoids long term.
NTA - your BF sounds like he is unable to manage his emotions in a mature way. You might reconsider your relationship.
Nta. He might have a processing disorder that takes him more time to adjust to uncomfy situations. Maybe have a conversation with him about how you're not responsible for processing his emotions for him and how that is something he needs to work on instead of exploding at you.
NTA. I am also one of those people that gets annoyed if my peace is disturbed but I know by getting angry about it I’m only winding myself up and it’s better to just let things come and go and I can go back to my peace quicker, if he accepted that he’d be less wound up lol.
NTA and it sounds like your bf may benefit from some therapy to help him learn some healthy ways to handle change when it happens unexpectedly.
If you had told him at night he'd complain that you ruined his night there would really be no winning here, I wont say you should dumb but I do think you two need to talk about how he talks to you when he gets upset and how you are not his emotional punching bag when he gets upset, that he needs to learn to regulate his emotions better because it is not your job to do that for him.
I get upset when things change, I get upset when something suddenly changes but I never take it out on my partner and when I do I instantly apologize because it's not his fault and this isn't your fault either.